Watching Her Leave
A short narrative poem21 total reviews
Comment from Boogienights
This is very descriptive and rhymes beautifully, although there is a sense of sadness that permeates your words. I can almost see the ship leaving and then in turn being lost. This one seems like a winner, best of luck. :)
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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This is very descriptive and rhymes beautifully, although there is a sense of sadness that permeates your words. I can almost see the ship leaving and then in turn being lost. This one seems like a winner, best of luck. :)
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much, Boogienights, for your sharing and praising my poem. I confess I have never been to those old seaports in New England, but had fun stepping into the old man?s shoes. Rod
Comment from Paul McFarland
I thought the "Her" was a lover when I read the title, but with the picture, it became clear that the "Her" was the ship. Nice reference to Winslow Homer.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I thought the "Her" was a lover when I read the title, but with the picture, it became clear that the "Her" was the ship. Nice reference to Winslow Homer.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Paul, for sharing my poem. Although this artwork is not by Homer, I do like his work a lot. Rod
Comment from BethShelby
This is a beautiful rhyming poem and I enjoyed reading it. I think it did well in the contest. It those day it was dangerous to go out on ship. Too often that ship met with bad luck and never returned.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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This is a beautiful rhyming poem and I enjoyed reading it. I think it did well in the contest. It those day it was dangerous to go out on ship. Too often that ship met with bad luck and never returned.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for sharing and praising my poem, Beth. Indeed, in those days many ships went out but failed to come home. Rod
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You told a good story based on the art, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Your rhymes work well, the lines read smoothly, and they well chosen words create great imagery.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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You told a good story based on the art, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Your rhymes work well, the lines read smoothly, and they well chosen words create great imagery.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I am delighted you enjoyed my ekphrastic, Jan. Many thanks for sharing it and your praise. Rod
Comment from L. Kalere
I enjoyed your seafaring saga, with a compelling story that is matched very nicely with the image. Referring to Winslow Homer is spot on with the marine theme, and the daubs of paint... very creative. Well done. Best of luck in the contest.
Linda
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I enjoyed your seafaring saga, with a compelling story that is matched very nicely with the image. Referring to Winslow Homer is spot on with the marine theme, and the daubs of paint... very creative. Well done. Best of luck in the contest.
Linda
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I am so pleased you enjoyed my ekphrastic, Linda. I had fun interpreting the painting. Many thanks for your kind praise. Rod
Comment from June Sargent
This is a beautiful rhyming poem that tells a story based on fact. Here in New England ships were always endangered by unpredictable winds and weather. The famous widow's walk built around the roofs of homes in Salem, MA were where wives of sailors paced back and forth - waiting for their mates to return from sea. I enjoyed this poem.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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This is a beautiful rhyming poem that tells a story based on fact. Here in New England ships were always endangered by unpredictable winds and weather. The famous widow's walk built around the roofs of homes in Salem, MA were where wives of sailors paced back and forth - waiting for their mates to return from sea. I enjoyed this poem.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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I am so pleased you can relate to my poem so easily because of your background. Many thanks, June, for sharing, your kind praise, and those six bright stars.
Comment from Terry Broxson
A very nice entry for this contest, good luck. The picture you have chosen is excellent it helps with the imagery of the poem. The imagery is good, I think I can see that ship as it leaves, but I am hoping it is not doomed. Good job.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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A very nice entry for this contest, good luck. The picture you have chosen is excellent it helps with the imagery of the poem. The imagery is good, I think I can see that ship as it leaves, but I am hoping it is not doomed. Good job.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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I am delighted the imagery in my poem enables you to visualize the scene. Many thanks, Terry, for sharing.
Comment from Wendy G
A beautiful poem including both a narrative and very vivid description. The reader watches, and feels the same knot of fear. Lovely metre and rhyme, beautiful presentation. Best wishes for your excellent entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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A beautiful poem including both a narrative and very vivid description. The reader watches, and feels the same knot of fear. Lovely metre and rhyme, beautiful presentation. Best wishes for your excellent entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much, Wendy, for sharing my poem and your wonderful praise.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine rhyming poem about a doomed ship setting sail on the unpredictable ocean. I loved the sentiments, the rhymes and the meter. You just have one line that is out of meter here which may need adjusting. Here is a suggestion for you:
"while in Portsmouth a church bell knells".
"in Portsmouth where a church bell knells".
Much enjoyed,
Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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A fine rhyming poem about a doomed ship setting sail on the unpredictable ocean. I loved the sentiments, the rhymes and the meter. You just have one line that is out of meter here which may need adjusting. Here is a suggestion for you:
"while in Portsmouth a church bell knells".
"in Portsmouth where a church bell knells".
Much enjoyed,
Love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Dolly, very much for sharing and praising my poem. I like your suggestion and will examine that line.
Comment from lyenochka
Wonderful rhyming ekphrastic poem - and it even references the artist in the poem. I especially liked the "bobs on angry white-tipped swells
that rise and roll across the bay" which already gives us a sense of doom for the poor ship. And the church bell knells foreshadows what happens. Great use of personification of dawn. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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Wonderful rhyming ekphrastic poem - and it even references the artist in the poem. I especially liked the "bobs on angry white-tipped swells
that rise and roll across the bay" which already gives us a sense of doom for the poor ship. And the church bell knells foreshadows what happens. Great use of personification of dawn. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much, lyenochka, for this marvelous review. I really appreciate that you saw so much in my poem.
