Blessing with a Tricky Twist
Retelling of a Biblical story.17 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You've done a good job of writing a colloquial version of the story of Jacob and Esau. You get the point across in an amusing way and remind people that God can be asked for blessings. Good job and best of luck in the contest. You have a few errors to fix. Barren is the correct spelling for not being able to have a baby. ". . . liked to go hunting . . ." " . . .all (that) unruly red hair.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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You've done a good job of writing a colloquial version of the story of Jacob and Esau. You get the point across in an amusing way and remind people that God can be asked for blessings. Good job and best of luck in the contest. You have a few errors to fix. Barren is the correct spelling for not being able to have a baby. ". . . liked to go hunting . . ." " . . .all (that) unruly red hair.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you Carol. I appreciate you reviewing my story and pointing out the glitches that I need to fix. I'm glad you found the way I told the story amusing. I was hoping for that.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I like your story. The Biblical stories are very good reading material but when it comes to writing a version of the story it is not easy. I am reading a book about Tamar, which is really good reading, too.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I like your story. The Biblical stories are very good reading material but when it comes to writing a version of the story it is not easy. I am reading a book about Tamar, which is really good reading, too.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you Rosemary. I'm glad you liked my retelling of the story in more folky way.
Comment from cupa tea
To begin with, Esau didn't care much about the blessing he was supposed to get, and he sold it to his brother for something (to) eat.
I loved the way you told the story. Many times the bible tells stories in a way that's difficult to understand.
I only found one mistake in your story. Good grammar, easy to follow and totally easy to understand.
Good Luck
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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To begin with, Esau didn't care much about the blessing he was supposed to get, and he sold it to his brother for something (to) eat.
I loved the way you told the story. Many times the bible tells stories in a way that's difficult to understand.
I only found one mistake in your story. Good grammar, easy to follow and totally easy to understand.
Good Luck
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Thank you for a great review. I enjoyed your comments and I'm glad you noticed the missing word.
Comment from Eunice Amero
I love this story. God always blesses us. I love all the stories in the bible. Especially Daniel when he was thrown in the din of lions. That was awesome. If that was us we would had got eaten because our faith is so weak. You keep up the good work and good luck.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I love this story. God always blesses us. I love all the stories in the bible. Especially Daniel when he was thrown in the din of lions. That was awesome. If that was us we would had got eaten because our faith is so weak. You keep up the good work and good luck.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for the review and comments and for the six stars. I love the Daniel story too.
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You are very welcome. One day soon we will meet them. What a day that will be. Love to have the faith of Daniel. I sure need it now. Pray for me it's something lm going through to help someone and it's very hard for l have no help. Thank you.
Comment from LovnPeace
A couple of small glitches. to pass (our) -out- the blessing. Isaac sent Esau out to shoot a deer so he could have a good last meal before did the ( ) -did?-traditional honor.
The blessings are still going on today, and it seems if you want to() -be- blessed, it is still a good idea to ask for them. I think that is part of the plan. Don't forget to say 'thank you.'
I Love This. I wish I had the sixth star to give. Good Luck. Blessings. Barbara
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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A couple of small glitches. to pass (our) -out- the blessing. Isaac sent Esau out to shoot a deer so he could have a good last meal before did the ( ) -did?-traditional honor.
The blessings are still going on today, and it seems if you want to() -be- blessed, it is still a good idea to ask for them. I think that is part of the plan. Don't forget to say 'thank you.'
I Love This. I wish I had the sixth star to give. Good Luck. Blessings. Barbara
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you Barbara, I really appreciate the review and comments and you noticing the glitches so I could fix the. I so glad you like it.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good job.
The first 'it' in the last paragraph doesn't need to be capitalized.
Mt reading, I doubt very much if either boy told Isaac anything about the 'trade'. It wouldn't be in Esau's interest, or nature. And Jacob was probably too scared to mention it. They both lived on more hope, than faith in those years.
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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Good job.
The first 'it' in the last paragraph doesn't need to be capitalized.
Mt reading, I doubt very much if either boy told Isaac anything about the 'trade'. It wouldn't be in Esau's interest, or nature. And Jacob was probably too scared to mention it. They both lived on more hope, than faith in those years.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thanks for the review. I appreciate it and for noticing the punctuation mistake.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, thank you for making you laugh about the favoritism around blessed kids:) I think you have a good entry for the contest so good luck. with the contest and with your writings
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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Wow, thank you for making you laugh about the favoritism around blessed kids:) I think you have a good entry for the contest so good luck. with the contest and with your writings
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you Iza, I appreciate the review and comments. I love reading what you write and I usually get a good laugh. You have a great sense of humor.
