Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 76 "Football Chapter 47"A mother faces life's struggles.
27 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
This is such a heart warming story, it touches my heart deeply. A secret about me, I am a sucker for the romantic stuff. This story fits the bill perfectly.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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This is such a heart warming story, it touches my heart deeply. A secret about me, I am a sucker for the romantic stuff. This story fits the bill perfectly.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I'm a sucker for romance too. LOL
Comment from Ben Colder
It would be nice if more were like the couple you describe. Gabe seems to really care for this family. Once in a lifetime of finding a Prince Charming as this guy. Well done, Barb.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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It would be nice if more were like the couple you describe. Gabe seems to really care for this family. Once in a lifetime of finding a Prince Charming as this guy. Well done, Barb.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
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I am hooked on your story. You have done well with these characters. Not mentally into your new, but I am sure it will do well.
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I think you will like it too. At least I hope so.
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I will try and catch up.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I like and have enjoyed the read of this chapter of a huge novel about talking on and about anything and everything between Gabriel and Katherine; we know a lot more about the personality of Gabriel here; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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I like and have enjoyed the read of this chapter of a huge novel about talking on and about anything and everything between Gabriel and Katherine; we know a lot more about the personality of Gabriel here; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I think Katherine is softening her stance against marriage. You did a great job as usual. No errors found. Not that I ever do. Have a safe flight home. Shirley
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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I think Katherine is softening her stance against marriage. You did a great job as usual. No errors found. Not that I ever do. Have a safe flight home. Shirley
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
This story seem like a wonderful date Gabriel planned. Katherine is worried and I'd sure any women would be. Even if everything goes well, the idea of losing your hair must be traumatic.
You thought of very thing." Did you mean thought of everything?
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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This story seem like a wonderful date Gabriel planned. Katherine is worried and I'd sure any women would be. Even if everything goes well, the idea of losing your hair must be traumatic.
You thought of very thing." Did you mean thought of everything?
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I made the correction.
Comment from lancellot
"Sort of. I guess your answer would be, it would've been nice, but wasn't in the cards, and Mom and we are worth it."
-This is nice, and it's sort of addresses questions a reader may have, but then it sort of doesn't. It tells but doesn't show. Gabe only says Kate is special. What does that mean?
Only 69 days (two months), cancer, divorced, four kids, legal issues, sexual and intimacy issues, job issues
That's a lot. I give you credit saying Kate is special, but... Do you see what I mean? You don't have to change what you like, but in a Romance novel, there should be reasons pulling people together, right?
Two months and they want to get married. how many actual dates have they gone on? Have went on a trip alone together? Have they don't more than a lip kiss? These should be smart people, and a woman with four kids. Would she really consider marrying a new man after only two months?
Solution: 1) Take out that 69 days in the beginning. Leave it ambiguous or make six or nine months later. Time is relative in books.
2) Have Gabe speak with an adult male, a friend (the Principal maybe). And then he could list and describe all the wonderful things that attracts him to Kate.
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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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"Sort of. I guess your answer would be, it would've been nice, but wasn't in the cards, and Mom and we are worth it."
-This is nice, and it's sort of addresses questions a reader may have, but then it sort of doesn't. It tells but doesn't show. Gabe only says Kate is special. What does that mean?
Only 69 days (two months), cancer, divorced, four kids, legal issues, sexual and intimacy issues, job issues
That's a lot. I give you credit saying Kate is special, but... Do you see what I mean? You don't have to change what you like, but in a Romance novel, there should be reasons pulling people together, right?
Two months and they want to get married. how many actual dates have they gone on? Have went on a trip alone together? Have they don't more than a lip kiss? These should be smart people, and a woman with four kids. Would she really consider marrying a new man after only two months?
Solution: 1) Take out that 69 days in the beginning. Leave it ambiguous or make six or nine months later. Time is relative in books.
2) Have Gabe speak with an adult male, a friend (the Principal maybe). And then he could list and describe all the wonderful things that attracts him to Kate.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I am taking what you're saying under consideration.
Comment from prettybluebirds
This is the first I have read any of your stories. The only thing you might want to change is the word (embraced) I think (embracing) would sound better. You're the writer, though, so whatever you think is best. It's a well-written story and easy to follow and understand. I will watch for more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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This is the first I have read any of your stories. The only thing you might want to change is the word (embraced) I think (embracing) would sound better. You're the writer, though, so whatever you think is best. It's a well-written story and easy to follow and understand. I will watch for more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I've had editors tell me not to use words ending with 'ing' unless absolutely necessary.
