Mr. Townsend
Charlie Story contest entry13 total reviews
Comment from Susan Newell
So that's how it all started -- kicking, head butting, arm twisting, .45 in the mouth, shotgun to the skull, crushed throat. Those chicks were pretty well trained at the police academy. Well written and humorous tale of action/adventure.
I'd suggest editing to clean up your line breaks. They're distracting to the reader.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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So that's how it all started -- kicking, head butting, arm twisting, .45 in the mouth, shotgun to the skull, crushed throat. Those chicks were pretty well trained at the police academy. Well written and humorous tale of action/adventure.
I'd suggest editing to clean up your line breaks. They're distracting to the reader.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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Lol. Yep, that's how it all began. Thank you for the great review and suggestion, Susan. Might I be able to get you to elaborate on the line breaks that are distracting to the reader so I can fix them? I'm more of a poetry writer than prose so I might have numerous things incorrect. I really appreciate the generous stars. Thank you again.
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There are some places where there is a "return" inserted in the middle of a line. Like this:
until
his neck snapped.
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I run into this problem often. It all depends on the zoom setting the reader has on their screen. I try to avoid that from happening but some folks have their screen zoomed in a little more and see it all differently that how it looks on mine. I'll reduce the font size and hopefully that will fix the problem. Thank you again.
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I don't think it's the font size. It's definitely an extra return. Sometimes FanStory reads a space as a "carriage return." Do you use advanced editor? When this happens to me, I just delet once and then add a space, because it will push the two words together.
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I'll give it a try.
Comment from siais
"I can offer you ten times the amount you'd earn if you'd rather come
work for me."
Well written with the required action details, done justice to the theme and best of luck, thanks for sharing take care!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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"I can offer you ten times the amount you'd earn if you'd rather come
work for me."
Well written with the required action details, done justice to the theme and best of luck, thanks for sharing take care!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the great review and stars, siais. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from Sanku
This is a lovely story .The adventure is thrilling ,the ladies cleverly attcking the assailant and saving him. one even killed a man. The end was great 'charlie's angels.. all the best for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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This is a lovely story .The adventure is thrilling ,the ladies cleverly attcking the assailant and saving him. one even killed a man. The end was great 'charlie's angels.. all the best for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the great review, Sanku. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this silly piece.
