Tanka Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Daydreaming Again"Romantic Tanka Poems
7 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
At the end of this poem, we see not merely great sorrow, but also how a person does not really understand the past, and after a deception even deceives herself.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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At the end of this poem, we see not merely great sorrow, but also how a person does not really understand the past, and after a deception even deceives herself.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much, Mark. I appreciate your six stars and exceptional review.
Gypsy
Comment from AP Apgar
I like this poem - picturing youth filled with dreams and hopes under the tree of life - soon to learn -over a lifetime - how to be ' specific about what she wishes for' and developing the art of "creating " non-bitter fruit- in her life. Avoid ing delusional and diffuse prayers. Wisdom. Good Job
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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I like this poem - picturing youth filled with dreams and hopes under the tree of life - soon to learn -over a lifetime - how to be ' specific about what she wishes for' and developing the art of "creating " non-bitter fruit- in her life. Avoid ing delusional and diffuse prayers. Wisdom. Good Job
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This poem is so sad about a lost love. I really hope she will find true love instead of dreaming about it. Falling love needs action. Day dreaming will not help. Go and get him.
Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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This poem is so sad about a lost love. I really hope she will find true love instead of dreaming about it. Falling love needs action. Day dreaming will not help. Go and get him.
Well done.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much, Lisa. I appreciate your kind review.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
What a fantastic picture, Gypsy. The words of your Kaikai poem showed definitely a daydreamer in a tree with the refusal to return home because it is empty. Wonderfully well done, greatly but sadly enjoyed. Blessed be n hugs!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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What a fantastic picture, Gypsy. The words of your Kaikai poem showed definitely a daydreamer in a tree with the refusal to return home because it is empty. Wonderfully well done, greatly but sadly enjoyed. Blessed be n hugs!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your time and review. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
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You are most welcome, Gypsy, blessed be n hugs!
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy----and I like the way you describe a dysfuntional home life----bitteraweet fruit in your deathly empy house--brings the description alive
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Another fine poem, Gypsy----and I like the way you describe a dysfuntional home life----bitteraweet fruit in your deathly empy house--brings the description alive
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much Mike. I appreciate your kind and detailed review.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
Your kaikai / haikai (you have kaikai in your description) reminds me of the tanka and it pivots from the tree of hopes to the "bittersweet fruit" as we realize the loved one is gone by the end of the poem. Well done!
Suggestion:
with delusional notions. (This is 8 syllables and I wondered if you meant delusional or disillusioned ? Maybe shorten notions to dreams?)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Your kaikai / haikai (you have kaikai in your description) reminds me of the tanka and it pivots from the tree of hopes to the "bittersweet fruit" as we realize the loved one is gone by the end of the poem. Well done!
Suggestion:
with delusional notions. (This is 8 syllables and I wondered if you meant delusional or disillusioned ? Maybe shorten notions to dreams?)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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I'm confused, I wrote haikai everywhere in the poem.
I can't use dream for two reasons, I don't want to repeat dreams and day dreaming. Second I need 7 syllables in the last line. I checked the thesaurus but if notions sounds bad I can look for a different one.
Thank you very much for your detailed and kind review with good feedback.
Gypsy sister hugs :)
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No, then keep it notions. the "kaikai" was in the description line.
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It's supposed to be kaikai. I can't find a misspelling, now is going to drive crazy LoL I'll check again, but you are saying kaikai and that's the right spelling.
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I changed it to desires, it sounds better :)
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In your explanatory notes it says "HAIKAI is a Japanese comic poetry form,"
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Oh, okay now I get it. Thank you 😊
Comment from royowen
I've always been a daydreamer, and I've passed to my talented offspring, and grandsons, but delusional? Perhaps not, but we can be so imaginative, we can become too imaginative, well done Gypsy, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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I've always been a daydreamer, and I've passed to my talented offspring, and grandsons, but delusional? Perhaps not, but we can be so imaginative, we can become too imaginative, well done Gypsy, blessings Roy
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much for the review, Roy.
Gypsy hugs
