Before the Flood
An outtake from the familiar story.39 total reviews
Comment from Senyai
Hi Humpwhistle (Lee)
This is simply delicious! Love the Yiddish spiders LOL! It does enhance the dialogue a lot and yes, I appreciated the definitions for the Yiddish words - didn't know any of 'em :))
" "No, Fred, I mean, what if it really starts to come down, you know, like . . . Biblical proportions?"
"What's Biblical proportions?"
"I'm not sure. Just something I read in the brochure, I suppose. But it sounds bad."
"I'll make a deal with you. At the first sign of a puddle in the desert, we'll stow away on Noah's ark."
"You think we'll be able to?"
"Hey, we're spiders, no? We're stowaways by nature."
"I guess. But we won't have our own stateroom, or mini-bar."
"Mini-bar, schmini-bar. So, we'll commandeer a human's bathtub . . . or bedroom slipper. Can you imagine? Sheesh, such screaming!" Hahahahhaha!
If I had a six, it would definitely be yours!
Have a great week,
Senyai
  |
Hi Humpwhistle (Lee)
This is simply delicious! Love the Yiddish spiders LOL! It does enhance the dialogue a lot and yes, I appreciated the definitions for the Yiddish words - didn't know any of 'em :))
" "No, Fred, I mean, what if it really starts to come down, you know, like . . . Biblical proportions?"
"What's Biblical proportions?"
"I'm not sure. Just something I read in the brochure, I suppose. But it sounds bad."
"I'll make a deal with you. At the first sign of a puddle in the desert, we'll stow away on Noah's ark."
"You think we'll be able to?"
"Hey, we're spiders, no? We're stowaways by nature."
"I guess. But we won't have our own stateroom, or mini-bar."
"Mini-bar, schmini-bar. So, we'll commandeer a human's bathtub . . . or bedroom slipper. Can you imagine? Sheesh, such screaming!" Hahahahhaha!
If I had a six, it would definitely be yours!
Have a great week,
Senyai
Comment Written 08-Sep-2021
Comment from LJbutterfly
Oh no! I hope Fred and Gert stay in line to make sure they get on the boat. Hahaha! This is one of the most imaginative and funniest pieces I've read in a long time. From "Forty luxurious days, and forty romantic nights. Just you and me," to Noah with Doppler," to "Smell-A-Pig is all booked up." I laughed all the way through this story. Amazing.
|
Oh no! I hope Fred and Gert stay in line to make sure they get on the boat. Hahaha! This is one of the most imaginative and funniest pieces I've read in a long time. From "Forty luxurious days, and forty romantic nights. Just you and me," to Noah with Doppler," to "Smell-A-Pig is all booked up." I laughed all the way through this story. Amazing.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from tfawcus
Without making it obvious, you've managed to make the meaning of each one of those Yiddish words clear from the context. That's what I call good writing!
Of course, you have me in stitches with your way of describing things. The Free Falling Feces Zone will stay with me for a while.
I couldn't help thinking of Air Marshall Dowding's remark in the Battle of Britain film, when I read
What, he's got Doppler?"
"He's got God."
His comment was "I do not plan to trust in radar and pray to God. I plan to trust in God and pray for radar"!
|
Without making it obvious, you've managed to make the meaning of each one of those Yiddish words clear from the context. That's what I call good writing!
Of course, you have me in stitches with your way of describing things. The Free Falling Feces Zone will stay with me for a while.
I couldn't help thinking of Air Marshall Dowding's remark in the Battle of Britain film, when I read
What, he's got Doppler?"
"He's got God."
His comment was "I do not plan to trust in radar and pray to God. I plan to trust in God and pray for radar"!
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from Janetsue
This is a very original concept and funny all the way through. It felt as though those spiders were actually having a real conversation. They definitely had the husband and wife type of banter down pat.
|
This is a very original concept and funny all the way through. It felt as though those spiders were actually having a real conversation. They definitely had the husband and wife type of banter down pat.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am absolutely positive that the brown recluse that crawled inside my slipper a few weeks ago and bit me on the top of my right foot was spoke Yiddish why not. The few choice words I had for it were not Yiddish, I can promise you that. The bite is still causing me issues.
That being said, I did enjoy reading your post, as I always do, even though your main characters were spiders, at least they weren't snakes. LOL
|
I am absolutely positive that the brown recluse that crawled inside my slipper a few weeks ago and bit me on the top of my right foot was spoke Yiddish why not. The few choice words I had for it were not Yiddish, I can promise you that. The bite is still causing me issues.
That being said, I did enjoy reading your post, as I always do, even though your main characters were spiders, at least they weren't snakes. LOL
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Do you want to hear something funny? I seemed to know what those words were saying as I read the story. This is a hoot, Lee. I for one wish they had missed the boat. Spiders and snakes we could live without. Well done. Nancy:)
|
Do you want to hear something funny? I seemed to know what those words were saying as I read the story. This is a hoot, Lee. I for one wish they had missed the boat. Spiders and snakes we could live without. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from royowen
Of course as you may well know, if Noah and his family are our ancestors, and I'm not Jewish, in a sense if they are the only survivors of the flood, then we are all Jews. This is a little too dark for me. Blessings Roy
|
Of course as you may well know, if Noah and his family are our ancestors, and I'm not Jewish, in a sense if they are the only survivors of the flood, then we are all Jews. This is a little too dark for me. Blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from Jeff Watkins
hump, I should be paying you for the privilege of reading this dialogue. Surely it can be published in.....The Atlantic? Or some other mag that will pay you oodles of money. I worship Farside and love Tundra. Mixing humans with other species inspires us to look at ourselves and laugh. You also mix insect species--an inspiration that creates a perspective I hadn't seen before. I am referring to the biting off of the head.
I have always been fascinated by the mating behavior of animals. Kangaroo males screw until they drop and then another one takes over the duty. They pinch or scratch the females rear to check to see if she is in the mood. After mating, male tigers are still disarmed by the charm of the female, but if they don't immediately get out of the territory of the female, she will kill him, and he is unable to fight back. Somewhere is a book about animal mating habits. I read it long ago. It could provide endless fodder for a man of your talents.
Finally, some friends of mine had a small ,elderly dog, Buster. Buster was too crippled by arthritis to leave his yard, with one exception: Two blocks away there was a beautiful, female golden retriever in heat. She was confined behind a wooden fence. Buster would lay down outside the fence with his head between his paws and pray for an opportunity to make love to her. Climb every mountain.... Jeff
 |
hump, I should be paying you for the privilege of reading this dialogue. Surely it can be published in.....The Atlantic? Or some other mag that will pay you oodles of money. I worship Farside and love Tundra. Mixing humans with other species inspires us to look at ourselves and laugh. You also mix insect species--an inspiration that creates a perspective I hadn't seen before. I am referring to the biting off of the head.
I have always been fascinated by the mating behavior of animals. Kangaroo males screw until they drop and then another one takes over the duty. They pinch or scratch the females rear to check to see if she is in the mood. After mating, male tigers are still disarmed by the charm of the female, but if they don't immediately get out of the territory of the female, she will kill him, and he is unable to fight back. Somewhere is a book about animal mating habits. I read it long ago. It could provide endless fodder for a man of your talents.
Finally, some friends of mine had a small ,elderly dog, Buster. Buster was too crippled by arthritis to leave his yard, with one exception: Two blocks away there was a beautiful, female golden retriever in heat. She was confined behind a wooden fence. Buster would lay down outside the fence with his head between his paws and pray for an opportunity to make love to her. Climb every mountain.... Jeff
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from Susan Newell
Lee,
This was a good humorous read. I liked the Yiddish-speaking spiders, and the spider's-eye view of the production. I really chuckled over the mention of a razor. I wish I could have seen the brochure for the romantic voyage. I believe "stowaway" is a noun and the verb form is "stow away." Great job as always.
|
Lee,
This was a good humorous read. I liked the Yiddish-speaking spiders, and the spider's-eye view of the production. I really chuckled over the mention of a razor. I wish I could have seen the brochure for the romantic voyage. I believe "stowaway" is a noun and the verb form is "stow away." Great job as always.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Your attribution of yiddishness on the spiders was inspired. It didn't just make the dialogue more colourful, but integrated them much more fully into the world of your up-market ark. My absolutely favourite words were the definition of Noah as an acronym. That one really had me laughing out loud. Thanks for a great read. Kate xx
PS why aren't you putting it in a dialogue only contest? it's a winner
|
Your attribution of yiddishness on the spiders was inspired. It didn't just make the dialogue more colourful, but integrated them much more fully into the world of your up-market ark. My absolutely favourite words were the definition of Noah as an acronym. That one really had me laughing out loud. Thanks for a great read. Kate xx
PS why aren't you putting it in a dialogue only contest? it's a winner
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
