Timeworn
A battle of timeworn love12 total reviews
Comment from Eunice Amero
Time worn is good. It is like saying that time races on no matter what it's arms are sit to or how we feel about it. It races on to get to that time when it's finally worn. Good work
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
  |
Time worn is good. It is like saying that time races on no matter what it's arms are sit to or how we feel about it. It races on to get to that time when it's finally worn. Good work
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
-
Thank you for your review, Eunice
-
You are very welcome.
Comment from kiwisteveh
This is a very clever and original poem. I love the imagery of the clocks and their timeworn battle. However, I think it is something of a stretch to make the connection to heartbreak and I suspect the voters will feel the same. Perhaps you are simply too subtle for me - and I do see how the clocks can be compared to arguing partners...
Nevertheless a compelling piece with startlingly original imagery. You make good use of wordplay around hands and faces. Maybe I should have declared it a striking piece.
Good luck.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
|
This is a very clever and original poem. I love the imagery of the clocks and their timeworn battle. However, I think it is something of a stretch to make the connection to heartbreak and I suspect the voters will feel the same. Perhaps you are simply too subtle for me - and I do see how the clocks can be compared to arguing partners...
Nevertheless a compelling piece with startlingly original imagery. You make good use of wordplay around hands and faces. Maybe I should have declared it a striking piece.
Good luck.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
-
Hi, Steve, thank you for the review. I knew it was a bit of a stretch, but already had it written and thought I'd squeeze it in under the clock, lol.
-
Actually, when I went back for a second and third look I could interpret it as a battle between two lovers! It was a little weird, but it sort of worked.
