Literary Warfare
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Literary Warfare"Friendly competition too oft with deadly results.
15 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
I read all three chapters. These were very good, Wayne!
I think the dialogue was believable and captivating.
I rated this one as it needed a fifteenth review. Thanks for a fun afternoon of reading several of your pieces.
Douglas
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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I read all three chapters. These were very good, Wayne!
I think the dialogue was believable and captivating.
I rated this one as it needed a fifteenth review. Thanks for a fun afternoon of reading several of your pieces.
Douglas
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Thank you! I truly appreciate your reviews.
This story goes back a ways.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a curious observation I hope that more is related to us. I love the image here: "After a brief pause, Jerry bobbed his Adam's apple with a demonstrative swallow. "You're right. I guess that's why I'm here." good use of metaphors...on to next chapter.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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This is a curious observation I hope that more is related to us. I love the image here: "After a brief pause, Jerry bobbed his Adam's apple with a demonstrative swallow. "You're right. I guess that's why I'm here." good use of metaphors...on to next chapter.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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Thank you for digging into the archives. Sorry for the low payoff.
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I have been tipped off about the way to quickly make big $$. So after making the sufficient amount, then I can review any post.
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win contests??????
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I tried contest one time cuz I was posting something for a contest but then I got nervous because it looked like my original post the one I really wanted to be reviewed was hidden. Maybe that isn't what happens to our original post when we post a contest post but I worry about it so I'd rather just work entirely on my chapter.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is an excellent first chapter, Wayne. You've done a great job of developing the characters and the dialogue is natural. I love the banter. I look forward to reading more of this story.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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This is an excellent first chapter, Wayne. You've done a great job of developing the characters and the dialogue is natural. I love the banter. I look forward to reading more of this story.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Chapter two is up. Hope I did it right.
Thank you immensely!
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Thank you!
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You?re welcome, Wayne.
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I just saw that it?s up.
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Chapter two is up.
But you have to dig for it - don't know why.
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is an interesting first chapter. I like the seemingly coincidental nature of their meeting. (I've never believed in coincidence.) It sounds like fate to me. I like your characters and I enjoyed your story. I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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This is an interesting first chapter. I like the seemingly coincidental nature of their meeting. (I've never believed in coincidence.) It sounds like fate to me. I like your characters and I enjoyed your story. I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from nomi338
Congratulations, you have hooked me as profoundly as a fisherman hooking a prized fish. No amount of wriggling will free me. I am hooked and will be anxiously waiting for the next chapter. I could so very easily see myself in this story. Therefore, I must ride this ride to its conclusion.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Congratulations, you have hooked me as profoundly as a fisherman hooking a prized fish. No amount of wriggling will free me. I am hooked and will be anxiously waiting for the next chapter. I could so very easily see myself in this story. Therefore, I must ride this ride to its conclusion.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Wow! Thank you!
As I just replied to another, all I've done so far is enter contests. Not sure how to merely 'post'.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent! I am sure they will be together, but as this is the first chapter. not sure what problems may come along to overcome first. Your story was engaging and interesting and very well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Excellent! I am sure they will be together, but as this is the first chapter. not sure what problems may come along to overcome first. Your story was engaging and interesting and very well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you.
She gains fame. It became hard for him to just hang on when she is pedestalled, glamorized, and shown interest by debonair, wealthy men. He stops calling and she gets busy - death-by-success to a relationship.
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Are you planning to post more? Sounds good!
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I'm thinking about it. All I've done so far is enter contests.
Comment from BethShelby
Nice first chapter, I resisted reading some of these because of their length but since the rules call for a lot of words, I can understand why the are long. For people who share a love of writing, I can understand how this pair would start to want a continuing relationship. If you write more, I hope to be able to see where this is going. It is interesting enough to get the reader to come back for more.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Nice first chapter, I resisted reading some of these because of their length but since the rules call for a lot of words, I can understand why the are long. For people who share a love of writing, I can understand how this pair would start to want a continuing relationship. If you write more, I hope to be able to see where this is going. It is interesting enough to get the reader to come back for more.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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The complete story is about 5K words. I see no way to make it book length. Maybe I could post the next two chapters and not call it a book?
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
There's some real good stuff in this opening chapter. The back & forth between the two as they find their feet in the new relationship is fun.
But if I threw a mud ball at them, it wouldn't stick. It would go right through them. - need closing speech marks here.
"You know, if ..., if we ..." - you don't need the comma following the ellipses.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Hi there,
There's some real good stuff in this opening chapter. The back & forth between the two as they find their feet in the new relationship is fun.
But if I threw a mud ball at them, it wouldn't stick. It would go right through them. - need closing speech marks here.
"You know, if ..., if we ..." - you don't need the comma following the ellipses.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you. I appreciate the editing.
Comment from lyenochka
This sounds like a great romantic comedy! I like that you have two writers meet and their banter is lighthearted but well understood by the other. For the Fanstory audience, this is perfect! What a fun thing that a writers' workshop would be the matchmaker! Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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This sounds like a great romantic comedy! I like that you have two writers meet and their banter is lighthearted but well understood by the other. For the Fanstory audience, this is perfect! What a fun thing that a writers' workshop would be the matchmaker! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you. (For you, only, it's pretty much a true story, at least as far as chapter one goes.)
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Oh! No wonder the characters feel so real!
Comment from Destinee Wallace1
Good story line, it really kept me enthralled. I loved the dialogue and characters Reading this completed version all came together in a unique way with a good moral setting. Keep writing!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Good story line, it really kept me enthralled. I loved the dialogue and characters Reading this completed version all came together in a unique way with a good moral setting. Keep writing!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you. (My wife won't help me edit any hints of ribald or risque. lol)
