(Haiku) Mist
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Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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(Haiku) Mist
Nice entry for the One Line Haiku contest. You followed the rules well. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Good satori. No picture or kigo. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Moving forward through the ...
(Haiku) Mist
Nice entry for the One Line Haiku contest. You followed the rules well. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Good satori. No picture or kigo. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much Gypsy. I value your thoughtful review and good wishes.
Comment from Saria/Shreyamsi
Thanks for the advice! when we are on the path of grief, we must be careful for it is not only difficult but dangerous and I hope not the grief path is the last path taken. Your wisdom shines through your haiku!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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Thanks for the advice! when we are on the path of grief, we must be careful for it is not only difficult but dangerous and I hope not the grief path is the last path taken. Your wisdom shines through your haiku!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much for your lovely review and kind words. Appreciated.
Comment from Melbelles
Great choice of words. Just beautiful! And I think it's smart you didn't put a picture with it, it would possibly distract from the beauty of it. It really makes you think. Very heartfelt. Even the way you write it feels comforting. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Great choice of words. Just beautiful! And I think it's smart you didn't put a picture with it, it would possibly distract from the beauty of it. It really makes you think. Very heartfelt. Even the way you write it feels comforting. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your thoughtful words. (For this particular contest, a picture wasn't allowed. The words had to both show and tell, all on their own. I think perhaps it is a good idea.)
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You did a good job
with the presentation
and the haiku.
-I could easily see
what would be the
usual three lines.
-A good topic and
effective nature and
seasonal imagery.
-The syllable count is good.
-A good satori line and
message within the poem.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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-You did a good job
with the presentation
and the haiku.
-I could easily see
what would be the
usual three lines.
-A good topic and
effective nature and
seasonal imagery.
-The syllable count is good.
-A good satori line and
message within the poem.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much for your thoughtful and thorough review, and good wishes. I appreciate you and your time.
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You are very welcome, and I appreciate your reply.
Comment from June Sargent
A dad and poignant piece that captures the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness when we are grieving a loss. We become lost souls walking on dangerous ground enshrouded in a mist of sadness.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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A dad and poignant piece that captures the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness when we are grieving a loss. We become lost souls walking on dangerous ground enshrouded in a mist of sadness.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much, June. A lovely review - you have understood perfectly. I appreciate your words.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
' (Haiku) Mist , is short, succinct and delightfully descriptive. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. With a minimum of words this poet has told it as it is. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are crossed for you.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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' (Haiku) Mist , is short, succinct and delightfully descriptive. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. With a minimum of words this poet has told it as it is. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are crossed for you.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for your kind words. Appreciated.
You're very welcome :)))
Comment from chatterbox1
While I cannot comment on your style, I can certainly give you five stars for content. This poem hit my heart so hard, that I am still crying. This is the anniversary of a tragedy in my life. No, I'm changing it to six stars.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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While I cannot comment on your style, I can certainly give you five stars for content. This poem hit my heart so hard, that I am still crying. This is the anniversary of a tragedy in my life. No, I'm changing it to six stars.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Wow! Thank you so much for the six stars, I sincerely thank you for the honour, which I greatly appreciate. I am so sorry for what you have been through ... I hope that the mist clears soon, and that the sun will shine through for you.
Comment from Janetsue
This entry for the contest holds a lot of wisdom because many things have been done when emotions are wounded that a person later regrets. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This entry for the contest holds a lot of wisdom because many things have been done when emotions are wounded that a person later regrets. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your thoughtful comments.
Comment from Mark D. R.
You packed a lot of nuances and meaning into this contest-written poem - well done in so few words! 'Walk carefully' is a well-crafted phrase.
P.S. I am not a fan of italic script font. IMHO it is difficult to read and unnecessary even for the type of message you convey in your poem. In landscape mode on my iPad, it shows as a single line. Consider centering the text to give it a punch to its presentation for other FS reviewers.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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You packed a lot of nuances and meaning into this contest-written poem - well done in so few words! 'Walk carefully' is a well-crafted phrase.
P.S. I am not a fan of italic script font. IMHO it is difficult to read and unnecessary even for the type of message you convey in your poem. In landscape mode on my iPad, it shows as a single line. Consider centering the text to give it a punch to its presentation for other FS reviewers.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for your kind comments and suggestions. Strangely, on my computer it doesn't come out in Script font, although it says it is. But if that is how it shows on an IPad, I will change it. Many thanks for letting me know.
Comment from tfawcus
Grief-toned mist is a very descriptive and apt metaphor. You are right that grief can cloud the mind and it isn't the best time to take important decisions.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Grief-toned mist is a very descriptive and apt metaphor. You are right that grief can cloud the mind and it isn't the best time to take important decisions.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much for your thoughtful review. Appreciated.
