Staycation
Love me a...14 total reviews
Comment from SimianSavant
Well you were doing pretty well on the rhymes until the last one there. That is a near rhyme. Overall this entry works, and it is better than a lot of others I have read tonight, but I think you could do a little bit better! How about trying the word *host* to rhyme with your last word? As in, a simple movie night I think I'll host. And perhaps a little more effort on the rhyming meter. Please do let me know if you do some revisions because I would be happy to have a reason to revise this up a star.
Best,
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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Well you were doing pretty well on the rhymes until the last one there. That is a near rhyme. Overall this entry works, and it is better than a lot of others I have read tonight, but I think you could do a little bit better! How about trying the word *host* to rhyme with your last word? As in, a simple movie night I think I'll host. And perhaps a little more effort on the rhyming meter. Please do let me know if you do some revisions because I would be happy to have a reason to revise this up a star.
Best,
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Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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I appreciate you reading my poem. I like it the way it is, but thanks for your honest opinion. :)
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent poem indeed my friend and perfect entry for the Rhyming Contest writing prompt and best of wishes in the contest my friend!
I enjoyed this piece very much;-) The poem flowed nicely throughout the piece and didn't seem to be forced at all!
Thanks for sharing and many blessings to you and your family this New Year;-)
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Excellent poem indeed my friend and perfect entry for the Rhyming Contest writing prompt and best of wishes in the contest my friend!
I enjoyed this piece very much;-) The poem flowed nicely throughout the piece and didn't seem to be forced at all!
Thanks for sharing and many blessings to you and your family this New Year;-)
Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Thank you for this wonderful review, it's really appreciated. :)
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;-)
Comment from Jay Squires
Now, this was one clever poem. I'm rather confused why you used a prose certificate for it since it's clearly a poem. The theme of your poem was humorous and engaging. I especially enjoyed the next to last stanza:
"I think, though, during these times, we'll not roam,
it's probably much safer close to home,
so, dinner and a movie, it will be.
Spaghetti and a family DVD."
Not even take the kids out to dinner and a movie ... Hey, sounds right to me! LOL, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Now, this was one clever poem. I'm rather confused why you used a prose certificate for it since it's clearly a poem. The theme of your poem was humorous and engaging. I especially enjoyed the next to last stanza:
"I think, though, during these times, we'll not roam,
it's probably much safer close to home,
so, dinner and a movie, it will be.
Spaghetti and a family DVD."
Not even take the kids out to dinner and a movie ... Hey, sounds right to me! LOL, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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I'm not sure why it says prose, it is a poem. Thanks so much for reading it, I really appreciate it. :)
Comment from tfawcus
Your last line nails it. It's not where we go but who we're with. If nothing else, Covid has reminded us that there's no place like home. The art is not treating the break like a working bee!
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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Your last line nails it. It's not where we go but who we're with. If nothing else, Covid has reminded us that there's no place like home. The art is not treating the break like a working bee!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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You are very wise. :) Thanks so much for reading my poem. :)
