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Betrayal

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Betrayal Chapter 43"
In the title.

37 total reviews 
Comment from DSchlosser
Excellent
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The mother and Colin in this book remind me of the mother and son in the movie Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's the mother's action in the movie and how vile she is that brings me a vision of the lady in the movie for constantly scheming and doing some of the dirty work herself. A good chapter and I didn't see any errors on this one either.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
    I loved that film! Yes, I think you can say Grant's mother is very much like her. I'd not thought of that before. Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Excellent
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The satisfaction that Grant feels is rife throughout your summary of the plot that Colin and his mother had planned. The just desserts are well deserved and Grant should take full credit for the ending as well as being pleased with his new love.

Ralf

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
    He most certainly is, Ralf, and she is a happy bunny, too!! Thank you for another wonderful review, my friend. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Jeff Watkins
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a well crafted story, but I do have some suggestions:
1. Re: With his memory still as sharp as ever.., It was exactly the same.... Redundant.
2. Re: You were right...Not immediately clear who is speaking.
3. Although not a regular speaker, the butler....The butler is not a regular speaker?

Perhaps it is just me, but I get impatient with the lengthy effort to extract Gladys's secret. But that may be just my personality. Other mystery writers use this same technique, and my reaction is always the same--impatience.
Wishing you great success, Jeff

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
    Hi Jeff, thank you so much for your helpful review, and the golden sixth star. That was so kind of you. I agreed with both 1 and 2 of your suggestions, and have taken out that part of the sentence in the first point. It was redundant. The second suggestion was an unintentional error, I did a quick edit and didn't take 'Lorna' out. Now it's perfectly clear that it's Reg who is speaking.
    The third point, I think you might have read that wrong. It doesn't say, 'speaking', it's 'visitor'....
    Although not a regular visitor, the butler recognised Grant and stood aside to let him in. 
    I can also understand you impatience. I'll be doing a massive edit when the book is finished and will be taking out the fluff. I'm delighted you thought my story is well crafted, that is quite a compliment, and I'm also pleased that you stopped by and gave me your thoughts. Thank you! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by Jeff Watkins on 05-Aug-2021
    Thank you for your reply to my reply. You missed my point regarding the butler. The sentence is ungrammatical. Grammatically speaking, the introductory phrase (Although....) refers to the butler. However, I think you mean to say that Grant is not the regular visitor. Surely the butler is not a visitor, irregular or otherwise? Am I right?
Comment from Carlos' girl
Excellent
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Your chapter is really wonderful to read. It flows so very easily and I enjoy the differences which reflect your uk english origins. It is flawlessly written. The story is quite engaging as well

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
    What a lovely review, thank you so very much, Carlos' girl. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Warm hugs! :)) Sandra xx
reply by Carlos' girl on 05-Aug-2021
    Thanks for the hugs!
Comment from Gretchen Keefer
Excellent
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This is the first chapter I have read, but I can get a good sense of the problems the characters have had. Great job filling the reader in on the events wrapping up so far. Nice touch to provide for Gladys - makes Grant more of a positive protagonist. Needs a bit more description of how and why Reg and Grant are sitting in the car. Does Reg have a listening device when Grant goes in the house? Will Grant need a witness to the events he is expecting to have unfold?

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
    Hi, Gretchen, thank you so much for reading this part. I'm afraid you've come in almost at the end of the book so the answers to your questions have already been explained. I'm really pleased you enjoyed this part, though, that is most encouraging. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
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Oh ! I was waiting to read the expression on her face when she faces grant .but you are making us wait!!
Loved it .Things are moving fast and now the woman soon will land up in jail...

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
    That is coming up! I'm afraid Colin and Marilyn are in for a big shock! Thank you so much, Sanku, for this really lovely review. It's nice to know you are enjoying this story. Not many more parts to write now! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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It will be very exciting to see what happens in the next chapter....I sure hope nothing will go wrong. Reading your story sure has brought some excitement to the readers.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2021
    What a really lovely thing to say, Rosemary! I don't think I could have wished for a better review than this one. Thank you so much! My day has started with a big smile. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment from Janilou
Excellent
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At Chapter 43 I'm not even going to begin to pretend I understand what's going on, but hey, it reads well and I found no errors or nits to bring to your attention. Fascinating tension in the scene when Grant goes to see Gladys!
All the very best with this book.
Jan

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
    Thank you for reading this part, even though you have no idea what's happening!! LOL. It was still so kind of you. It's almost finished now. Thanks, Jan. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Sandra,
Everything seems to be coming to an excellent conclusion.
He handled the situation with Gladys perfectly.
Tania certainly has a good effect on him.
Perhaps he could triple my salary, or my pension, or both. LOL.

And now for the big reveal. I think everyone wants to see Marilyn get her due.
Not to mention Colin.
Well done.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Robert



 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
    I've sent him a begging letter, LOL. All I want is some of his petty cash, you know, not a lot. I'm not greedy. I can get by with a couple of million.
    I've never known such interest in one of my characters. Everyone is waiting for Marilyn to get her comeuppance, even more than Rapier and Colin! I'm so pleased about that. :))

    Thank you so much for this lovely review, Robert, and the Olympic Gold Star! It won't be finishing next week now -- not quite. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from l.raven
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Sandra, Oh I have got to get a boyfriend like Grant...
they don't make them like that anymore...times have turned for the worse...sigh...

but that is what is so wonderful about reading...you can live all your dreams...go anywhere you want to...and anything else you want...just from reading...

now I wasn't to far off from being right...Glady's left because they threaten her with her sister...but I wouldn't have guessed she was to informer...but she was between and rock and a hard place...so she's forgiven...

but you stopped just a bit to soon...and what's new...
I would have prefer Grant walked over and bunched the Troll out cold...and went over to Cruella and just put a...well...choke hold on her until the police arrived...
but you always tend to fall short of just that...a little bit more information...but I forgive you...I've seem your muse...

I'm so glad to know who the informer is...but I hate to see Glady's retire...they are more like family...

and now lets see what happens to the Troll and Cruella...
this is an awesome chapter my amazing friend...one of your best...very well written story you...a great attention holder...now lets get Grant and Tania married with children...

and The Troll and Cruella in prison...or let them escape...and we have book 2...this is so exciting...
love you too pieces beautiful girl...Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
    Oh, you do make me laugh my socks off, Linda! I showed Graham your review, especially the part about book 2. I'm humming and harring about that. Could I keep the readers interest?

    No, Cruella is not going to escape, her fingernails would be all split and dirty if she attempted to dig a tunnel!! Lol.

    Thank you so much my dear friend, your reviews are always so amazing. And thank you for that Olympic Gold star you've given it, doesn't it look lovely up there??

    Sending a mountain of love and hugs, dear friend. Keep that smile going, and take care of you. :) Sandra xxxx

    If I could send you Grant, I would, but Tania would gouge out my eyes! Okay, I'm working hard at getting Tania and Grant together permenantly, but it's such hard work! I'm getting there, though, so don't you go worrying about it. 😂
reply by l.raven on 03-Aug-2021
    Sandra, you have NO problem holding a
    audience with your stories sweet girl...

    a lot of people on this site don't read the stories...they just read poetry...and that's fine...but the ones who do read stories...you hold their attention...

    let Cruella escape...she can go get a good
    pedicure when she gets out...I'm sure she has hidden money somewhere...no matter what you come up with you...it will be a winner...a six star winner...you have the touch...Hi to Graham for me... bunches of hugs and love flying your way...smiling big back at you...xxoo