Reviews from

Money Well Spent

A father and son story

22 total reviews 
Comment from ShirleyT1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What an excellent story! I can see why your story was chosen as the winner of the true story contest. It demonstrates the ties between a father and son, and memories that last a lifetime and longer. Great, great job!

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021

    Hi, ShirleyT1,

    Thank you so very much for those kind words! I've been meaning to stop by and look at your work (and that of quite a few others) but I've fallen a little behind in my obligations.

    With sincerest appreciation,

    J. P.
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a wonderful story about fathers and sons staying connection. That sounded like a fun and interesting flight. I have ridden in a b-plane. I did a dive and one roll. I enjoyed it. But in cost much more than five dollars. I also roded in a glider.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats on the win.
Joan

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021

    Hi, dragonpoet,

    Thank you for those comments and time spent reading the story. I'm glad you see that it's really about the father and son maintaining a connection through life. Your glider ride must've been very special, and they too, can perform some aerobatics!

    Warm regards,

    J. P.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A truly masterful story and a well-deserved win. I felt i was up there in that flimsy plane with you, although feeling decidedly more scared than you seemed to be.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021

    Hi, Katherine,

    Thank you for reading my story and those comments. I tried very hard to put the reader in the cockpit with me.

    With appreciation,

    J. P.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a great memory for you and that connects to the loss of memory in your father. He still remembered that he paid for that fuel to get that ride for you. It shows a lot of love.
I don't know much about planes but I really like "grin of my own any dentist would have recognized" for a nervous grin!

Congratulations on the win!!

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
    Hi, lyenochka,

    Thank you! That's very flattering. I read your piece "Family Secret" about midnight (my time) right after the True Story contest results came out. Coin toss in my opinion as to ranking winners in that one.

    Very best wishes,

    J. P.
reply by lyenochka on 19-Jul-2021
    Thanks, JP!
    Blessings,
    Helen
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Congrats on your prize for this stunning piece. Not surprised! Masterfully narrated tale of an exhilarating adventure--touching tribute to your father--I recall your recent story about his death. Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
    Hi, Elizabeth,

    I like the way you lie . . . . ;)

    Seriously, though, thanks so much. I'm gonna sound like a broken record saying it, but I can't believe the amount of high caliber writing around here. Can't hardly believe I'm playin' in the same sand box.

    Very best wishes,

    J. P.

Comment from Contests

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A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021

    Wow. Thank you!

    Considering the quality of the other submittals in this competition, I think there's probably been a mistake. So . . . I'm gonna grab this award and run like a jackrabbit before things are properly sorted out . . . . .

    Very kindest regards to all,

    J. P.
Comment from Susan Newell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Damn. I'm out of sixes. You told this so well that I was with you for the whole ride, and I like the way you showed and how you were close to your father, then more distant, then close again. This is a nice heart-warming story.

You write so well that I am reluctant to question anything, but the proofreader/editor in me picked up a few things:

The first aircraft our airman ever flew back then -- an airman? Otherwise you'd have to pluralize the planes in this and the next sentence

the Stearman did half-roll -- Do you need an "a" before half-roll?

couldn't pullout after three revolutions -- pull out?

ride and about not getting "airsick." -- I don't think the quotation marks help.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
    Hi, Susan,

    All these are good suggestions no one has ever picked up on. I'll make them except, perhaps, the last one. I was thinking since, "airsick" was mentioned at the beginning of the story, that it wouldn't be superfluous to put the word in quotes at the end of the story--or would that not be the case. I'd value your opinion on that.

    Best,

    J. P.

    (and thanks!)
reply by Susan Newell on 15-Jul-2021
    Simply my opinion, but I think the first one covered the reluctance to use the word puke, and don't see it as necessary for the second, because indeed, it would have been airsickness if it happened. It's not like calling a hangover "the flu." In that case you would want to stay consistent. I hope I expressed that clearly.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
    Yeah, I think so. Sort of scare quotes kinda thing, when one word/phrase really means something else.

    Hey what do I know? You found the business about "airman" and "half-roll" in about 2 seconds. If I had an image of you, I'd be burning a candle, lighting some incense and saying a little prayer. I don't know what/were you are/were paid as a proofreader, but it wasn't enough.

reply by Susan Newell on 16-Jul-2021
    LOL. I've been doing it in one fashion or another (off and on) since I was fifteen. I think I started at about $0.75 an hour.
Comment from muffinmama
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent writing. The revelation of the close and vital relationship between the author and his father is accomplished through an in-depth presentation of a facet of the history of aviation. Throughout the story, we see the intelligence of the father in the delicate way he maintained the relationship with his son.
I love the style of the writing, the visuals and the imagery. The tension preceding the flight is cleverly created through the mention of how easily these small crafts can crash.
Yet, the tone is easy, no panic or plethora of exclamation marks.
This was an extremely enjoyable (and educational!) read.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
    Hi, muffinmama,

    Wow. It's difficult to express how gratifying it is read such a positive review. Thank you!

    Very kindest regards,

    J.P.
Comment from Tpa
Excellent
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The story was well-crafted. You wrote vivid descriptions, especially during when you were airborne with Neal.
It must have been a great thrill for you and no doubt one of your fondest memories. GOOD LUCK.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
    Hi, Tpa,

    Thank you for reading my story and those kind words. It was an unforgettable experience, and I wish I could read these reviews to my father.

    Very best wishes,

    J.P.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story is very well written. That is a great memory of your childhood and the surprise that your father planned for you. Thank you for sharing this experience with us.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
    Hi, Anne,

    Sorry for not responding sooner. Thank you for those kind words. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

    Very sincerely,

    J.P.
reply by Anne Johnston on 10-Jul-2021
    You are very welcome