Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 74 "Football Chapter 45"
A mother faces life's struggles.

28 total reviews 
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Now MIlton Ivory has become a good samaritan. That is good and it means one more friend .
The chapter moves forward smoothly.Now more trouble may come via the in-laws.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Heather Burroughs
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Barbara, I enjoyed this chapter as much as the others. Your dialogue always seems effortless.
And your notes make everything come together. Thank you for sharing. Many blessings to you.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind reivew.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Excellent
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The dialog kept me interested but lost at times because I didn't know the cast of characters. Not your fault. I haven't read any other chapters. Good luck and congrats for your acheivements.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I have a character list at the bottom.
reply by Tom Horonzy on 08-Feb-2022
    Yes, I saw it and it helped greatly afterwards.
Comment from amahra
Excellent
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Good written action in this chapter, Barbara. Just one thing below:

Katherine released the breath[e] she'd been holding. [delete 'e'. It's breath not breathe]

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
    I just added that e. Now I will get rid of it.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another great chapter. It moves the story along nicely. I was a little confused with the part about Milton Ivory. I did not see him on your list of characters. It sounded like she and her in-laws have cancer.mIs that what you meant to portray?

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
    I'm sure he is in my character list, but I will check. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by eliz100 on 08-Feb-2022
    Your welcome.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

As always, good interaction between the characters and snappy, believable dialogue. You use the dialogue well to progress the plot, and it's always in character. Good writing.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Gabe does have a little of a temper. I wonder what the audience thought when he threw his hat on the ground. I hope his temper is only on the field and not in the relationship.

Have a nice visit with your mom. She'll love to have you come.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
    Yes, Gabe likes to win. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your writing is always well polished and edited. Your characters stay true to their designated roles. If you are happy with whatever your plot is, then keep going on that path. I hope it all works out well for you and your novel in the remaining six parts.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
    I have confidence that this book will do well. I write for a difference audience than you do. My audience likes my work. There are still plenty of us old fashioned people out there. Thank you.
reply by lancellot on 07-Feb-2022
    I wish you all the success in the world. You have writing talent, no doubt about that.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
    Thank you. I refuse to compromise my standards.
reply by lancellot on 07-Feb-2022
    It's not about the sexual standards. It is about the plot, character development, and goal of the story (the message the author is trying to convey).

    Years ago, when he was young, Eminem famously said, "Will Smith doesn't have to curse in his songs to sell records, well I do, so 'F' him and 'F' you too." Later, he said, " he was wrong about that. It wasn't the cursing or lack of, it was that Will Smith told relatable stories in his music."
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can see, that you are knee deep in it. For, chapter
45 is the bomb...and it looks like your headed to
the likes of Stardom!!! For, your writing skills are
superb. Keep Writing. And Stay Connected

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-This is an excellent chapter, barbara.
-I appreciated your notes and hope you
have a good visit with your mother.
-I enjoyed this chapter with everything that
was taking place and how it flowed from
one event to the next.
-It is nice to see the relationship of Katherine and Gabe flowering.
-I like how everyone in Katherine's circle is looking out for her.
-Her boys are very mature and understanding.
-The one wrinkle is her former in-laws. There isn't a good
enough word to describe them; their actions do it for them.
-At least Melton Ivory saw them for what they were.
-The discussion about the UT job was very good, too!

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Pam (respa) on 07-Feb-2022
    You are very welcome.