Leaves
a 5-7-5 poetic form9 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Like your poem. I could visualize the leaves rustling and skipping in the breeze. It is soon August and the pile of leaves will soon be here for raking. I love fall, but I don't know about you, winter is not a favorite.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Like your poem. I could visualize the leaves rustling and skipping in the breeze. It is soon August and the pile of leaves will soon be here for raking. I love fall, but I don't know about you, winter is not a favorite.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Thanks so much Rosemary.
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5 ode to autumn, Leaves, has the proper formatting and brings the suttle sounds of air moving crisp leaves across the leafy ground. Nice.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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This 5-7-5 ode to autumn, Leaves, has the proper formatting and brings the suttle sounds of air moving crisp leaves across the leafy ground. Nice.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Thanks so much Bill!!
Comment from Patty Palmer
I like the choice of wording in the beginning, tendrils of crisp air gust puts the picture of swirling leaves. The picture greatly enhances your poem. Good luck with the co test.
Patty
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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I like the choice of wording in the beginning, tendrils of crisp air gust puts the picture of swirling leaves. The picture greatly enhances your poem. Good luck with the co test.
Patty
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Thanks so much Patty!!
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You're welcome!
Patty
Comment from dragonpoet
Melissa,
I like this poetic description of leaves moving in the wind. The personification in the last line is a good use of metaphor and sound.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Melissa,
I like this poetic description of leaves moving in the wind. The personification in the last line is a good use of metaphor and sound.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thanks so much Joan!!
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You are most kindly welcome.
Joan
Comment from lancellot
Very good. I like that you have different elements in each line to mark the season from different views. The first line shows the ushering in of winter in the air that marks fall. The second shows the effects of Autumn upon the trees and the last ties into the second with a person enjoying skipping through the fallen leaves.
Good job.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Very good. I like that you have different elements in each line to mark the season from different views. The first line shows the ushering in of winter in the air that marks fall. The second shows the effects of Autumn upon the trees and the last ties into the second with a person enjoying skipping through the fallen leaves.
Good job.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thanks so very much!! I closed my eyes as I wrote it and imagined the sound of the leaves rustling, but thought skipping added better color to the thought. :)
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
This is very beautiful and unique 5-7-5!
I like how you've set up the reader for your last line. The word "tendrils" is great to describe the crip air.
I love your last line.
I can hear the leaves skipping. I also thought of children skipping through the leaves.
Bravo poet and good luck in the contest!
Katiemae Dead
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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This is very beautiful and unique 5-7-5!
I like how you've set up the reader for your last line. The word "tendrils" is great to describe the crip air.
I love your last line.
I can hear the leaves skipping. I also thought of children skipping through the leaves.
Bravo poet and good luck in the contest!
Katiemae Dead
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Oh Katie Mae, you have been so gracious and have made my day with your wonderful comments ! Hugs and thanks.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I like this a lot and the lovely picture certainly adds to it. Skipping through the crackling leaves is a great image. Best of luck in the contest, this is a really good poem.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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I like this a lot and the lovely picture certainly adds to it. Skipping through the crackling leaves is a great image. Best of luck in the contest, this is a really good poem.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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Thank you very much Carol!!
Comment from Sally Law
This is so beautiful and captures the essence of Autumn. Crisp air and skipping through the fallen leaves! I wish it were today!
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sally :))
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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This is so beautiful and captures the essence of Autumn. Crisp air and skipping through the fallen leaves! I wish it were today!
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sally :))
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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Thank you Sally
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Glorious! This may be a winner--fresh and vivid imagery--not a trite word. Sugg: to take this over the top--find a substitute for THE--make each word pack a punch, especially in a 5-7-5.
OR REWORK THE LINE: sugg: susurrating skip (see below)
https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/278616/a-word-phrase-describing-the-sound-of-leaves
susurrate, meaning to rustle, murmur or whisper=
sugg: susurrating skip
https://www.google.com/search?q=skip+definition
NOTE; skip can be a noun:
a light, bouncing step; a skipping movement.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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Glorious! This may be a winner--fresh and vivid imagery--not a trite word. Sugg: to take this over the top--find a substitute for THE--make each word pack a punch, especially in a 5-7-5.
OR REWORK THE LINE: sugg: susurrating skip (see below)
https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/278616/a-word-phrase-describing-the-sound-of-leaves
susurrate, meaning to rustle, murmur or whisper=
sugg: susurrating skip
https://www.google.com/search?q=skip+definition
NOTE; skip can be a noun:
a light, bouncing step; a skipping movement.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
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Thanks so much Liz!!! Love your suggestions. Will relook at it.
