The Assassins Day Off
Even Assassins need a day off27 total reviews
Comment from lucky linda
I was so invested in your story, I forgot to look for errors.
<> came as a startling reveal.
Readers will eat this up. Awaiting your next chapter with baited breath.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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I was so invested in your story, I forgot to look for errors.
<
Readers will eat this up. Awaiting your next chapter with baited breath.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank you for reviewing my story and I am glad you enjoyed it. You have actually given me food for thought about doing up a series of adventures of Jude . I could release them bit by bit.
Take care and thanks again
Comment from rockinm76233
enjoyed the story with a twist. I guess everything, everywhere, needs a day off ever now and again. Thank you for sharing. Good job. well I've got to add more words before they send so again, good job.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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enjoyed the story with a twist. I guess everything, everywhere, needs a day off ever now and again. Thank you for sharing. Good job. well I've got to add more words before they send so again, good job.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much for reviewing my story. Yes , I agree everybody does deserve a day off. Have a good day and take care.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Horror and Thriller Fiction, Assassinate Me A Thriller! writing prompt entry, speaks even the assassins sometime need a day off for their performance, so the tale goes on accordingly; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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This Horror and Thriller Fiction, Assassinate Me A Thriller! writing prompt entry, speaks even the assassins sometime need a day off for their performance, so the tale goes on accordingly; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thanks for reviewing my story. I am glad you found it enjoyable.
Take care and have a great day.
Comment from JSMorrow
Great story, and a nice turn two-thirds of the way through. I think you have a good sense of suspense. I was wondering what would happen in the dining room. Thanks, and keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Great story, and a nice turn two-thirds of the way through. I think you have a good sense of suspense. I was wondering what would happen in the dining room. Thanks, and keep up the great work.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking time to review my story . I am glad that you enjoyed it and I did have a couple of versions what might happen in the end. Take Care
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed the punchline and the inventive nature of this write. Unfortunately paid assassins do exist in the world and are often very active, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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I enjoyed the punchline and the inventive nature of this write. Unfortunately paid assassins do exist in the world and are often very active, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking time to review my story . I am glad that you enjoyed it . Yes a little bit of a light hearted approach to a very serious topic. Please take care and keep up with that great poetry.
Cheers
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You are most welcome x
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've created an interesting short thriller here, Barry. It kept us worried until the end. Well done.
A couple of suggestions I hope you will find constructive:
1)"It was unlikely he would encounter trouble and he had already begun to relax and take a position at a window seat." - I would make this into two sentences for clarity. End the first after 'relax' and then say, He took a position at the window seat.
2)Too late to call his daughter and he slid his right hand underneath his shirt." - replace 'the' with a comma.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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You've created an interesting short thriller here, Barry. It kept us worried until the end. Well done.
A couple of suggestions I hope you will find constructive:
1)"It was unlikely he would encounter trouble and he had already begun to relax and take a position at a window seat." - I would make this into two sentences for clarity. End the first after 'relax' and then say, He took a position at the window seat.
2)Too late to call his daughter and he slid his right hand underneath his shirt." - replace 'the' with a comma.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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Judy thanks for your Review of my story. In addition, I thank you for your handy hints and suggestions. They are certainly constructive.
Please take care.
I can now tell you the story came in 2nd.
Cheers.
Barry Penfold
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Congratulations!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant! Stunning tale with a startling twist--ingenious choice of plot--this is unique for sure--you may have a winner here. Masterfully narrated--taut, spot-on!
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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Brilliant! Stunning tale with a startling twist--ingenious choice of plot--this is unique for sure--you may have a winner here. Masterfully narrated--taut, spot-on!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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Elizabeth, Thank you for reviewing my story. You have made my day reading your words. I recently viewed your successes with the pen and wow you have had some wonderful results.
I can now reveal to you that I came in 2nd and received a Recognition for the story.
Please stay safe.
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Congrats! Not surprised!
Comment from royowen
I think you wrote an extremely good plot here, indeed, at least in the films I've seen, assassins indeed are engaged to kill one another, (l wonder what the mortality rate of a killer would be) but this is a great entry in this contest, and it certainly sucks one in, a rather brilliant post. Good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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I think you wrote an extremely good plot here, indeed, at least in the films I've seen, assassins indeed are engaged to kill one another, (l wonder what the mortality rate of a killer would be) but this is a great entry in this contest, and it certainly sucks one in, a rather brilliant post. Good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Thanks Roy. Really appreciate you taking the time to review this story. Actually ,can now tell you that it ran in second in the contest. Yes would be interesting to discover their mortality rate. I think it would be high.
Keep safe and I hope the family is well.
Regards
Barry
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Well done Barry, good job, blessings Roy
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is very creative. An Assassin can take a day off because the other two are taking the day off. But how can he believe them? It might be a trick to disarm him. I think he should be ready anytime, especially when his daughter arrives.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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This is very creative. An Assassin can take a day off because the other two are taking the day off. But how can he believe them? It might be a trick to disarm him. I think he should be ready anytime, especially when his daughter arrives.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Lisa, thanks for taking the time to review my story. I like your little twist. I prefer to think that their might be some honor between Assassins. Take Care.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Whenever did things remain calm in a bar. This could serve as a good foreshadowing: "His first step into the Public Bar did not reveal anything unusual. It was unlikely he would encounter trouble and he had already begun to relax and take a position at a window seat." This had a nice twist to it. It was not one the reader could predict. Well done
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Whenever did things remain calm in a bar. This could serve as a good foreshadowing: "His first step into the Public Bar did not reveal anything unusual. It was unlikely he would encounter trouble and he had already begun to relax and take a position at a window seat." This had a nice twist to it. It was not one the reader could predict. Well done
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Liz, thanks for your review and I am glad you enjoyed the story.
I hope you have a good day and Take Care.