Dinner and a Show
Family dinners run amok18 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Well, that is a great contrast from two very different cultures in eating. I'm relieved to know that this was all just fiction. I think the father was enough to make his kids allergic to food! Best wishes in the contest!
You'd of thought Dad was (You'd have)
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
  |
Lol! Well, that is a great contrast from two very different cultures in eating. I'm relieved to know that this was all just fiction. I think the father was enough to make his kids allergic to food! Best wishes in the contest!
You'd of thought Dad was (You'd have)
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
-
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from aryr
This was great, Earl. Good luck wishes regarding the Family Story (fiction prompt). It was a wonderful picture of (I can't remember his name, lol) the cooking show guy. Wow, two different personalities presented themselves- the father who was so serious and the farmer who really didn't care about manners. Very well done and immensely enjoyed.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
|
This was great, Earl. Good luck wishes regarding the Family Story (fiction prompt). It was a wonderful picture of (I can't remember his name, lol) the cooking show guy. Wow, two different personalities presented themselves- the father who was so serious and the farmer who really didn't care about manners. Very well done and immensely enjoyed.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
-
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
-
You are definitely welcome Earl.
Comment from BethShelby
This is an amusing story. I do home the part about the fork going through you hand was fictional. I'll take your word that is was but you made it seem real. I've heard of two people reaching with forks to get chicken from a dish and one getting his had stuck with fork, but that wouldn't have happened where table manners were important. I don't think many kids these days get taught manners becould few families set down at the table together to eat.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
|
This is an amusing story. I do home the part about the fork going through you hand was fictional. I'll take your word that is was but you made it seem real. I've heard of two people reaching with forks to get chicken from a dish and one getting his had stuck with fork, but that wouldn't have happened where table manners were important. I don't think many kids these days get taught manners becould few families set down at the table together to eat.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
-
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from royowen
How amusing, conventions were completely different from one house to another, I may not have survived from one meal to another in your dad's home Earl. I seem to remember things were different from one house to another when I was a boy, I usually waited until the house conventions were established when I was young. Beautifully written Earl, excellent job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
|
How amusing, conventions were completely different from one house to another, I may not have survived from one meal to another in your dad's home Earl. I seem to remember things were different from one house to another when I was a boy, I usually waited until the house conventions were established when I was young. Beautifully written Earl, excellent job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
-
Thank you very much Roy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
-
Most welcome Earl
Comment from prettybluebirds
It may be fiction but my girlfriend's house was almost as bad as your story portrayed. Not quite, but almost. Your story is creative and could very well be true for some folks. I didn't spot any errors. I wish you all the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
|
It may be fiction but my girlfriend's house was almost as bad as your story portrayed. Not quite, but almost. Your story is creative and could very well be true for some folks. I didn't spot any errors. I wish you all the best in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
-
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from SimianSavant
This is an interesting and entertaining story badly in need of editing. Make the following fixes to avoid distracting the reader from your message!
Family dinners were always adventures, [AND] not good ones . <= eliminate space before period
Dad always had to have a glass, glass to drink out of. <= is this a deliberate stylistic thing? If so, it is permissible under poetic license, but just want to make sure you are aware which rules you are breaking
And God help whoever had washed DISHES[pl] if there was A[sing] spot on IT[sing]
<= Incompatibility between singular and plural
We weren't allowed to reach beyond the perimeter of our plates, we had to ask for something to be passed. <= run-on Millennial-style sentence
There were a lot of off limits topics <= should be off-limits
We weren't allowed to talk about hippies <= this is funny
(other than Johnny Cash,) <= comma needs to come after the parenthesis
You'd of thought <= should be you'd HAVE thought. I know OF is more conversational, but it doesn't work in writing.
We[pl] just all held our breath[singular] <= see earlier comment on singular vs. plural use
We all STOPPED [past tense] eating and WATCHED [past tense] as he WOULD slowly LIFT [perfect tense] the hair up to eye level. <= verb tense incompatibility
Klunk. <= add an extra like break before the first instance
"You're not fooling me that's a pot leaf, go change immediately." <= run-on sentence
"Yes sir." <= insert paragraph break after
until we started going to school, then our manners went downhill. <=run-on
it was a drama fee zone <= drama-free
when we went into eat <= in to, not into
We were sat at a small square table just a little larger than a card table, I wanted a piece of bread and noticed it was out of the zone. <= run-on
I don't need stuck twice to learn a lesson. <= this sentence makes no sense in English
Thanks for the read, and good luck! Message me after fixing it and I will add back a star.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
 |
This is an interesting and entertaining story badly in need of editing. Make the following fixes to avoid distracting the reader from your message!
Family dinners were always adventures, [AND] not good ones . <= eliminate space before period
Dad always had to have a glass, glass to drink out of. <= is this a deliberate stylistic thing? If so, it is permissible under poetic license, but just want to make sure you are aware which rules you are breaking
And God help whoever had washed DISHES[pl] if there was A[sing] spot on IT[sing]
<= Incompatibility between singular and plural
We weren't allowed to reach beyond the perimeter of our plates, we had to ask for something to be passed. <= run-on Millennial-style sentence
There were a lot of off limits topics <= should be off-limits
We weren't allowed to talk about hippies <= this is funny
(other than Johnny Cash,) <= comma needs to come after the parenthesis
You'd of thought <= should be you'd HAVE thought. I know OF is more conversational, but it doesn't work in writing.
We[pl] just all held our breath[singular] <= see earlier comment on singular vs. plural use
We all STOPPED [past tense] eating and WATCHED [past tense] as he WOULD slowly LIFT [perfect tense] the hair up to eye level. <= verb tense incompatibility
Klunk. <= add an extra like break before the first instance
"You're not fooling me that's a pot leaf, go change immediately." <= run-on sentence
"Yes sir." <= insert paragraph break after
until we started going to school, then our manners went downhill. <=run-on
it was a drama fee zone <= drama-free
when we went into eat <= in to, not into
We were sat at a small square table just a little larger than a card table, I wanted a piece of bread and noticed it was out of the zone. <= run-on
I don't need stuck twice to learn a lesson. <= this sentence makes no sense in English
Thanks for the read, and good luck! Message me after fixing it and I will add back a star.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
-
I went through and corrected errors. I used glass glass intentionally. The hyphens between off limits an drama free are optional and I didn't use them I use the Associated Press Guide to punctuate since I work for a newspaper.
-
Fair enough! But, it says "drama fee" <= should read "drama FREE". Also found another typo I missed: breathes <= should be breaths.
I don't need stuck twice to learn a lesson. <= this apparent error is still present
Comment from NANCY V. FORREST
This is a very realistic story and well told. The environment at each table is vibrant and the emotions well expressed. It is an enjoyable read with a fun ending to offset the harshness of the beginning.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
|
This is a very realistic story and well told. The environment at each table is vibrant and the emotions well expressed. It is an enjoyable read with a fun ending to offset the harshness of the beginning.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
-
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
-
:-)
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, I can identify with your family dinners. Ours were pretty much the same. You developed your home experience into an excellent story with a well-delivered punch-line. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
|
Yes, I can identify with your family dinners. Ours were pretty much the same. You developed your home experience into an excellent story with a well-delivered punch-line. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
-
Thank you very much Wendy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my story.
