Midnight on the Bayou
A tanka for the contest8 total reviews
Comment from angel123
Your Tanka poem flows beautifully from your imagination. You use good alliteration of c letters and sounds. Your poem shows off your cleverness and wit in writing and your artwork choice compliments your message. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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Your Tanka poem flows beautifully from your imagination. You use good alliteration of c letters and sounds. Your poem shows off your cleverness and wit in writing and your artwork choice compliments your message. Best wishes!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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Thank you for sharing your insights on this piece. I?m glad you enjoyed your visit to the bayou!
Comment from AliMom
Great poem, very descriptive. Great artwork. Why did you switch tense mid-stream? (stopped, gleamed - and then croak) I think it would have been better to have stayed in the past tense. But that's just me. A lovely, dreamy work. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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Great poem, very descriptive. Great artwork. Why did you switch tense mid-stream? (stopped, gleamed - and then croak) I think it would have been better to have stayed in the past tense. But that's just me. A lovely, dreamy work. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your insights on this piece. I did revise it according to your suggestion and it does flow better with the same tense in verbs. Much appreciated!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Fine tanka--third line makes for an elegant pivot--vivid imagery--heavens stopped weeping-- and whimsical as regards frogs croaking and herons dreaming.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Fine tanka--third line makes for an elegant pivot--vivid imagery--heavens stopped weeping-- and whimsical as regards frogs croaking and herons dreaming.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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So glad you enjoyed this visit to the bayou at midnight! Thank you for stopping by to share your sentiments.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine tanka and I wish you luck with the contest. Loving the sentiments.
To keep the tenses in line, I would suggest the following:
'Moonlight (shone) through clouds'
Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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A fine tanka and I wish you luck with the contest. Loving the sentiments.
To keep the tenses in line, I would suggest the following:
'Moonlight (shone) through clouds'
Love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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So glad you enjoyed this visit to the bayou at midnight! Thank you for stopping by to share your sentiments. I did revise it a bit.
Comment from victor 66
I have never been in a Bayou, but I have been in jungles. There is so much life and activity that surrounds you, that sometimes it is overpowering. What I find is, a person either appreciates it or they do not. I do. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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I have never been in a Bayou, but I have been in jungles. There is so much life and activity that surrounds you, that sometimes it is overpowering. What I find is, a person either appreciates it or they do not. I do. Best wishes.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Thank you for dropping by to read and share your thoughts. Glad you could relate to the midnight shenanigans down at the bayou...
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You are most welcome, mystery writer.
Comment from Sugarray77
You have done an excellent job on this Tanka! The presence and feel is so well defined. A master hand at work here. So enjoyed reading it. Wish you luck!!
Melissa
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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You have done an excellent job on this Tanka! The presence and feel is so well defined. A master hand at work here. So enjoyed reading it. Wish you luck!!
Melissa
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Thanks, Melissa. Glad you enjoyed this midnight scenario at the bayou.
Comment from Carlos' girl
Oh i loved the title first of all. It caught my attention immediately. I picture spanish moss though you did not mention it. Moonlight of course had to be integrated here. Very nice illustration as well. Thanks for the picture perfect imagery of your tanka
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Oh i loved the title first of all. It caught my attention immediately. I picture spanish moss though you did not mention it. Moonlight of course had to be integrated here. Very nice illustration as well. Thanks for the picture perfect imagery of your tanka
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed this midnight scenario at the bayou. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your sentiments.
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Xoxo have a wonderful day
Comment from tfawcus
You have an effective pivot line in the middle, binding the two halves of your tanks together and the result is a graphic picture of what it is like to experience a place such as this at night. Very atmospheric.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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You have an effective pivot line in the middle, binding the two halves of your tanks together and the result is a graphic picture of what it is like to experience a place such as this at night. Very atmospheric.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed this midnight scenario at the bayou. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your sentiments.
