Sing the Body Electric*
We are as two ships -36 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
A superior poem in every way. I really enjoyed this and was greatly impressed with the vivid images you managed to create here. The wording is so beautifully poetic and the love and desire are oozing from every line. Congratulations on the second place ribbon. Most definitely deserved. MM.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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A superior poem in every way. I really enjoyed this and was greatly impressed with the vivid images you managed to create here. The wording is so beautifully poetic and the love and desire are oozing from every line. Congratulations on the second place ribbon. Most definitely deserved. MM.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Hi MissMerri,
Oh my! What a lovely review? you are such a great poet and I value your insight greatly. This is indeed an honor. The gift of six stars made my evening, too. Thank you.
Also , congratulations on your own win with your most beautiful and endearing Love Reborn. Reminded me of love cherished like fine wine after WWII in the time of my own parents :))
All the best to you :))
Senyai
Comment from SimianSavant
The connections you are making here are just plain brilliant, further illuminated by your extensive notes, stanzas crossing each other's bodies, and even with all that I likely missed some of your references. Not to mention your lyric flow making the work stand on its own in the way it interweaves these themes. Might recreating St. Elmo's fire without "protection" result, as for Louis Slotin, in a less than benign lightshow? Thanks for the great read.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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The connections you are making here are just plain brilliant, further illuminated by your extensive notes, stanzas crossing each other's bodies, and even with all that I likely missed some of your references. Not to mention your lyric flow making the work stand on its own in the way it interweaves these themes. Might recreating St. Elmo's fire without "protection" result, as for Louis Slotin, in a less than benign lightshow? Thanks for the great read.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Hi Harambe,
My, thank you kindly for this marvelous and complimentary review of my poem. I had to look up Louis Slotin and must say I was horrified that the young man of only 35 died of acute radiation poisoning after an accident with a demon core of 14 pounds of subcritical plutonium 3.5 in in diameter. He died a few days later. Tragic! It was?t the only accident involving the demon core which got its name after several deaths while tinkering with it. The 1940?s were crazy?infatuation with the awesome power of nuclear reactions and winning WWII made scientists obsessed with it?without knowing the full dangers of it yet. Beyond sad these young physicists lost their lives this way.
Don?t get me started ?sorry. Anyway, I enjoyed your thoughts on my crazy poem?. and much appreciate the six stars :))
Glad to meet you!
Always,
Senyai
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Yes I had to refresh myself as well on Wikipedia for the details this morning after seeing your St. Elmo's fire reference, which reminded me about it. It sounds like Enrico Firmi had warned Slotin and others that they would be dead within the year if they did not tone down their cavalier ways, but Slotin liked to flirt with danger and he paid a terrible price for it by using that screwdriver instead of the shims. He DID know the danger intellectually! Though clearly did not foresee the sort of suffering that would follow. Hence the nerdy STD joke, or maybe more of a philosophical question!
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Very sad to lose your life in this way. Devastating! Thanks again for the stellar review :))
Comment from Janetsue
This is an excellent entry in the Love Poem Poetry contest. The presentation is striking and the message describes a sizzling relationship. It is a great title, as well. I also appreciate the Authors Notes. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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This is an excellent entry in the Love Poem Poetry contest. The presentation is striking and the message describes a sizzling relationship. It is a great title, as well. I also appreciate the Authors Notes. Best wishes!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Hi Spangle,
Wonderful review and warm words on my poem! Thank you for that :))
So tickled you liked this one. I had fun writing it?do you think it needs a warning on it? I wasn?t sure?
Have a great rest of your weekend,
Senyai
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It is not explicitly graphic so I personally do not think it needs any kind of sexual warning. Also, the majority of the writing is not about the sexual act. Again, good luck in the contest. Smiles, Janet
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Thanks, Janet. Appreciate your input!
Senyai :))
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:-)
Comment from Boogienights
I love this poem! It's well written and I do appreciate the notes that give even deeper meaning to your words. I also sing the body electric(what a terrific line) and I sing the praises of this poem. :)
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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I love this poem! It's well written and I do appreciate the notes that give even deeper meaning to your words. I also sing the body electric(what a terrific line) and I sing the praises of this poem. :)
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Hi Boogienights,
So good to hear from you! I am beyond pleased you enjoyed this one, as I had fun writing it. Do you think it needs a warning on it?I threw it out there and opted not to, but not so sure?
Thank you for your input, always welcome.
Always,
Senyai
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It's perfect...no warning needed.
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Thank you!
Comment from Gloria ....
This is great Senyai. The opening stanza's final line creates such a strong image in my mind's eye.
So many modern and vivid images, and perfectly aligned for a surprising and delightful entry into the Love Poem contest.
Wishing you great luck with the Committee with this gem. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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This is great Senyai. The opening stanza's final line creates such a strong image in my mind's eye.
So many modern and vivid images, and perfectly aligned for a surprising and delightful entry into the Love Poem contest.
Wishing you great luck with the Committee with this gem. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Gloria,
I am overly ecstatic that you liked this crazy poem! I took a chance and threw it out there, not knowing how it would be perceived and if it warranted a warning or not. Do you think it requires one as is? Some commented that they they didn?t feel it did. Don?t know how the Committee feels though? oh well it is what it is and will stand as is.
Thank you for a wonderful review on this and of course the six stars is an added boon. I always value your input and love hearing from you :))
Thanks again,
Senyai
Comment from pookietoo
A lovely poem free verse poem about love. Keep writing great poems like this. I wish you lots of luck in this contest. Keep smiling and best wishes.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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A lovely poem free verse poem about love. Keep writing great poems like this. I wish you lots of luck in this contest. Keep smiling and best wishes.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Hi Pookietoo,
Thank you, my friend, for your sweet and encouraging review. I appreciate your input and must say I am always delighted to hear from you!
Have a great weekend,
Senyai
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You too
Comment from rspoet
Hello Lynn,
Your free verse reads so smoothly it almost feels like a rhymed poem.
and the quotation lines fit in very well.
The imagery is marvelous and tension of anticipation builds
right down to St Elmo's fire.
I'm not sure how the judge feel about using quotes,
but I give your poem six bolts of lightning.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Hello Lynn,
Your free verse reads so smoothly it almost feels like a rhymed poem.
and the quotation lines fit in very well.
The imagery is marvelous and tension of anticipation builds
right down to St Elmo's fire.
I'm not sure how the judge feel about using quotes,
but I give your poem six bolts of lightning.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Hi Robert,
Six bolts of lightening will do! :)) I love your review and thoughts on my unconventional poetry form. Should I leave off the quotation marks?
Didn?t know if this needed a warning or not but many said it really wasn?t necessary, so left it off. Hoping it was the right call.
I value your input as always and thank you for the heads up. Means so much!
Have a good weekend,
Senyai
Comment from Terry Broxson
Really good stuff. I am very old, but I do remember the fire! Frank Zappa and a poem is a first for me. Way to Go! Taking something from Longfellow and Whitman that is good stuff too! I also loved the way the finished the poem in a reverse pyramid. Great Job!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Really good stuff. I am very old, but I do remember the fire! Frank Zappa and a poem is a first for me. Way to Go! Taking something from Longfellow and Whitman that is good stuff too! I also loved the way the finished the poem in a reverse pyramid. Great Job!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Terry,
Thank you so much for your superb review! I am pleased you enjoyed my poem. Yes, I love Longfellow and Whitman, too so thought I would include them here? and Zappa, the rock god, oh!
My reverse pyramid was for emphasis without overstating. Thank you again for your encouragement and support, Terry :))
All the best to you,
Senyai
Comment from NANCY V. FORREST
I really appreciate the literary references that you incorporate in this piece. That you bring these into a modern day setting and show that they are still applicable.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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I really appreciate the literary references that you incorporate in this piece. That you bring these into a modern day setting and show that they are still applicable.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Hi Nancy,
Yes, I thought Longfellow and Whitman as well as Ray Bradbury and modern day artists Three Doors Down and rock god Frank Zappa needed a shout out too.
Thanks much for your good thoughts :))
Have a great weekend,
Senyai
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:-)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this love poem contest entry with us. I could feel the electricity as I read the poem. That's a sign the poem works. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Thank you for sharing this love poem contest entry with us. I could feel the electricity as I read the poem. That's a sign the poem works. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Barbara,
Your amazing thoughts are greatly appreciated and I am beyond pleased your felt the electricity in my poem. Made my day! Thanks for that :))
Have a great weekend,
Senyai
