When The Drought Broke
A messenger finds the way to move on.18 total reviews
Comment from Mia Twysted
I like the way it came together. The weaving of facts and backstory while telling what is happening in their present. I was in tune with the grandpa after hearing his thoughts. That made me closer to him and made the ending so much bigger for me because I cared. I want to see him move on as well. Live a happy life.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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I like the way it came together. The weaving of facts and backstory while telling what is happening in their present. I was in tune with the grandpa after hearing his thoughts. That made me closer to him and made the ending so much bigger for me because I cared. I want to see him move on as well. Live a happy life.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thanks for your very supportive comments. I'm pleased you had this response to my poem.
Comment from AliMom
Congratulations on your win. I love the detail in your stories. They give the characters life. "Whiskey-breath whiskers" and "he always enjoyed a tipple" give depth to grampa's character. Thank you for "dandled". I never could remember the proper term for giving a child a horsey ride on your knee. You resolved his pain and fear very nicely in the end.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Congratulations on your win. I love the detail in your stories. They give the characters life. "Whiskey-breath whiskers" and "he always enjoyed a tipple" give depth to grampa's character. Thank you for "dandled". I never could remember the proper term for giving a child a horsey ride on your knee. You resolved his pain and fear very nicely in the end.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thanks for your lovely comments about my story.
I used to squeal with delight at horsey rides.
Comment from Bill Schott
This supernatural story, When the Drought Broke, the haunting tale
leads to a happy ending when forgiveness finds the old man's weary mind. Uplifting.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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This supernatural story, When the Drought Broke, the haunting tale
leads to a happy ending when forgiveness finds the old man's weary mind. Uplifting.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Thanks Bill.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a clear and concise story with enough detail for the reader to understand exactly what you want to convey. It sounds as though the ghosts just wanted to leave a message, and little Julie received it. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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This is a clear and concise story with enough detail for the reader to understand exactly what you want to convey. It sounds as though the ghosts just wanted to leave a message, and little Julie received it. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Thanks for your wonderful review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Talking to strangers sometimes is not a good thing. There are too many kidnapers around. Was the little girl seeing spirits or ghosts? I have to give your story another read through.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Talking to strangers sometimes is not a good thing. There are too many kidnapers around. Was the little girl seeing spirits or ghosts? I have to give your story another read through.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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I've never quite understood the difference between spirits and ghosts... to me they are both supernatural beings.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Sweet tale. Enjoyable short story. Good luck. ........................................................................................................................
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Sweet tale. Enjoyable short story. Good luck. ........................................................................................................................
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Thanks Tom. I see you have found a clever solution to the character expectation for a review..........
Comment from cupa tea
Nice little story. I like your descriptions.
sagging old armchair, he bucked her up and down as if she were a mini rodeo rider.
I know you have a word count and I know mentally I already know it banged shut behind her. But the words Behind her just flowed in my mine and I missed them in the sentence. But it is not incorrect the way you have it.
leaving the door to bang shut.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Nice little story. I like your descriptions.
sagging old armchair, he bucked her up and down as if she were a mini rodeo rider.
I know you have a word count and I know mentally I already know it banged shut behind her. But the words Behind her just flowed in my mine and I missed them in the sentence. But it is not incorrect the way you have it.
leaving the door to bang shut.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Thanks for your review.
Coincidence! I actually did prune out 'behind her' because of adhering to word count, for exactly the reason you say. I figured it was obvious she'd gone into the room and the door was behind her, therefore the 2 words were unnecessary.
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exactly, it was obvious. I just missed it. I voted for you; so, I hope you win!
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I don't think my story will win, it is several votes behind already, but thanks very much for your vote of confidence!
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That's too bad. I think it was the best story presented.
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Well, the voting's not over yet... so maybe others will think like you do. Fingers crossed. Thanks for your support.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
You played with emotions here and did a superb job. At first, a terrified child runs to her grandfather who calms her down. His own guilt and grief is on display and then a message the child brings.
After months of draught a gentle rain falls, All is well with their world.
Good luck in the contest.
I truly enjoyed your story.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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You played with emotions here and did a superb job. At first, a terrified child runs to her grandfather who calms her down. His own guilt and grief is on display and then a message the child brings.
After months of draught a gentle rain falls, All is well with their world.
Good luck in the contest.
I truly enjoyed your story.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 20-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Mary. I made this one quite a gentle story.
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congratulations on winning the Valentine contest. Great job
Mary
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Thanks very much Mary.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An eerie write and I expected to see ghosts when I lost my loved ones, but I have never seen one, but I have felt a presence which could be my imagination, I felt myself believing your story here Lisa, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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An eerie write and I expected to see ghosts when I lost my loved ones, but I have never seen one, but I have felt a presence which could be my imagination, I felt myself believing your story here Lisa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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Imagination, wishful thinking, actual spirits... how can we really know. I've often seen my father in my backyard, and Jesus touched me once when I was distraught. I believe it, so it must be real??? Hmmm.
Comment from jessizero
This was a well-written piece that really captured the emotion of the characters. The ending was very sweet, and I appreciated it more than I can say. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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This was a well-written piece that really captured the emotion of the characters. The ending was very sweet, and I appreciated it more than I can say. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for your kind review!
