Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Confessional"Musings of an old man - 2022
19 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
A wonderful poem about faith. I can remember sitting by a lady on a bus who was reading her rosery. The Holy Rosary is considered a perfect prayer because within it lies the awesome story of our salvation.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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A wonderful poem about faith. I can remember sitting by a lady on a bus who was reading her rosery. The Holy Rosary is considered a perfect prayer because within it lies the awesome story of our salvation.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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thank you so much
Comment from Janet Foor
Your Sestina about faith is masterfully done Jim. It looks like a challenging poetic form that requires patience and persistence to get it right and I think you have accomplished it with aplomb from start to finish. I am impressed with the message and form.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Your Sestina about faith is masterfully done Jim. It looks like a challenging poetic form that requires patience and persistence to get it right and I think you have accomplished it with aplomb from start to finish. I am impressed with the message and form.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Janet - Wow! What a wonderful Joy you have provided me with your six-star validation, I found this peotic form on Shadow Poetry and it pulled me right into this Faith presentation. Thanks very much.
Comment from nomi338
As I am not Catholic it is difficult for me to review this poem except on the merits of its poetic values. Poetically, it is a fine piece of work. Its construction and flow are free of any deficit that I could detect. So I would say good job.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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As I am not Catholic it is difficult for me to review this poem except on the merits of its poetic values. Poetically, it is a fine piece of work. Its construction and flow are free of any deficit that I could detect. So I would say good job.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Nomi thank you for plodding throught his 12th century poetic style.
Comment from Gloria ....
Very well done, J. There is plenty to like about your sestina, chief among them is your deft use of internal rhyme such as here:
to declare. With profound remorse and a sense of despair
to lend a poetic flair to the poem.
The only thing I would watch for are repeating words virtually in the next line such as here:
With a deep conviction, I sought his compassion to bear
my deeply troubled soul to relieve me from what held me tightly.
Also the last line in stanza four
forth the fruit of redemption and release from despair --- should end with grief.
Terrific work with this and many thanks for sharing today. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Very well done, J. There is plenty to like about your sestina, chief among them is your deft use of internal rhyme such as here:
to declare. With profound remorse and a sense of despair
to lend a poetic flair to the poem.
The only thing I would watch for are repeating words virtually in the next line such as here:
With a deep conviction, I sought his compassion to bear
my deeply troubled soul to relieve me from what held me tightly.
Also the last line in stanza four
forth the fruit of redemption and release from despair --- should end with grief.
Terrific work with this and many thanks for sharing today. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Gloria, you have a great set of eyes! Thanks for catching this one
off-kilter and the duplicity - I appreciate this!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A Sestina about faith
Confessional
by JLR
There's much healing in fully listening to family and friends ... Even strangers.
Well done my friend.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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A Sestina about faith
Confessional
by JLR
There's much healing in fully listening to family and friends ... Even strangers.
Well done my friend.
Gypsy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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That is why our maker gave us all one mouth and two ears ... :) listening is the key
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Did I misunderstand the following: the six ending words of the first stanza are repeated as the ending words of the other five stanzas in a set pattern.
I see no repetition for the additional five six line stanzas.
As for the piece submitted, the confessional could be a place of peace and relief for the believe. Paul even doubted his faith once upon the water but Christ was there to rescue him again.
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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Did I misunderstand the following: the six ending words of the first stanza are repeated as the ending words of the other five stanzas in a set pattern.
I see no repetition for the additional five six line stanzas.
As for the piece submitted, the confessional could be a place of peace and relief for the believe. Paul even doubted his faith once upon the water but Christ was there to rescue him again.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Tom, per my extensive notes, the repetitive end words of the first stanza in the first sestet are placed in each stanza throughout the other five sestets and ending with all six words placed in the middle and end of the envoy.
Comment from Bill Schott
This spiritual sestina, Confessional, has the proper formatting and covers an important, faith-based encounter that is designed to strengthen and purify one's position in spirituality and life.
I would render this work a six except for the end-word switch in the fourth stanza. "Despair" is duplicated and "grief" missing.
Great poem.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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This spiritual sestina, Confessional, has the proper formatting and covers an important, faith-based encounter that is designed to strengthen and purify one's position in spirituality and life.
I would render this work a six except for the end-word switch in the fourth stanza. "Despair" is duplicated and "grief" missing.
Great poem.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2022
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Great catch Bill thanks much
Comment from lyenochka
Oh my goodness! You're doing a sestina! Bravo! I think this is one of the most difficult forms of poetry. I tried it once and gave up!
This is a great entry to the Faith poem contest. Praise Jesus that He is our High Priest and we don't have to go to a physical confessional. It's wherever we can "cocoon tightly" and release our despair to Him.
Question:
With a deep conviction, I sought his compassion to give (shouldn't this end with "bear" ?)
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Oh my goodness! You're doing a sestina! Bravo! I think this is one of the most difficult forms of poetry. I tried it once and gave up!
This is a great entry to the Faith poem contest. Praise Jesus that He is our High Priest and we don't have to go to a physical confessional. It's wherever we can "cocoon tightly" and release our despair to Him.
Question:
With a deep conviction, I sought his compassion to give (shouldn't this end with "bear" ?)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Yes, most challenging and yes again very good catch! Thanks for the good wishes.
Comment from royowen
This is real period stuff Jim. You've grasped the poetic expression of yesteryear and brought it into the modern era. I don't like the naysayers who will poo poo it and say it doesn't belong the present day, they've often said that of mine. Beautifully written, and you've used a great expressive form, and not an easy form. Well done, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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This is real period stuff Jim. You've grasped the poetic expression of yesteryear and brought it into the modern era. I don't like the naysayers who will poo poo it and say it doesn't belong the present day, they've often said that of mine. Beautifully written, and you've used a great expressive form, and not an easy form. Well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2022
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Roy, thank you. This form was quite a new discovery for me and I thought the form evoked a faith narrative. I thank you?
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Bless you.
