Strangers
Related But...16 total reviews
Comment from PoemsOfDD
This is quite the story in a poem. I am impressed that it is a true account of your life in a poem. It is sad that you will never know the answers as to why life turned out the way it did for a brother you never knew existed until now. Sadder that your parents took their secret to the grave. I was captivated right to the end of the poem.
Just a comment, for you to ignore if you like. But - I thought the 15 verses at 4 lines each worked and flowed well. Then, the conclusion of two lines only in the end couplet came across as incomplete without the other two line to rhyme with. As a suggestion, and food for thought, perhaps something like...
I'm glad that he has searched me out,
There's mem'ries we can share.
We've lost much time, there is no doubt
I'll show him that I care.
or -
I'm glad that he has searched me out,
There's mem'ries we can share.
We've lost much time, there is no doubt
But I'll show him I care.
Thank you for sharing this sensitive story. I'm happy you have another family member to get to know. Best of luck and I look forward to reading more about the new chapter in your life.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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This is quite the story in a poem. I am impressed that it is a true account of your life in a poem. It is sad that you will never know the answers as to why life turned out the way it did for a brother you never knew existed until now. Sadder that your parents took their secret to the grave. I was captivated right to the end of the poem.
Just a comment, for you to ignore if you like. But - I thought the 15 verses at 4 lines each worked and flowed well. Then, the conclusion of two lines only in the end couplet came across as incomplete without the other two line to rhyme with. As a suggestion, and food for thought, perhaps something like...
I'm glad that he has searched me out,
There's mem'ries we can share.
We've lost much time, there is no doubt
I'll show him that I care.
or -
I'm glad that he has searched me out,
There's mem'ries we can share.
We've lost much time, there is no doubt
But I'll show him I care.
Thank you for sharing this sensitive story. I'm happy you have another family member to get to know. Best of luck and I look forward to reading more about the new chapter in your life.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Thank you for that wonderful suggestion....I will use your words and improve my poem, if thats ok. I just video chatted with him yesterday and we were both very nervous, but it went well. We'll talk again on Christmas day. He has many questions about our mom and what she was like. I can answer those, but I have no answers for why this happened. It so strange to hear him call me sis! I've never been called that before, even by the siblings I grew up with. Thanks again for helping me make my poem better and I hope you and your family have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. :)❤
Comment from Jesse James Doty
How serendipitous! That the brother you had searched out became the one who was searching for his biological family? Wow, that's amazing! This is bigger than the both of you two siblings lost across the Atlantic sea! So many lost children searching for their long-lost relatives...it has become an epidemic! Well written and extremely fortuitous this story needs to be told to all!
The rhymes were all well-chosen and the subject was off the charts!
This epidemic needs to be addressed it no longer involves just the two of you!
Every lost child's angst can be found in every line that is written in this poem!
So, let's call this a call to all you are lost and need to find their relatives whether living or dead! Please, don't give up and never lose the fight to stay alive!
I am one of the fortunate ones who was born to a biological father and mother yet there are so many who do not have this privilege and I am grateful to not feel lost!
Take good care of each other you are the only family that you've got!
Why don't the two of you make a pact and enjoy the holidays? It will help you feel so not alone, both of you!
Happy holidays and feel blessed that you have finally found each other at last!
You're newfound friend,
Jesse
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2021
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How serendipitous! That the brother you had searched out became the one who was searching for his biological family? Wow, that's amazing! This is bigger than the both of you two siblings lost across the Atlantic sea! So many lost children searching for their long-lost relatives...it has become an epidemic! Well written and extremely fortuitous this story needs to be told to all!
The rhymes were all well-chosen and the subject was off the charts!
This epidemic needs to be addressed it no longer involves just the two of you!
Every lost child's angst can be found in every line that is written in this poem!
So, let's call this a call to all you are lost and need to find their relatives whether living or dead! Please, don't give up and never lose the fight to stay alive!
I am one of the fortunate ones who was born to a biological father and mother yet there are so many who do not have this privilege and I am grateful to not feel lost!
Take good care of each other you are the only family that you've got!
Why don't the two of you make a pact and enjoy the holidays? It will help you feel so not alone, both of you!
Happy holidays and feel blessed that you have finally found each other at last!
You're newfound friend,
Jesse
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2021
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Thanks for reading my poem. He was actually the one who was searching, I had no idea he existed. It's both scary and exciting, but I'm glad it came about. Thanks again for your kind words. :)
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This must have been a very strange thing for you to come to terms with. I hope you can get to know your brother from across the ocean. Thanks for sharing your story in your well written poem
They(the) whole thing seems insane
Good luck in the contest. Cheers
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2021
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This must have been a very strange thing for you to come to terms with. I hope you can get to know your brother from across the ocean. Thanks for sharing your story in your well written poem
They(the) whole thing seems insane
Good luck in the contest. Cheers
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2021
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It has been strange and mystifying. It has changed my whole perception of my parents, but I don't judge them. I still love them, I just find it hard to understand. Thanks again for reading. :)
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
A life changing story indeed! Thanks for sharing it with us. It has made an awful impact on me. Oh! What a great secret that must have sprung quite a lot of surprises on you.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of self discovery strategies evolved to obviate the embarrassment.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2021
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A life changing story indeed! Thanks for sharing it with us. It has made an awful impact on me. Oh! What a great secret that must have sprung quite a lot of surprises on you.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of self discovery strategies evolved to obviate the embarrassment.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2021
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Thank you for this kind and thoughtful review. It's kind of unreal, but I'm glad it happened. I hope you and your family have very happy holidays. :)
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Remain Blessed.
Comment from zanya
A wonderful family story told with love and compassion and a great sense of curiosity about a family member who has, so to speak, only been connected with recently- a real- life happy ending
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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2021
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A wonderful family story told with love and compassion and a great sense of curiosity about a family member who has, so to speak, only been connected with recently- a real- life happy ending
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading my poem. We have yet to meet but I'm hopeful that we might someday. Have a merry Christmas. :)
Comment from RodG
What an outstanding Christmas present to learn you have another brother. Your poem emphasizes how shocked you were to learn about him and even more shocked your parents could leave him behind. WWII affected lives in so many ways and young couples wed abroad had many torturous decisions to make. I hope you get to meet him in person soon. Great story told in poetic form. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2021
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What an outstanding Christmas present to learn you have another brother. Your poem emphasizes how shocked you were to learn about him and even more shocked your parents could leave him behind. WWII affected lives in so many ways and young couples wed abroad had many torturous decisions to make. I hope you get to meet him in person soon. Great story told in poetic form. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2021
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Thank you for this thoughtful review. I hope to meet him someday and this is all very new to me, but exciting. Thanks again. :)
