Concertina
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Dead Man Walking"Vietnam veteran comes to the end of his denial.
7 total reviews
Comment from Susan Newell
Yard,
This one is extraordinarily powerful in it's zig-zag through the caverns of the mind, the supernatural and boundaries between good and evil. I liked the flashback to the arrival in Vietnam and the recall that Lee had known at the time, but suppressed, that his presence there was not for good. I also liked Satan disguised as Le Chien. He wears so many personas. Terrific writing. Notes below.
Sue
times in your life where you sought them -- better as times . . . when
It crowded around him quickly like a rude sniffing dog, bringing with it the unforgettable smell of humidity, jungle rot, and death. -- Exceptional!
"And now, Lee, the time has come. You know who I am. I am Le Chien; the midnight hound; the little stone in your shoe; the kiss of fear on the nape of your neck and the well from which your nightmares come. I stir your heart to boil up hatred that births words of destruction that shoot from your tongue like fiery darts intending to destroy that which is innocent and good. I stimulate your loins with the salve of lust to debase yourself with others. It is I, who has been the shadow behind you. -- Spectacular.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Yard,
This one is extraordinarily powerful in it's zig-zag through the caverns of the mind, the supernatural and boundaries between good and evil. I liked the flashback to the arrival in Vietnam and the recall that Lee had known at the time, but suppressed, that his presence there was not for good. I also liked Satan disguised as Le Chien. He wears so many personas. Terrific writing. Notes below.
Sue
times in your life where you sought them -- better as times . . . when
It crowded around him quickly like a rude sniffing dog, bringing with it the unforgettable smell of humidity, jungle rot, and death. -- Exceptional!
"And now, Lee, the time has come. You know who I am. I am Le Chien; the midnight hound; the little stone in your shoe; the kiss of fear on the nape of your neck and the well from which your nightmares come. I stir your heart to boil up hatred that births words of destruction that shoot from your tongue like fiery darts intending to destroy that which is innocent and good. I stimulate your loins with the salve of lust to debase yourself with others. It is I, who has been the shadow behind you. -- Spectacular.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Susan for your generous review. It makes my day when a reader 'sees' and 'feels' the nuances. I will keep writing. Yard.
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I'll be waiting. :-)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Geez, I hope this hasn't been your experience. You make it seem very real and scary, like you've been there. It's also a turning point in Lee's life, of course, but he seems to have enough hidden strength of character to avoid Le Chein's offer. Very good creepy chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Geez, I hope this hasn't been your experience. You make it seem very real and scary, like you've been there. It's also a turning point in Lee's life, of course, but he seems to have enough hidden strength of character to avoid Le Chein's offer. Very good creepy chapter.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Carol. Yes, to some degree, I have experienced Lee's story as have most combat veterans. I outlined it years ago and have been filling it in as time and life allow.
Comment from royowen
Isn't it funny? That a man would return to the very source of his torment? The mind is a veritable maze of undetectable conflict, and I guess the imagination has run away. The physical eyes can be deceived by an imagined "demon" whether physical or not. That mind of Christ is the sanity that God gives us to pick our way through the field of conflict. Beautifully written James, blessings Roy
Typo (Retched) boundaries of guilt. Wretched?
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Isn't it funny? That a man would return to the very source of his torment? The mind is a veritable maze of undetectable conflict, and I guess the imagination has run away. The physical eyes can be deceived by an imagined "demon" whether physical or not. That mind of Christ is the sanity that God gives us to pick our way through the field of conflict. Beautifully written James, blessings Roy
Typo (Retched) boundaries of guilt. Wretched?
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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So true. "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Rom: 12:2
Thanks for catching the retched error.
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Amen
Comment from Ric Myworld
There are just some people that we can't get rid of in our lives, the real ones, and the imaginary that always seem to show up at the most inopportune times. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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There are just some people that we can't get rid of in our lives, the real ones, and the imaginary that always seem to show up at the most inopportune times. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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For sure. Choices we make today can become the haunting ghosts of the past.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Maybe I misunderstood this chapter, but is that dog real or is the product of its imagination? Hard to say:) Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Maybe I misunderstood this chapter, but is that dog real or is the product of its imagination? Hard to say:) Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Good catch Ms. Deleanu. Real or imaginary? Hard to say when it's possible Lee suffers from a combination of Delirium Tremens and Hypnopompic Hallucinations. Stay tuned. (:-)
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is getting really deep and dark, Yard. It's very well written. I cheer for Lee, but now I understand who/what Chien is and it's frightening. I hope there is a way out for him.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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This is getting really deep and dark, Yard. It's very well written. I cheer for Lee, but now I understand who/what Chien is and it's frightening. I hope there is a way out for him.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Judy. Yes, there is a way. Lee will find it.... at great cost.
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You're welcome, Yard. I look forward to learning more.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
At first I thought Agent Chien was real, now I am beginning to think, he's only in Lee's mind. You have a great story here and have your readers hooked. Good job.
"Agent Chien smiled a devilish grin then slowly slicked his hair back with fingers that released small electric blue sparks. (You can omit the beginning quotation mark. This isn't dialogue.)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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At first I thought Agent Chien was real, now I am beginning to think, he's only in Lee's mind. You have a great story here and have your readers hooked. Good job.
"Agent Chien smiled a devilish grin then slowly slicked his hair back with fingers that released small electric blue sparks. (You can omit the beginning quotation mark. This isn't dialogue.)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Yes, mam, I was tempted to reveal to you what is taking place because you have been so helpful. I think you are beginning to see it. So now, you're on your own. LOL!
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Hmm, not only are you sweet, you're a stinker.
