Timeworn
A battle of timeworn love12 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Loved your personification of time in this poem! But I feel like this is about so much more as there is a yearning ("Their futures pleading for a new beginning." You eloquently used the metaphor of the clocks for two lives struggling to heal the past. Beautiful free verse!
Congratulations on the win!
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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Loved your personification of time in this poem! But I feel like this is about so much more as there is a yearning ("Their futures pleading for a new beginning." You eloquently used the metaphor of the clocks for two lives struggling to heal the past. Beautiful free verse!
Congratulations on the win!
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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Again, I thank you. I'm not much of a poet as it is out of my wheelhouse, but I do work on honing what I have written. It is always welcome therapy as you know to write a few verses here and there. Thank you, Helen.
Comment from JPGeo
I read a lot of stuff and this is just cool. If there's a metaphor it's lost on me but I don't care because it's clocks, man. Clocks, "There future pleading for a new beginning. There past burning in weighted hostility". Brilliant. "Frowzy", man I'm stealing that! So, clearly I like your stuff and will be watching for more.
Bravo and Cheers,
John
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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I read a lot of stuff and this is just cool. If there's a metaphor it's lost on me but I don't care because it's clocks, man. Clocks, "There future pleading for a new beginning. There past burning in weighted hostility". Brilliant. "Frowzy", man I'm stealing that! So, clearly I like your stuff and will be watching for more.
Bravo and Cheers,
John
Comment Written 17-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for the review, JP and the six stars are much appreciated. Please use "Frowzy" it's a great word, lol. thanks again.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Through the use of dramatically descriptive metaphors, you have conveyed a powerful message about time and how a relationship may fall into "disrepair" like old clocks. CONGRATS on your well-deserved win.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Through the use of dramatically descriptive metaphors, you have conveyed a powerful message about time and how a relationship may fall into "disrepair" like old clocks. CONGRATS on your well-deserved win.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for your review, Janice, and your congrats.
Comment from Wanderlust53
I'm at a loss for words. Your timeworn poem is beautiful, eloquent and resounds with truth of timeworn relationships. It is very moving. Easy to see how it was a contest winner.
Overall your writing is very enjoyable and moving. Thank you for sharing on this site.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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I'm at a loss for words. Your timeworn poem is beautiful, eloquent and resounds with truth of timeworn relationships. It is very moving. Easy to see how it was a contest winner.
Overall your writing is very enjoyable and moving. Thank you for sharing on this site.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for your review, and the six stars. Much appreciated.:)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I like so much of this however I have never, or maybe rarely, seen a piece structured such as yours. It makes sense and yet as is it made reading a challenge. Good luck.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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I like so much of this however I have never, or maybe rarely, seen a piece structured such as yours. It makes sense and yet as is it made reading a challenge. Good luck.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Tom. I appreciate the review.
Comment from LisaMay
The metaphoric imagery in your poem is graphic and profoundly moving. Stuck in the passage of time, now destined to be apart forever, trying to impose each on the other.... remember when? can we begin again? but they wear each other out, maybe even fight (the swinging arm). So gravity and age will win the day... not love.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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The metaphoric imagery in your poem is graphic and profoundly moving. Stuck in the passage of time, now destined to be apart forever, trying to impose each on the other.... remember when? can we begin again? but they wear each other out, maybe even fight (the swinging arm). So gravity and age will win the day... not love.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Lisa may for this beautiful interpretation.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem of broken hearts, Time Worn, personifies those grand old standing clocks which represent the conquest that time has always had over the timekeepers. You have created a rich image of these time pieces and perhaps the human counterparts.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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This poem of broken hearts, Time Worn, personifies those grand old standing clocks which represent the conquest that time has always had over the timekeepers. You have created a rich image of these time pieces and perhaps the human counterparts.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for the beautifully worded review. I appreciate it much.
Comment from Ricky1024
"Timeworn"
This is a contest entry based on the writing prompt broken hearts.
This read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
It was also, rich in Theme and Imagery.
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The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Good luck with this one.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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"Timeworn"
This is a contest entry based on the writing prompt broken hearts.
This read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
It was also, rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Good luck with this one.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind words and review, Ricky.
Comment from Maria Millsaps
At opposite ends of
an abandoned corridor. (sentence fragment)
I really liked how played with words to express a relationship that has gone impaired with time. Good luck.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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At opposite ends of
an abandoned corridor. (sentence fragment)
I really liked how played with words to express a relationship that has gone impaired with time. Good luck.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Maria, for the kind words and critique.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
From the moment each clock ticks and the hands move in the morning until they depart at the close of the day, time is counted. Not in a hurry-scurry manner, or the way that the world counts time, but in the sense that we are called to redeem the time by seconds, minutes and hours.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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From the moment each clock ticks and the hands move in the morning until they depart at the close of the day, time is counted. Not in a hurry-scurry manner, or the way that the world counts time, but in the sense that we are called to redeem the time by seconds, minutes and hours.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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Thank you for your review, Rosemary.
