Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Hi Melissa,
This minute poem gives a clear image of a strong storm and its effect on crops and whatever it touchs. Your use of metaphor strengthens the feeling of danger in the storm.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021

Hi Joan. Thank you for your perceptive comments. So glad you liked it.

Melissa

reply by dragonpoet on 08-Jul-2021

Any time, Melissa.
Joan

Comment from royowen

Excellent

What a fine wordsmith you are Melissa, I'm not fond of the minute format, but the format doesn't matter if one has the word power to carry it, and the sense of fine rhythm and rhyme that you possess, beautifully written Melissa, good luck, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021

Hello Roy. Thanks so much for your lovely review and I KNOW you could write a splendid one too if you wanted. You have such brilliant talent. :)

Melissa

reply by royowen on 08-Jul-2021

Thank you dear girl

Comment from RGstar

Exceptional

A very well done. You have come far since your first poem....and how you have improved. Bravo.
I don't think I will read another poem today that imposes and demands such imagery. It forces you to see, listen, and digest.
A very well done.
Good poetic aura, and a find array of a distinct adjectives, and verbs with solid nouns for its base.
Good luck with this.
My best wishes.
RG

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021

Hello RG. Thank you for your review and the intelligent, perceptive comments. I know I will recall your encouraging words as I continue to write? they will propel me to stretch and dare to try new concepts. I really appreciate your thoughts on this Minute form.

Melissa

reply by RGstar on 08-Jul-2021

Have a good day. My best

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

It is most appropriate that you chose to end this in formal sympathy with the content, with a slant rhyme, consonantal rhyme in fact, rather than the full rhyme used up to that point.. Since the end has a question mfark hanging ovver it, then it is right and proprr that the rhyme should be a tad uncertain.

You word choice creates excellent imagery. Ibwishbi had a six for you but...

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 Comment Written 08-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021

Hello Jim. Thank you for your perspective review. I have grown up pronouncing the word ..strewn.. as it would rhyme with uknown. I am considering finding a new word since it is for a contest. I am so uncertain. Thanks again!!

Melissa

reply by Pantygynt on 08-Jul-2021

I think you should leave it as it is. It is perfect.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Loved this, Melissa! I think this one will do will in the contest! I love the meter you put in and the powerful nature images and internal rhymes. The metaphor of hurling lances is so cool!

My one comment is a difference in pronunciation probably between yours and mine is the rhyme of "strewn" and "known."

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 Comment Written 08-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021

In the south, I have always heard it with the rhyme sound of known. I will double check with Merriam.

Thanks so much for everything, Helen.

Melissa

reply by lyenochka on 08-Jul-2021

Well, I pronounce "strewn" as "stroon."
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/strewn
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/unknown

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021

Perhaps I should look for a different word? thanks so much.

reply by lyenochka on 08-Jul-2021

It's completely up to you. I don't think it's a showstopper. I'd wait to see if anyone else comments about it.

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021

Thank you, good idea.

M