Reviews from

The Tor

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Mix"
Adventures around & upon a hill

9 total reviews 
Comment from papa55mike
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Creepy pasta plates, crop circles, and Stonehenge are all used in a family story. It sounds like dinner time around our table. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!

Have a great day, and Giod bless.
mike

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
    Thank for your amusing review. If you are interested in more, feel free to visit my portfolio. There is no need for any written reviews. Just enjoy more dinner time fodder.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have read a few of your earlier chapters, but have not yet caught up. Your writing is concise and a joy to read. It just so happens I was watching a piece on this very subject on TV last night. It's an intriguing premise that these two men did all this with boards and rope, but not as believable, at least not to me. Great chapter.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you are a believer. I guess it's easier for many to just believe they're man made. Remember there is no need to write any reviews for previous chapters. Just catch up & enjoy.
Comment from aryr
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was indeed a great continuation chapter, Liz. I would like to believe that Cordelia might have rigged the coin flip for cleaning the dreaded plate. Perhaps she knew that Madeline could cleanse her. It was great that the group got together but there were a fair number of foolish questions. Time for Madeline to make a change. Great job, very well done and greatly enjoyed.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your great review. It is good to see how it is coming across, getting responses about the plate washing. It was fun to put it in.
reply by aryr on 14-Feb-2022
    You are so welcome Liz, this was a great job.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed this one more than some others as I like people to talk to each other or have inner worries. It seems more personal that way and helps to understand the characters better. Don't think the comma should be here in this sentence. " . . . had (,) getting here."

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you enjoyed this as much as you did.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a good chapter that emphasizes once again the perceptions that the dowsers live with (I think you have worked this enough now), and discusses how the crop circles come to be. To me this is the value of this chapter that makes worth a five star rating.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you are following it well.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another interesting read, Liz. The plate washing was funny, and I love the discussion about the crop circles, especially the ending: to drip a drop of nitroglycerin into the mix. Well done.

A couple of things:
"Well, I'd better put a shield of protection around myself and get that plate washed.(")

"As soon as I got to the gathering of new friends." - this is an incomplete sentence and I'm not sure what you meant it to be attached to.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your helpful review. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
reply by Judy Lawless on 13-Feb-2022
    You're most welcome, Liz. :)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
    ***warm smile***
Comment from lyenochka
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I like how you described the sense of nervousness about the plate and there is a bit of humor added with:
"The whole time she was touching that plate she made horse-like whinnyings."
But who ended up washing that dish? Was the quarter "Heads" ?
It seems the "raking of energy" was the solution to bring peace to both.

One suggestion:
They were like I, (like me) OR you can say "like I was"
https://www.dailywritingtips.com/a-girl-like-i/

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your amusing review. I'm glad you're enjoying the 'series'.

    I just found this too:
    https://www.grammarbook.com/blog/pronouns/i-vs-me-review
    Like is a preposition in the context you identify. Pronouns following it are objects of the preposition. Therefore, use the object pronoun me. I struggled over originally. But didn't research it. Thank you. That's like the one I use telling about Linda & I rescuing the teens in the last book. It feels wrong to use me. I guess I was brought up obeying the rules so much I over correct.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another good chapter. The ladies are really growing on me. I would suggest, keeping an eye on the mixing of different speaker and actors within the same paragraph. I know it gets tricky with first person narratives.

Well done.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you are enjoying the ladies.
Comment from Eunice Amero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't believe in UFOS and those circles on the ground are many made. Lights in the sky are made by the army. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. The army clearly is up to something clandestine.
reply by Eunice Amero on 13-Feb-2022
    Sure you are welcome