Watching Her Leave
A short narrative poem21 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
' Watching Her Leave ' , is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a privilege to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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' Watching Her Leave ' , is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a privilege to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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I am delighted you enjoyed my latest posting, duchess. Many thanks for praising my poem.
Dear Anon, you certainly deserved the praise.
Bless you and have a great week,
the Duchess
Comment from Anne Johnston
Well written poem, great rhyming, a joy to read. I can imagine how the man and girl feel as they watch the ship sail out of sight on the restless sea. Perhaps someone they love dearly is on board, and who knows if they will return. Perfect picture to illustrate your poem.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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Well written poem, great rhyming, a joy to read. I can imagine how the man and girl feel as they watch the ship sail out of sight on the restless sea. Perhaps someone they love dearly is on board, and who knows if they will return. Perfect picture to illustrate your poem.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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Many thanks, Anne, for sharing and praising my poem. I am delighted you can feel what the old man and girl do as they watch the ship depart. As you might suspect, the picture inspired the poem.
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You are welcome
Comment from Tina Crute
Your words marry the poem so well! It even looks like, with the figures with hands out, in the scene, are looking worried about the ship. There is some alliteration in here that mimics the roll of the sea as it bobs. The background color looks like a sky when it is getting ready to storm. All in all, this is well done and very enjoyed!
Tina
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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Your words marry the poem so well! It even looks like, with the figures with hands out, in the scene, are looking worried about the ship. There is some alliteration in here that mimics the roll of the sea as it bobs. The background color looks like a sky when it is getting ready to storm. All in all, this is well done and very enjoyed!
Tina
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much, Tina, for sharing and praising my poem. I am delighted you enjoyed my use of alliteration to mimic the roll of the sea.
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You are welcome! I can't wait to see who wrote this when I vote...
Tina
Comment from zanya
How exquisitely sentiments are verbally evoked here as the ship sails off into the distant yonder - who knows what its ultimate fate may be ? Powerful evocation - should make it to the winner's enclosure - the painting is beautiful
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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How exquisitely sentiments are verbally evoked here as the ship sails off into the distant yonder - who knows what its ultimate fate may be ? Powerful evocation - should make it to the winner's enclosure - the painting is beautiful
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much, zanya, for sharing and praising my poem and for the six bright stars. I am especially pleased you think the poem evokes the drama of what is foreboded.
Comment from RGstar
This is just beautifully written. The rhythm is maintained, and a good poetic aura without doubt. Know well, if I had more sixes, this could have received.
Nice and simple, the wording flowed effortlessly, placed in their rightful places, suited the image and the imagery created by them.
A really light and clean poem.
Very good.
Well done author.
My best wishes.
RGstar.
Have a splendid week.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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This is just beautifully written. The rhythm is maintained, and a good poetic aura without doubt. Know well, if I had more sixes, this could have received.
Nice and simple, the wording flowed effortlessly, placed in their rightful places, suited the image and the imagery created by them.
A really light and clean poem.
Very good.
Well done author.
My best wishes.
RGstar.
Have a splendid week.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much, RGstar, for your high praise of my ekphrastic. Rod
Comment from irishauthorme
Very good work, and a great painting to go with. Winslow captured the might and majesty of the sea.
Went through a few typhoons aboard ship in the US Navy, cannot imagine what it would have been like in a sailing ship.
Good word picture of the clipper ship disappearing gradually over the horizon, and the doom forecast by the seafarer watching from the safety of the shore.
irish
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Very good work, and a great painting to go with. Winslow captured the might and majesty of the sea.
Went through a few typhoons aboard ship in the US Navy, cannot imagine what it would have been like in a sailing ship.
Good word picture of the clipper ship disappearing gradually over the horizon, and the doom forecast by the seafarer watching from the safety of the shore.
irish
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I am delighted to hear that a Navy vet can relate so well to the story I am telling here. Many thanks for sharing and praising my poem. Rod
Comment from Kooky Clown
I enjoyed reading this and thought it was well described I always think about the people who risk their lives at sea in small fishing boats often so far from land, so brave. Thanks for sharing. Picture was lovely too. Kooky.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I enjoyed reading this and thought it was well described I always think about the people who risk their lives at sea in small fishing boats often so far from land, so brave. Thanks for sharing. Picture was lovely too. Kooky.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Thank you for sharing my poem, Kooky. I am delighted you enjoyed my story. Rod
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I think you have done a great job of sharing that sinking feeling (no pun intended) as you watch a ship leave shore. I imagine it was even worse for those watching ships leave in the 19th century. Very well done. You capture that moment so well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I think you have done a great job of sharing that sinking feeling (no pun intended) as you watch a ship leave shore. I imagine it was even worse for those watching ships leave in the 19th century. Very well done. You capture that moment so well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I can only imagine what life was like for both those who went out on the ships and those who awaited their return. Many thanks for sharing and praising my poem. Rod
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Beautiful picture to accompany a poem which tells the same story superbly.
Great use of alliteration in 'ship sails, dawn and daubs,rise and roll'
many more too many to highlight individually.
The words are woven in such a way as to present an exact replica of the picture.
There is nothing about this poem that I did not like!
Warmly,
Juliette
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Beautiful picture to accompany a poem which tells the same story superbly.
Great use of alliteration in 'ship sails, dawn and daubs,rise and roll'
many more too many to highlight individually.
The words are woven in such a way as to present an exact replica of the picture.
There is nothing about this poem that I did not like!
Warmly,
Juliette
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I am thrilled by your marvelous response to my poem, Juliette. Thank you so much for your high praise and those six bright stars. Rod
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Watching Her Leave, is well written to capture the spectacle of watching the ship go out to sea. The fears that it will disappear and never return are brought up as well. Brave are the men of the sea.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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This poem, Watching Her Leave, is well written to capture the spectacle of watching the ship go out to sea. The fears that it will disappear and never return are brought up as well. Brave are the men of the sea.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I enjoyed putting myself in the old man's shoes as he watched the ship leave. Many thanks for sharing and praising my poem, Bill.
