Homelessness
Let's Conquer8 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Another super job with your looping acrostic form. You bring up a strong point about how many people turn a blind eye to the problem of homelessness in our cities.
One question - I didn't quite understand this line:
"Empathy for a person your streets we now sleep" (Did you mean we know sleep?)
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
  |
Another super job with your looping acrostic form. You bring up a strong point about how many people turn a blind eye to the problem of homelessness in our cities.
One question - I didn't quite understand this line:
"Empathy for a person your streets we now sleep" (Did you mean we know sleep?)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
-
Thank you, I meant that line as is I just may be saying it wrong-trying to say that the people have no empathy for the ones sleeping on their (the non homeless people's) streets?? not sure if this comes out right, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
-
I got that meaning from the poem overall. It's just that line was hard to parse. How about:
Empathy for a person who on your streets sleep.
Just a suggestion. No need to change.
-
I like it! it reads with more understanding, many thanks
-
Thank you! And since the subject is "a person" then the verb should be "sleeps" which means the next line should start with "sleeps." I think it still works.
Comment from Lana Marie
Oh sad, this brings me back to when I was a kid and we moved to Mexico. I was 3 yrs old - 7. We lived in a humble gated community. When we walked around the corner there would be kids running the streets and others looking like the picture.
Dry touching and it gives the reader a chance to reflect on how they may be a part of the solution to conquer homelessness.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
|
Oh sad, this brings me back to when I was a kid and we moved to Mexico. I was 3 yrs old - 7. We lived in a humble gated community. When we walked around the corner there would be kids running the streets and others looking like the picture.
Dry touching and it gives the reader a chance to reflect on how they may be a part of the solution to conquer homelessness.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
-
Thank you very much, I feel for the homeless so much money gets spent on seeking a better future yet everyone seems to be ignoring the now, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is the sad reality of homelessness and your presentation here brings home the plight of those who live on the streets. Your acrostic/loop is cleverly and skilfully written and I wish you luck with the contest, a poignant write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 31-May-2021
|
This is the sad reality of homelessness and your presentation here brings home the plight of those who live on the streets. Your acrostic/loop is cleverly and skilfully written and I wish you luck with the contest, a poignant write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 31-May-2021
reply by the author on 31-May-2021
-
Thank you Dolly, I enjoy this form, the contest is over and I did have some good responses, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Allison78
You did a wonderful job writing this poem! I loved how each word at the end of each line started the next line. Very moving and thought provoking. I think some notes would add to the poem describing if homelessness is something that you have overcome or if you have witnessed homelessness. God job!
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
|
You did a wonderful job writing this poem! I loved how each word at the end of each line started the next line. Very moving and thought provoking. I think some notes would add to the poem describing if homelessness is something that you have overcome or if you have witnessed homelessness. God job!
Comment Written 27-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
-
What a wonderful review, I try to refrain from adding to much about myself in these blind prompts, but not so much-homeless but left home-school at 14 years of age, so thought I could relate
Comment from Wendy G
I enjoyed this thoughtful poem about homelessness, using the acrostic format and the loop style. It is clear and well written (apart from the spelling error in "surrendered", which I overlooked for the five star rating). Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
|
I enjoyed this thoughtful poem about homelessness, using the acrostic format and the loop style. It is clear and well written (apart from the spelling error in "surrendered", which I overlooked for the five star rating). Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
-
Thank you very much, your overlooking is much appreciated, I am practising my gramma and punctuation
Comment from AnnaLinda
Dear Poet,
You've not only written an impacting acrostic poem about homelessness, you've crafted it as a loop poem as well. That is your forte and you've outdone yourself here.
Super talent addressing an overwhelming current tragedy.
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
 |
Dear Poet,
You've not only written an impacting acrostic poem about homelessness, you've crafted it as a loop poem as well. That is your forte and you've outdone yourself here.
Super talent addressing an overwhelming current tragedy.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
-
Wow! Thank you very much
-
You are welcome!
Comment from tfawcus
An acrostic loop poem I don't think I've seen one of these before. Clever.
The problem of homelessness seems to be an intractable one. The dream of finding a solution should be higher on the government's priority list in my opinion.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
|
An acrostic loop poem I don't think I've seen one of these before. Clever.
The problem of homelessness seems to be an intractable one. The dream of finding a solution should be higher on the government's priority list in my opinion.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
-
Thank you very much, and yes it should be
Comment from Eternal Muse
A very good acrostic to the word "Homelessness". You've illustrate that state well with your well chosen words.
Great imagery, visuals and artwork.
This should do very well in the contest, good luck.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
|
A very good acrostic to the word "Homelessness". You've illustrate that state well with your well chosen words.
Great imagery, visuals and artwork.
This should do very well in the contest, good luck.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
-
Thank you very much
