You Can't Take it With You
The treasure you have here won't matter38 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Davis
Although the prompt asked for a poem about one deadly sin, your comprehensive poem about all seven is fantastic. It incorporates each sin seamlessly, has a rhythm and flow that hums along easily, and a great rhyming scheme, as well. The artwork accompanying the piece is a perfect fit. An enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Although the prompt asked for a poem about one deadly sin, your comprehensive poem about all seven is fantastic. It incorporates each sin seamlessly, has a rhythm and flow that hums along easily, and a great rhyming scheme, as well. The artwork accompanying the piece is a perfect fit. An enjoyable read.
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Thank you very much for the six stars. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are straight forward, strong, descriptive and creative.
The author's notes made the reader smile. I like the last line of this poem
as it implies to me God's help! The poem flows and connects well. The artwork cover the theme of this poem well.
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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The author's words are straight forward, strong, descriptive and creative.
The author's notes made the reader smile. I like the last line of this poem
as it implies to me God's help! The poem flows and connects well. The artwork cover the theme of this poem well.
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Brr, your collection is so scary and first you move us through Purgatory and at the end gave us a a happy ending:"
Whenever I wear cloth,
I don't want to be a Sloth,
As you can see,
It's hard for me,
My life is simply a mess,
All I can do is ask God to bless," Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Brr, your collection is so scary and first you move us through Purgatory and at the end gave us a a happy ending:"
Whenever I wear cloth,
I don't want to be a Sloth,
As you can see,
It's hard for me,
My life is simply a mess,
All I can do is ask God to bless," Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Thank you very much for the six stars. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from Dilettante junior
Great job with the poem! Including all the deadly sins into one is a terrific idea since they are all indeed related. I find your poem smooth, lighthearted, with some funny sidelines(Lays) to a deeper undertone of the severity of the sins- they should be avoided indeed. How better to end it than asking for forgiveness and hoping for God's blessings?
Well done.
DJ
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Great job with the poem! Including all the deadly sins into one is a terrific idea since they are all indeed related. I find your poem smooth, lighthearted, with some funny sidelines(Lays) to a deeper undertone of the severity of the sins- they should be avoided indeed. How better to end it than asking for forgiveness and hoping for God's blessings?
Well done.
DJ
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Thank you very much DJ. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from ESOSTINE
Your poem dealt with the seven deadly sins, and pointed out some consequences of indulging in them. Of the seven I find pride, envy and wrath more dangerous yet all seven are entwined as you vividly expressed in your poem. Beautiful work! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Your poem dealt with the seven deadly sins, and pointed out some consequences of indulging in them. Of the seven I find pride, envy and wrath more dangerous yet all seven are entwined as you vividly expressed in your poem. Beautiful work! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Thank you very much Dolly. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written poem full of some humor and some truth. You used very good descriptive words and very neat imagery. I enjoyed reading and reviewing. I am so thankful the God knows we are human and we can ask for forgiveness. Teri
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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This is a very well written poem full of some humor and some truth. You used very good descriptive words and very neat imagery. I enjoyed reading and reviewing. I am so thankful the God knows we are human and we can ask for forgiveness. Teri
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Thank you very much Teri. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
Like you, I don't know that I could pick only one sin to write about - the problem is that the contest seems to ask that you do. I hope the CEC will permit your poem the way it is, but you might want to be thinking of a Plan B in case they think you should restrict yourself exactly to the way the poem says 'ONE'.
Also, 'sloth' would actually rhyme with 'cloth', not 'oath'. Otherwise, everything looks great. Good luck!
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Dear Mystery Writer,
Like you, I don't know that I could pick only one sin to write about - the problem is that the contest seems to ask that you do. I hope the CEC will permit your poem the way it is, but you might want to be thinking of a Plan B in case they think you should restrict yourself exactly to the way the poem says 'ONE'.
Also, 'sloth' would actually rhyme with 'cloth', not 'oath'. Otherwise, everything looks great. Good luck!
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Thank you very much Robyn. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from RodG
I feel I have just attended a Puritan sermon back inthe 17th century when New England was first settled. You have done an excellent job of explaining succinctly what the Seven Sins are and why they should be avoided. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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I feel I have just attended a Puritan sermon back inthe 17th century when New England was first settled. You have done an excellent job of explaining succinctly what the Seven Sins are and why they should be avoided. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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I didn't mean it as a sermon, it was tongue in cheek. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
