The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Mussels and Mushrooms "Adventures around & upon a hill
10 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
The paranormal is a forbidden zone for me. But - it's okay to read about it, and for the paranormal to be used as a theme in fiction.However, although I have invited paranormal visitations or other revelations, none have ever occurred. I do think people in the paranormal circles generate a lot of their paranormal experiences themselves, the way in which Saquatch watchers get all worked up over a sound in the forest at night. But - anyway - I suspended disbelief, and this story was amusing, although certainly not life-changing. Perhaps describing in detail a paranormal encounter would have more communicative power than this fan-club group of girls acting as though the spirits of the dead were like rock stars.The style of the writing aligns with the youthful characters of the story, and I learned what ley lines are and also an expanded understanding of dowse.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022
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The paranormal is a forbidden zone for me. But - it's okay to read about it, and for the paranormal to be used as a theme in fiction.However, although I have invited paranormal visitations or other revelations, none have ever occurred. I do think people in the paranormal circles generate a lot of their paranormal experiences themselves, the way in which Saquatch watchers get all worked up over a sound in the forest at night. But - anyway - I suspended disbelief, and this story was amusing, although certainly not life-changing. Perhaps describing in detail a paranormal encounter would have more communicative power than this fan-club group of girls acting as though the spirits of the dead were like rock stars.The style of the writing aligns with the youthful characters of the story, and I learned what ley lines are and also an expanded understanding of dowse.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. I wanted to let people know this is factual. This is the way, it actually happened. Very low key except for the electrical sense through the body. Someone here said I shouldhave made it more exciting. I was a somber moment. I was actually with two other psychic people. To keep things simple, I have only one with me. You're right. Some of the drama is clearly for money & to be on you tube or TV. As far as Sasquatch, there is a fellow in northern Vermont who has been relation to them since 2008. Here's one of his presentations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm1LvR9z9-A
Comment from Ricky1024
"Mussels and Mushrooms"
Most definitely an interesting combination.
I do cook with it dried Shiitake mushrooms.
I remember growing up as a kid and my mother buying those little boxes of Frozen mushrooms in butter.
They were the most tastiest things I had ever eaten!
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This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
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The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022
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"Mussels and Mushrooms"
Most definitely an interesting combination.
I do cook with it dried Shiitake mushrooms.
I remember growing up as a kid and my mother buying those little boxes of Frozen mushrooms in butter.
They were the most tastiest things I had ever eaten!
...
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 20-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you enjoyed my writing voice
Comment from aryr
A fabulous continuation chapter, Liz. I enjoyed reading about the ley lines, they truly are delightful and very enjoyable. You do provide some interesting details as each chapter unfolds. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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A fabulous continuation chapter, Liz. I enjoyed reading about the ley lines, they truly are delightful and very enjoyable. You do provide some interesting details as each chapter unfolds. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your caring review. I'm glad to know it is coming across the way I hoped it would.
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You are so welcome, Liz.
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Your reviews are always healing. I've gotten two 4's on this. One was right, as my spacings were off, 4's can cut deep. The other 4 said I went too much into detail about the ley lines. It caring friends like you that make it worth it.
By the way, did you know Anne had to move to a whole different area of Australia. I've been going to call her to see how she is adjusting. She's only been on here a bit since. I'll let you know what she says.
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You are so very welcome, Liz. Well I for one certainly enjoy the fact that you pack it full of details. MMMmm, I did not know that, other than she moved, I have asked her twice about her mailing address to no avail. Keep me posted.
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Would you like her phone #? 0110741513696
The way I do my math to when to call her I count 3 hours from now & figure it to be the next day. ie if I call at 11pm on Thur. it is 2pm Fri a good time to call her. But that's with EST.
It will be up to you to do the math...eeek I do have clockmath. Remember in my story...bad math so I had to work it into the next chap.
I tell people, 'Ican write a book but I can't count change or do math. Bwaaa
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Thank you so much for Anne's number, Mmm since I move all over the country with my husband ( I'm retired-lol) I will have to figure out the time change-presently I am in Oregon then to North Dakota in late March.
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I tried the number & it says not in operation, so I guess we'll have to wait for her to surface. I hope everything is ok.
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I hope so too, Liz. She definitely sounded so happy.
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I'm putting it out into the universe that she contacts one of us soon
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is well-written, Liz, and you've given us some good information about the areas you expect to visit and the spirits you might find. In that regard, I think you have some missing quotation marks, but it's hard for me to distinguish if it's all dialogue, or if, where you don't have quotations, you're just speaking to the reader. You might take a look at that.
One little typo: I have, over time, zbeen nudged by many spirits to be released."
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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This is well-written, Liz, and you've given us some good information about the areas you expect to visit and the spirits you might find. In that regard, I think you have some missing quotation marks, but it's hard for me to distinguish if it's all dialogue, or if, where you don't have quotations, you're just speaking to the reader. You might take a look at that.
One little typo: I have, over time, zbeen nudged by many spirits to be released."
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your kind constructive review. I got 4 stars from some and thought I'd taken care of those observations. I didn't used to write with dialogue. It is not one of my strong points. Someone gave me a link to a blog that has every possible situation for quotation marks. It is excellent. It has been a great help. The rules have changed since I was in school. But with your caring direction, I think I cleared up a lot more.
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You are quite welcome, Liz. Glad to be of help. I didn't look at your other reviews, so I didn't know someone else had pointed the issue out to you.
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I took another run through your edited version, Liz, and I think you nailed it. You do have extra line spaces between your last five or six paragraphs though. :)
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thank you for you extra care.
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You're welcome, Liz.
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Something clearly happened with the transfer from my computer to here. I used the advanced writer thing so as to avoid the thing that it does with the apostrophe. So maybe that why it got so messed up. I'll be more vigilant next time.
There's someone named Carol Hillebrenner who gave my friend Mabaker (Anne) a 4. It upset her terribly. Then she gave me a 4. I told her, as Anne had said, 'why would anyone want to read such a terrible story if they gave it a 4. She must be a do-gooder. I told her that most regulars do not give 4's. They might point out needs for 'correction' but look at the whole picture and appreciate the genius of the writer. So she was fine for quite a while. Anne had told her not to bother review her work. I thought I'll just say my stuff & let it go.
WELL...she nailed me with 4 stars for this mess up on my story. I was glad she pointed the messed up lines out ...but a 4 is unnecessary. It equals a B in marks. No one here should get a B for their hard work.
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You know what, I got a four today too, from someone who had never reviewed any of my work before, and he had no criticisms. He's relatively new on here, so is going by the reviewing guidelines that state fives should be given only to exceptional work and six to professional quality work. Most people don't follow those guidelines. Carol has given me fours now and then too. I just thank her for pointing out where I can improve and let it go. I do give fours sometimes, if there is a lot of work to do to bring the writing up to par. I figure I'm giving the writer a chance to see where they can vastly improve their story. It really does no one a favour if we rate them higher than the piece deserves, as is, unless they don't care about becoming a good writer. If I've given a four star and the writer makes the changes and let's me know, I'll take another look and raise the rating. I hope this makes you feel a little better. One four star does not factor into your overall rating.
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4's don't count anyway if we have other 5's. It just can be disenchanting and demoralizing for some writers.
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I understand, Liz. I remember the first time I got one. I almost gave up altogether, thinking I wasn't good enough to be writing on here.
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Right, it takes our breath away for a while. I've gone onto their portfolio to do a review, to show them how reviews could look. AND they haven't even written anything. One sounded like it was going to hurt him more than me. He gave me 3....whaaaat?
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
My gut feeling was that this chapter was a bit unbalanced. Perhaps as a starting point you could shorten and polish the discussion of the ley lines.
Potential SPAGs for your consideration:
zbeen nudged > been nudged
tomorrow, Saturday > the next day, Saturday
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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My gut feeling was that this chapter was a bit unbalanced. Perhaps as a starting point you could shorten and polish the discussion of the ley lines.
Potential SPAGs for your consideration:
zbeen nudged > been nudged
tomorrow, Saturday > the next day, Saturday
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your insight.
Comment from jwsteele
Fascinating write. As above so below. That supports the claim that 4-D is little different in design than 3-D. They may be different oscillations of the same creation. When I did psych nursing it was common to see shadows of black energy (balls) move through the air on the unit.
zbeen nudged by many spirits to be released."
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Fascinating write. As above so below. That supports the claim that 4-D is little different in design than 3-D. They may be different oscillations of the same creation. When I did psych nursing it was common to see shadows of black energy (balls) move through the air on the unit.
zbeen nudged by many spirits to be released."
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. That's cool that you saw the spirits too. I got a tour through the tunnels and basically deserted corridors...creeepy. I released many spirits desiring to go. I'm glad you get it.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent prose my friend! The storyline was very interesting and captivating and held my attention and the characters interact nicely together throughout the piece!
Thanks for sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you and your family this New Year;-)
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Excellent prose my friend! The storyline was very interesting and captivating and held my attention and the characters interact nicely together throughout the piece!
Thanks for sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you and your family this New Year;-)
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. The best to you & yours, also
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;-)
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, so the title had to do more with their dinner. I was wondering if mussels and mushrooms also had to do with dowsing.
Some comments:
Formatting problem split this sentence: "time,
been nudged by many spirits to be released."
Well, we can't say we were (open quotes missing)
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Oh, so the title had to do more with their dinner. I was wondering if mussels and mushrooms also had to do with dowsing.
Some comments:
Formatting problem split this sentence: "time,
been nudged by many spirits to be released."
Well, we can't say we were (open quotes missing)
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your alert review. I was notified of the errors with 4 stars. I think something happened to it as I was transferring it to here. It looks much better now. I edited it right after you read it.
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I don't know why we have to do a "rating" at all. We are here to help each other as equals! I wish we could just let go of the rating/ranking thing and just enjoy writing and reviewing.
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Absolutely. I focused on the creativity when I was teaching. Correct punctuation is very relative when compared with genius.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
You have a way with words that enchants us. I can feel the velvety web moving around our souls demanding to follow your naration. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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You have a way with words that enchants us. I can feel the velvety web moving around our souls demanding to follow your naration. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your encouraging review. I got a few 'corrections' for 4 stars. This is a healing review. Thank you, I am honored.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Your story is interesting but you need to read it aloud to yourself and listen to what you say. Some of your sentences are awkward and many times your paragraphs should be combined when someone is telling about one thing, like the lay lines. Also one sentence near the beginning of your story lost the second half of itself to a separate paragraph. Best of luck with this.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Your story is interesting but you need to read it aloud to yourself and listen to what you say. Some of your sentences are awkward and many times your paragraphs should be combined when someone is telling about one thing, like the lay lines. Also one sentence near the beginning of your story lost the second half of itself to a separate paragraph. Best of luck with this.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your heads up review. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
