Passage
A spiritual sonnet31 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a lovely Sonnet about accepting the change of the seasons but also about the changes in life. The first two verses are beautifully descriptive, and a lovely presentation.Good luck in the contest. cheers
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This is a lovely Sonnet about accepting the change of the seasons but also about the changes in life. The first two verses are beautifully descriptive, and a lovely presentation.Good luck in the contest. cheers
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much, Pearl, for sharing and praising my sonnet so highly. Rod
Comment from Sherry Asbury
If things were static, how boring life would become. Though we may hate the change from one season to the next...it is that change that brings wonder and excitement! Change can be hard sometimes - but it makes the world rich in adventure!! Nice work and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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If things were static, how boring life would become. Though we may hate the change from one season to the next...it is that change that brings wonder and excitement! Change can be hard sometimes - but it makes the world rich in adventure!! Nice work and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Your commentary is spot-on, Sherry. Many thanks for sharing and praising my sonnet. Rod
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My joy!!
Comment from royowen
Isn't it interesting that our lives are an ever changing tapestry, and God is unchanging. And eternity is the changeless...now, and our environment is ever changing. We are being changed from "glory to glory" but God is immutable. Because our bodies will die, we look forward to an eternal one. A beautifully written sonnet my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Isn't it interesting that our lives are an ever changing tapestry, and God is unchanging. And eternity is the changeless...now, and our environment is ever changing. We are being changed from "glory to glory" but God is immutable. Because our bodies will die, we look forward to an eternal one. A beautifully written sonnet my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much, Roy, for sharing my poem and your commentary.
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Well done
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this poem with us. Autumn is my favorite season because of the rich colors. I also think winter is pretty, although in Texas I rarely see it. My favorite stanza is your last one. Yes, God provided all this beauty for us. We should take time to enjoy it. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for sharing this poem with us. Autumn is my favorite season because of the rich colors. I also think winter is pretty, although in Texas I rarely see it. My favorite stanza is your last one. Yes, God provided all this beauty for us. We should take time to enjoy it. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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I share your love for Autumn, Barbara. Many thanks for reading my sonnet and your best wishes. Rod
Comment from SimianSavant
Nice poem and rhyming schema. I especially liked what you did with the word *debris*.
One technical thing to look at:
My feathered friends, the wrens and chickadees,
FREQUENT the feeder less, HAVE TAKEN wing.
Here you have two conflicting verb tenses, which makes it difficult for the reader to place your image in time. It is also a little ambiguous; usually we use the expression *taken wing*, we mean they are no longer there at all, but it sounds from the previous clause that they are still there, just less.
Thanks for the read! And let me know if you correct the verb tense, as I would be happy to add back a star.
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reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Nice poem and rhyming schema. I especially liked what you did with the word *debris*.
One technical thing to look at:
My feathered friends, the wrens and chickadees,
FREQUENT the feeder less, HAVE TAKEN wing.
Here you have two conflicting verb tenses, which makes it difficult for the reader to place your image in time. It is also a little ambiguous; usually we use the expression *taken wing*, we mean they are no longer there at all, but it sounds from the previous clause that they are still there, just less.
Thanks for the read! And let me know if you correct the verb tense, as I would be happy to add back a star.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you, Harambe, for taking the time to read my poem so closely and make suggestions. I understand what your concerns are about my verb tenses. Indeed the birds don?t come as often and MANY have "taken wing" or do not come at all. FREQUENT is in the present tense and "have taken" is what known as a present participle (I.e.?the action is still going on).
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Yes, the tenses don't actually have to be in conflict if the supporting words are added. To be honest I can never remember what half the verb tenses are called; I only know how to use them!
Comment from Paul McFarland
Very nice sonnet. Rhyme scheme and meter are really good. Great descriptions and a great picture. Should do very well in the contest.
Favorite line: My feathered friends, the wrens and chickadees,
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Very nice sonnet. Rhyme scheme and meter are really good. Great descriptions and a great picture. Should do very well in the contest.
Favorite line: My feathered friends, the wrens and chickadees,
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much, Paul, for sharing and praising my sonnet. Rod
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is a good entry for the Spiritual change contest. You definitely point out how many things change from fall to winter. The Lord made this magical miracle of wonders for our enjoyment. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This is a good entry for the Spiritual change contest. You definitely point out how many things change from fall to winter. The Lord made this magical miracle of wonders for our enjoyment. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much, Patty, for sharing and praising my sonnet. Rod
Comment from Frank Malley
This Shakespearean sonnet adheres very functionally to the form, and as WS did, it uses two stanzas for description and a third to contemplate; the ultimate recommendation is present in the couplet at the end. The first six lines are the best. There are a few weaker lines following these. I usually find inversions used to facilitate rhymes weaken a poem, but sometimes such usage is the only functional way that can be found. I would consider reworking the last eight lines, but I want to emphasize that this sonnet is quite skillful, and deserves a five.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This Shakespearean sonnet adheres very functionally to the form, and as WS did, it uses two stanzas for description and a third to contemplate; the ultimate recommendation is present in the couplet at the end. The first six lines are the best. There are a few weaker lines following these. I usually find inversions used to facilitate rhymes weaken a poem, but sometimes such usage is the only functional way that can be found. I would consider reworking the last eight lines, but I want to emphasize that this sonnet is quite skillful, and deserves a five.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you, Frank, for your informed review of my sonnet. I?d like to think the Bard would approve of my use of his format. Rod
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I didn't discuss your sonnets content, but here in NY state, in December, winter is palpable and threatening reality. I saw the last garter snake of the season Nov. 17, quite late; and the green frogs in the pool that a spring feeds in our yard were amazingly hardy, not disappearing until some really hard frosts occurred in late November. So, to go modern, yes, I feel you.
Comment from pookietoo
I love this photo, and the poem is very nice. You used a lot of descriptive words. You did a wonderful job of rhyming almost every line. Keep up the great work with your poems.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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I love this photo, and the poem is very nice. You used a lot of descriptive words. You did a wonderful job of rhyming almost every line. Keep up the great work with your poems.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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I am so pleased you love the photo I chose. Indeed, it seems perfect for what I had to say. Many thanks for your kind praise. Rod
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Welcome
Comment from oliver818
This is a nice poem with a gentle and sad feel to it. I enjoyed reading it, with its good rhythm and flow. Your descriptions are very touching and evocative. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This is a nice poem with a gentle and sad feel to it. I enjoyed reading it, with its good rhythm and flow. Your descriptions are very touching and evocative. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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I am delighted you enjoyed my sonnet, Oliver. Many thanks for sharing and praising it. Rod
