The Classroom War
My first battle27 total reviews
Comment from Minglement
I wish I had a sixer for this well-written biographical story from your past. You were much braver than I, though I fought a couple of those wars myself lol. Ultimately, teachers have the power. I love that you called it a war. Especially at the age you were at the time, I'm sure it felt like it. Much greater wars to be won, later in life. Well done. Take care.
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I wish I had a sixer for this well-written biographical story from your past. You were much braver than I, though I fought a couple of those wars myself lol. Ultimately, teachers have the power. I love that you called it a war. Especially at the age you were at the time, I'm sure it felt like it. Much greater wars to be won, later in life. Well done. Take care.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This line sums it all up. It is the crux of the drama: "For war, all that is required are opposing sides and, of course... loss." The reader fastens their seatbelt for the ride. The alliteration with the b's is very telling. Coming off as a sociopath of sorts. But that is most every adolescent. I taught them for 18 years, then worked with recovering addicts who immediately regress into adolescence. : "Yet, here you are, expecting me to teach or tutor three kids for free. You've admitted that already." The diary entry is a great example of a cautionary tale. Great job.
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This line sums it all up. It is the crux of the drama: "For war, all that is required are opposing sides and, of course... loss." The reader fastens their seatbelt for the ride. The alliteration with the b's is very telling. Coming off as a sociopath of sorts. But that is most every adolescent. I taught them for 18 years, then worked with recovering addicts who immediately regress into adolescence. : "Yet, here you are, expecting me to teach or tutor three kids for free. You've admitted that already." The diary entry is a great example of a cautionary tale. Great job.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
Comment from Mary Shifman
Well, my friend, your certainly have chutzpah and you were just a sixth grader! What were you like in seventh grade? I found this very funny and quite well written. Having been a teach myself, I've met up with a few of your successors! I do believe this is a winner.
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Well, my friend, your certainly have chutzpah and you were just a sixth grader! What were you like in seventh grade? I found this very funny and quite well written. Having been a teach myself, I've met up with a few of your successors! I do believe this is a winner.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story is a perfect example of creative non-fiction, written to capture and maintain the reader's interest just as fiction would. The meaning of the story and the message was clearly stated several times within the story...sometimes it's better to hold your tongue and the opportunity to win the battle than suffer negative consequences for winning. Great story told in a humorous way.
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This story is a perfect example of creative non-fiction, written to capture and maintain the reader's interest just as fiction would. The meaning of the story and the message was clearly stated several times within the story...sometimes it's better to hold your tongue and the opportunity to win the battle than suffer negative consequences for winning. Great story told in a humorous way.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
Comment from Spitfire
Having taught 11th and 12th grade English, I could relate to this. I liked the concept of group work but realize the 'dumbies' sat back and let the bright students do the work.
It had been my idealistic hope that brilliant minds would
'teach' them thinking skills. Okay, I'm guilty of wanting the bright ones to tutor. It didn't work.
Eventually. I put the lazy ones and the failing ones together and they were 'forced' to think. That worked better.
Great to give 'smart ass' a recognition that he has a fatal flaw. Immediately, we like him.
Being a pre-teen genius is a horror show. Yeap, I've seen the bright ones dumb down to avoid a lynching!
Ms Clarkson is delightfully cool about his refusal and has puts him on the fence. By his admitting she's right wins the war right there!
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Having taught 11th and 12th grade English, I could relate to this. I liked the concept of group work but realize the 'dumbies' sat back and let the bright students do the work.
It had been my idealistic hope that brilliant minds would
'teach' them thinking skills. Okay, I'm guilty of wanting the bright ones to tutor. It didn't work.
Eventually. I put the lazy ones and the failing ones together and they were 'forced' to think. That worked better.
Great to give 'smart ass' a recognition that he has a fatal flaw. Immediately, we like him.
Being a pre-teen genius is a horror show. Yeap, I've seen the bright ones dumb down to avoid a lynching!
Ms Clarkson is delightfully cool about his refusal and has puts him on the fence. By his admitting she's right wins the war right there!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
Comment from judiverse
My great-nephew had an attitude like this when he was about that age. Fortunately, he outgrew it. I don't know what Lance's objections were to working in a group or why he felt like he would have to educate the others.
It seems like the punishment he received made him realize that this was one fight he shouldn't have gotten into. It was not worth it. A lot of intelligence on Lance's part as he gives his reasons for defying and then belittling the teacher. At least he has learned from his outburst. Excellent story development, and good luck in the contest. I hope Lance has learned to exercise restraint since then. judi
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My great-nephew had an attitude like this when he was about that age. Fortunately, he outgrew it. I don't know what Lance's objections were to working in a group or why he felt like he would have to educate the others.
It seems like the punishment he received made him realize that this was one fight he shouldn't have gotten into. It was not worth it. A lot of intelligence on Lance's part as he gives his reasons for defying and then belittling the teacher. At least he has learned from his outburst. Excellent story development, and good luck in the contest. I hope Lance has learned to exercise restraint since then. judi
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
Comment from Judy Lawless
My, my, my, you were a bit of a selfish brat as a pre-teen, Lance! Or maybe you're fabricating some of this, just as the contest rules suggest? lol In any event, it's very well written.
One thing: You have the teacher removing her glasses twice. You might want to take a look at that.
I was going to comment on where you used quotation marks and where you didn't in the longer pieces of dialogue, but honestly, I'm not certain of the rules when they contain a number of paragraphs. I'll have to look that up. :) Good luck in the contest.
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My, my, my, you were a bit of a selfish brat as a pre-teen, Lance! Or maybe you're fabricating some of this, just as the contest rules suggest? lol In any event, it's very well written.
One thing: You have the teacher removing her glasses twice. You might want to take a look at that.
I was going to comment on where you used quotation marks and where you didn't in the longer pieces of dialogue, but honestly, I'm not certain of the rules when they contain a number of paragraphs. I'll have to look that up. :) Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
Comment from royowen
Somehow I think that most students if they stew to awhile would probably think of these things, I certainly did, but I wasn't stupid enough to actually mouth, but I doubt if I could have thought on my feet quickly enough. But them this was fiction, and very entertaining I might add. Well done, blessings Roy
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Somehow I think that most students if they stew to awhile would probably think of these things, I certainly did, but I wasn't stupid enough to actually mouth, but I doubt if I could have thought on my feet quickly enough. But them this was fiction, and very entertaining I might add. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
Comment from robyn corum
Lance,
Please tell me this is mostly fiction and you have really, really, REALLY fluffed it up a bit. I know you are this clever. I have come to learn you are amazingly clever - but this is over the top foolishness. hahahaha
But I loved it. Thanks~
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Lance,
Please tell me this is mostly fiction and you have really, really, REALLY fluffed it up a bit. I know you are this clever. I have come to learn you are amazingly clever - but this is over the top foolishness. hahahaha
But I loved it. Thanks~
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your contest entry. Yes, sometimes it's best not to start a war. Good luck, your story is very good.
I knew that she knew I was lying, & "You seem to be under the impression that you have a choice. & I knew then that I had crossed the line. (in each of these the 'that' can be omitted.
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I enjoyed reading your contest entry. Yes, sometimes it's best not to start a war. Good luck, your story is very good.
I knew that she knew I was lying, & "You seem to be under the impression that you have a choice. & I knew then that I had crossed the line. (in each of these the 'that' can be omitted.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
