An Innocence Lost
Not all assassins live by a strict code.6 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Even with the word count requirements, you did a fine job. In that little time you were able to develop strong characters who made the plot possible. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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Even with the word count requirements, you did a fine job. In that little time you were able to develop strong characters who made the plot possible. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from RodG
One does not often read about compassionate assassins. Your story is well-crafted and the events are believable. One hopes Tommy is mature enough to listen to the narrator. This story earned my vote.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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One does not often read about compassionate assassins. Your story is well-crafted and the events are believable. One hopes Tommy is mature enough to listen to the narrator. This story earned my vote.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from Bonnie Seach
Shock waves waft through this sad story.
As the author deliberates, "we don't need more killers in the world," This work is well structured, well formatted and visually well presented. The words are well chosen and descriptive. The story lingers in one's mind, and invites the reader to look for more works by this author. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes for the contest
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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Shock waves waft through this sad story.
As the author deliberates, "we don't need more killers in the world," This work is well structured, well formatted and visually well presented. The words are well chosen and descriptive. The story lingers in one's mind, and invites the reader to look for more works by this author. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes for the contest
Comment Written 05-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from writer723
I very much enjoyed reading your excellent story. It really drew me in and captured my attention from start to finish. I found myself rooting for the main character all the way and wishing the best for the individual. Your depiction of this situation was quite emotional and touching to me. Your descriptive skills are exceptional and you express yourself very well.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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I very much enjoyed reading your excellent story. It really drew me in and captured my attention from start to finish. I found myself rooting for the main character all the way and wishing the best for the individual. Your depiction of this situation was quite emotional and touching to me. Your descriptive skills are exceptional and you express yourself very well.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your review and kind comments.
Comment from SHABAMO
This was a great flash fiction in the area of assassination. I like the way you turned it into a tragedy, instead of a glorification of a killer, no matter for what cause. This definitely prompted thoughts and introspection. Hope you do great in the contest!
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2021
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This was a great flash fiction in the area of assassination. I like the way you turned it into a tragedy, instead of a glorification of a killer, no matter for what cause. This definitely prompted thoughts and introspection. Hope you do great in the contest!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2021
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Thanks for the review and six star rating.
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow! That was a nail-biter! You kept the tension at a high level throughout. This was enhanced by astute characterization. You captured the boy's innocence and the assassin's compassion (with the irony attached to the latter as a bonus for the reader).
'Assassin Killed by Accident'. [As with the regular quote, the punctuation belongs inside the quote mark. Either that, or leave off the punctuation for it in lieu of italicizing.]
Keeping my voice calm but firm, "Mr. Jenson, stay still," my Glock still pointed in his direction. [If you don't mind a suggestion, consider rewording:
The shot was deafening in bedroom, but I felt no punch of impact. [... in THE bedroom (though where it is is implied. Don't know that it's necessary). But "punch of impact" redeems it all. Huzzah!]
Meets all the criteria of a thriller piece. This should do well, even walk away with the prize.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2021
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Wow! That was a nail-biter! You kept the tension at a high level throughout. This was enhanced by astute characterization. You captured the boy's innocence and the assassin's compassion (with the irony attached to the latter as a bonus for the reader).
'Assassin Killed by Accident'. [As with the regular quote, the punctuation belongs inside the quote mark. Either that, or leave off the punctuation for it in lieu of italicizing.]
Keeping my voice calm but firm, "Mr. Jenson, stay still," my Glock still pointed in his direction. [If you don't mind a suggestion, consider rewording:
The shot was deafening in bedroom, but I felt no punch of impact. [... in THE bedroom (though where it is is implied. Don't know that it's necessary). But "punch of impact" redeems it all. Huzzah!]
Meets all the criteria of a thriller piece. This should do well, even walk away with the prize.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2021
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Thanks for the review and corrections.
