Brian's book of poem's
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 " Cereal "poetry
2 total reviews
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Expand, dear one, expand. Tell us more :) how did it taste, what was the consistency of the cereal and milk, were you alone, where were your thoughts taking you, were you staring into space or out a window? Paint a picture for your readers.
I am NOT criticizing; these are suggestions. Your poem was giving me a craving for golden graham cereal. Use to love that stuff. You've got it in you, so play around with it and see where it goes. You CAN do it! I just know.
Hugs,
Gale
   |
Expand, dear one, expand. Tell us more :) how did it taste, what was the consistency of the cereal and milk, were you alone, where were your thoughts taking you, were you staring into space or out a window? Paint a picture for your readers.
I am NOT criticizing; these are suggestions. Your poem was giving me a craving for golden graham cereal. Use to love that stuff. You've got it in you, so play around with it and see where it goes. You CAN do it! I just know.
Hugs,
Gale
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
Comment from Giftedone.Eric Wallace .
Okay it was okay that's it you have me standing like I wanted a little bit more I wanted it to grab me it shook me but it didn't grab me but keep doing you sometimes that's what the contest called for so thanks
|
Okay it was okay that's it you have me standing like I wanted a little bit more I wanted it to grab me it shook me but it didn't grab me but keep doing you sometimes that's what the contest called for so thanks
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021