Reviews from

Tepid Shadows

a Naani poetic form

30 total reviews 
Comment from QC Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The poem seems a little bit dark and gloomy but I'm not familiar with the style of the Naani format. I did enjoy reading this poem offering. Blessings

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
    Thank you so much.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Naani poetic form
Tepid Shadows

Great entry for the Write a Naani writing prompt contest. I have to try it. It's similar to Japanese poetry. Your poem has good form. You described someone very sick. I love the imagery and descriptive words you used. I can't chose a part, the whole poem is exceptional....

(tepid shadows linger)
in (flaking corners)
where the air is drugged
with the (scent of stale malaise) strong images. Well done!

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
    Thanks so much, Gypsy!!!
Comment from mermaids
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your use of words appeals to the senses. There is an eery feel to the presence of the shadows. "Where the air is drugged" is a vivid line that makes the reader feels like she is in the poem. Excellent Naani form and use of words.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
    Thanks so much Elaine!!

Comment from MissMerri
Excellent
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I love the creative and unique word choices in this poem and I enjoyed very much the sad and somber mood created, both by the words and by the illustration. "The scent of stale malaise" was particularly striking and stood out for me. I liked this very much. I'm sure this will do well in the naani contest. My best wishes for your success. MM

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
    Thanks so much Adonna!!
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very well written Naani poem you have penned for the writing prompt. You used very good descriptive words and very interesting imagery from the art work you chose. Thanks for sharing. Teri

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
    Thank you so much, Teri!!
Comment from Patty Palmer
Excellent
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If this kind of poem deals with human relations and current statements then your poem fits the bill. From your words I get it's about an older gentleman who has been sent to a nursing home, and he's feeling lonely and forgotten. The place isn't bright and the light grows dim. The shadows on the wall show the peeling old paint. The musty smell of exhaustion can be smelled throughout the room.
great jobs, I worked in nursing homes and they could be pretty bad.
Patty

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
    Thanks so much, Patty!!
Comment from Jarvis Popovich
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Boy you really know how to bring someone up ;) just kidding. It was a brilliant piece of work. A nice poster. The image is perfect for this poem.

Thank you for writing and sharing.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
    Hello Jarvis, thank you so much for your lovely review!! :)
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
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There is a sadness to this Naani poem from the artwork you chose to the very last line. I have never written a naani so I'm not familiar with the requirements but I think you have done a wonderful job with this one.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
    Thank you much Janet. :)

Comment from E. Denison
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very strong work here, mystery writer. You do very well to break the lines in natural places, which allows for the poem to have an incredibly smooth read without a rhyme structure. Really well done. Thank you for sharing - best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
    Thank you very much!
Comment from June Sargent
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a sad and poignant piece that highlights the lack of real connection in the world these days. Covid did not help! Our lives can just gather dust from lack of interest as we slowly disappear into a state of stale malaise. Well said,

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
    Thank you June.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
    Thank you June.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
    Thank you June.