Waiting
One of life's many decisions55 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
I like the originality and creativity of this one with its twist at the end. There is a certain irony about the lead-up as we automatically think of a relationship between humans, and there is a certain cynicism about whether it will last if he thinks like this. Very well written. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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I like the originality and creativity of this one with its twist at the end. There is a certain irony about the lead-up as we automatically think of a relationship between humans, and there is a certain cynicism about whether it will last if he thinks like this. Very well written. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Wendy. Good to hear from you.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. You had us fooled since this was a "love" poem contest, I was sure the important question was a proposal for marriage. But instead, it's a high pressured decision to buy a condo. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Lol. You had us fooled since this was a "love" poem contest, I was sure the important question was a proposal for marriage. But instead, it's a high pressured decision to buy a condo. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Helen. I guess condos are important. I wouldn't know.
Comment from SimianSavant
Brilliantly finished, so well that the reader wants to go back and reread the whole thing again to see if the narrative holds up with both interpretations -- and it does. Exactly the sort of stuff this site needs more of. Nice work.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Brilliantly finished, so well that the reader wants to go back and reread the whole thing again to see if the narrative holds up with both interpretations -- and it does. Exactly the sort of stuff this site needs more of. Nice work.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review and kind words. It's encouraging.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very cute and well written love poem you have penned for the writing prompt. You used very good and very interesting imagery. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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This is a very cute and well written love poem you have penned for the writing prompt. You used very good and very interesting imagery. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 22-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Teri. I love to share.
Comment from VJWild
This was a fun piece and I love the unexpected ending! Rhyme scheme and flow was right on. I liked the lines "a lifetime of commitment, well, at least a year or two..." Perfect! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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This was a fun piece and I love the unexpected ending! Rhyme scheme and flow was right on. I liked the lines "a lifetime of commitment, well, at least a year or two..." Perfect! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks, VJ. That line was one of the last ones that I wrote.
Comment from juliaSjames
Humourous twist at the end took me by surprise. But I think this qualifies as a love poem for our times. Sharing a mortgage is certainly putting one's money where one's mouth is.
Good luck in the prompt with this well written witty entry
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Humourous twist at the end took me by surprise. But I think this qualifies as a love poem for our times. Sharing a mortgage is certainly putting one's money where one's mouth is.
Good luck in the prompt with this well written witty entry
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 22-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Julia. Sharing a mortgage is also putting your money in someone else's pocket.
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Trust is everything in a relationship
Comment from Tina Crute
Funny! I wasn't expecting that ending. Great punch line. You did well expressing that there was a relationship and commitment issue...to a condo.
I think you'll do well in the contest.
Tina
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Funny! I wasn't expecting that ending. Great punch line. You did well expressing that there was a relationship and commitment issue...to a condo.
I think you'll do well in the contest.
Tina
Comment Written 22-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Tina. I can't wait to see if she commits.
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Haha! You're welcome!
She may soon be "engaged" to a condo!
Comment from J. Dennis
You are right when you wrote the last verse. The ending is humorous. It also is a suggestion that something will change if the lady drags her feet.
The poem is a love poem with a man using hints that should be considered. He is really a good catch.
It is a nice little poem with good rhymes and rhythms.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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You are right when you wrote the last verse. The ending is humorous. It also is a suggestion that something will change if the lady drags her feet.
The poem is a love poem with a man using hints that should be considered. He is really a good catch.
It is a nice little poem with good rhymes and rhythms.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review. I guess that guy is a good catch. If she's smart, she'll get a good man and a condo.
Comment from Janetsue
Love has many facets and relationships can have many layers. I enjoyed reading this and encountering the surprise ending. I think it is an excellent poem for the contest. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Love has many facets and relationships can have many layers. I enjoyed reading this and encountering the surprise ending. I think it is an excellent poem for the contest. Best wishes!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Spangle. Gotta peel the onion in those relationships.
Comment from Malerie
Very cleverly written...you nailed the challenge. Eash stanza really makes you think and the picture distorts the real deal, very clever to use the picture while talking about closing the deal on the house. Bravo, nicely done.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Very cleverly written...you nailed the challenge. Eash stanza really makes you think and the picture distorts the real deal, very clever to use the picture while talking about closing the deal on the house. Bravo, nicely done.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Malerie. I wonder if the couple are married.
