One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Destitute"Gypsy's Favorites
14 total reviews
Comment from Senyai
Hi Gypsy,
Oooh, loving this soft gray poem but can feel the destitution of your superbly written lines. Life's inequities are stark and overwhelming and for some that's all they know. It is for those who care, to lift them up with charity giving them the tools, so they can provide themselves with a good life. It is much more meaningful than just a handout.
If you are speaking of destitution of the spirit then I feel this too from your words. Very well spoken and you captured the mood perfectly.
I didn't realize the American cinquain is inspired by the Japanese haiku and tanka, is akin in spirit to that of the *Imagists....I will look into that and check out your club events as well.
Always,
Senyai
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2021
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Hi Gypsy,
Oooh, loving this soft gray poem but can feel the destitution of your superbly written lines. Life's inequities are stark and overwhelming and for some that's all they know. It is for those who care, to lift them up with charity giving them the tools, so they can provide themselves with a good life. It is much more meaningful than just a handout.
If you are speaking of destitution of the spirit then I feel this too from your words. Very well spoken and you captured the mood perfectly.
I didn't realize the American cinquain is inspired by the Japanese haiku and tanka, is akin in spirit to that of the *Imagists....I will look into that and check out your club events as well.
Always,
Senyai
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2021
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Yeah, it's great. I love all kinds of short poems. You can more information here.... click here
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem, Senyai.
Gypsy hugs
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Thanks, Gypsy :))
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well cinquain that well deserved it's third place finish in the contest.
It uses go pod imagery and metaphors
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2021
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This is a well cinquain that well deserved it's third place finish in the contest.
It uses go pod imagery and metaphors
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
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Don't mention it, Gypsy.
Joan
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Gypsy--Congratulations on your prize for this elegant verse--each phrase packs a punch--a fine example of a cinquain. Glad I caught up to it! Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021
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Gypsy--Congratulations on your prize for this elegant verse--each phrase packs a punch--a fine example of a cinquain. Glad I caught up to it! Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 22-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words, Liz. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from karenina
Impactful verse! So many write cinquains in light and airy themes! You show how powerful a form it can be... Abundantly effective imagery! Congrats on taking third place!
Karenina
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Impactful verse! So many write cinquains in light and airy themes! You show how powerful a form it can be... Abundantly effective imagery! Congrats on taking third place!
Karenina
Comment Written 21-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much, Karenina. I didn't even know I won. LoL you are very kind.
Gypsy hugs
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LOL. Lucky me, I happened dpon the home page just moments after the winners were posted!
Great job!
K
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Thank you, sweetie pie
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Welcome! I'm rarely the first to get to say congratulations..it was a kick for me!
Karenina
Comment from kahpot
How powerfully you have described this word in so few words, "morning" to me has this great double meaning in this excellent work, very, very well written an excellent read****kahpot
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2021
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How powerfully you have described this word in so few words, "morning" to me has this great double meaning in this excellent work, very, very well written an excellent read****kahpot
Comment Written 20-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2021
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Thank you very much, Kym, for your review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Teri7
Gypsy, This is a very nice and well written American Cinquain you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words and very nice imagery. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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Gypsy, This is a very nice and well written American Cinquain you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words and very nice imagery. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 19-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
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you are so welcome. love and blessings, Teri
Comment from Janetsue
This is a very timely posting in light of the Afghanistan tragedies. It is horrible to know that life has absolutely zero importance to so many ruthless people. Destitute is the perfect word for the plight of the innocent people being slaughtered. Thank you for sharing this well-written cinquain. Best wishes in the contest! --Janet
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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This is a very timely posting in light of the Afghanistan tragedies. It is horrible to know that life has absolutely zero importance to so many ruthless people. Destitute is the perfect word for the plight of the innocent people being slaughtered. Thank you for sharing this well-written cinquain. Best wishes in the contest! --Janet
Comment Written 19-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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You are right in saying Afghanistan is going through a horrible time. I hope we can get as many people as we can. I didn't have it in mind but it makes sense. Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Given my background with being destitute, this poem resonated with me and I felt in my bones the images that you presented. As usual, well done poem!!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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Given my background with being destitute, this poem resonated with me and I felt in my bones the images that you presented. As usual, well done poem!!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.... Theodore.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
This is really fabulous Gypsy. You did an exceptional job with this challenging form. I remember trying to write one once. It was very difficult for me.
Your 2,4,6 lines are my favorite and really set a mood and paint a picture.
The placement of your final 2 hits home.
Now you've got me wanting to write one..
Great write!
Katiemae Dead
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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This is really fabulous Gypsy. You did an exceptional job with this challenging form. I remember trying to write one once. It was very difficult for me.
Your 2,4,6 lines are my favorite and really set a mood and paint a picture.
The placement of your final 2 hits home.
Now you've got me wanting to write one..
Great write!
Katiemae Dead
Comment Written 19-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2021
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I hope you write one. I know you can do it. I'm thinking using it for our next japanese poetry event. Even though is not from Japan, the poet who created the American cinquain wrote a lot of haiku and tanka and she saw the relation of the forms. It's very interesting. I wish I was teaching again.
Thank you very much for your exceptional review and six stars!
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This Cinquain flows very well and you did a great job painting with words a bleak picture of the reality of inequality. Yes. It can move people in tears.
The presentation is great as usual.
Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
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This Cinquain flows very well and you did a great job painting with words a bleak picture of the reality of inequality. Yes. It can move people in tears.
The presentation is great as usual.
Well done.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review and feedback, Lisa...you are very kind.
Gypsy hugs
