The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Return Chapter 10"Erotic Turmoil
36 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This story contains some science fiction. The characters are traveling back in time. That is what Margot and Bessie are up to. I wonder how Meg died. Bessie and Margot are going back in time for this reason.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
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This story contains some science fiction. The characters are traveling back in time. That is what Margot and Bessie are up to. I wonder how Meg died. Bessie and Margot are going back in time for this reason.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Rosemary, for going back to read this chapter, I really appreciate that. Meg fell off her horse and broke her neck, but Bessie discovered the saddle had been tampered with. Now it's Margot's and job to find out who did it, and Bessie is there to help her. Fun times ahead! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from lancellot
Well, that helps explain a few things. I liked chapter 11 so much, I was compelled to go back. This is excellent. Like Sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and romance all wrapped into one novel. And again, excellent writing.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2022
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Well, that helps explain a few things. I liked chapter 11 so much, I was compelled to go back. This is excellent. Like Sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and romance all wrapped into one novel. And again, excellent writing.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2022
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Thank you again, Lancellot, for another fabulous review and another golden star. I'm over the moon that you enjoyed chapter 11 enough to want to know more. Thank you!! Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from nomi338
This is a very involved and somewhat confusing tale of love beyond the pale of centuries old love being revisited by a double for someone long dead, but somehow alive through the existence of that double. Whew! Nevertheless, I am hooked and determined to go along for as long as the story goes on.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
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This is a very involved and somewhat confusing tale of love beyond the pale of centuries old love being revisited by a double for someone long dead, but somehow alive through the existence of that double. Whew! Nevertheless, I am hooked and determined to go along for as long as the story goes on.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
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Aw, Thank you so much for this lovely review, Nomi. I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story. There are some twists and turns coming up soon. :)) Warm hugs, my dear friend. Have a wonderful day. Sandra xx
Comment from F. William Lester
I always enjoy your writing. If Miles is as much a "gorgeous hunk of man" as you say, Margo's in trouble. A couple of phrases caught my eye: "His soft, provocative voice was more like a caress; seductive, yet gently teasing." Nice. "He gave a rascally grin..." I laughed out loud at that one. Comments: "Miles pushed the errant lock of his hair back from his eyes..." I think "an errant lock" opposed to "the errant lock" would be better since there was no previous mention of any "errant locks" of hair. Another point that I am constantly critiqued is overstating the obvious. Say enough for the reader to get the picture and say no more. For example: "Miles stood up and looked down into Meg's upturned face." A better phrase would be "Miles looked into Meg's upturned face." Let the reader decide whether he is sitting or standing. It's not important to the story. And the word down is redundant. If he is looking into her upturned face, he's looking down at her. Give the reader enough to know what is happening, but don't state the obvious. I've found it helps my writing and quickens the pace of the story. I hope these comments are helpful. It's a good story. Looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks for sharing it. Stay well, my friend.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
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I always enjoy your writing. If Miles is as much a "gorgeous hunk of man" as you say, Margo's in trouble. A couple of phrases caught my eye: "His soft, provocative voice was more like a caress; seductive, yet gently teasing." Nice. "He gave a rascally grin..." I laughed out loud at that one. Comments: "Miles pushed the errant lock of his hair back from his eyes..." I think "an errant lock" opposed to "the errant lock" would be better since there was no previous mention of any "errant locks" of hair. Another point that I am constantly critiqued is overstating the obvious. Say enough for the reader to get the picture and say no more. For example: "Miles stood up and looked down into Meg's upturned face." A better phrase would be "Miles looked into Meg's upturned face." Let the reader decide whether he is sitting or standing. It's not important to the story. And the word down is redundant. If he is looking into her upturned face, he's looking down at her. Give the reader enough to know what is happening, but don't state the obvious. I've found it helps my writing and quickens the pace of the story. I hope these comments are helpful. It's a good story. Looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks for sharing it. Stay well, my friend.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for this really detailed review, Frank, your suggestions are not only very helpful, but has made me realise I have more to sort out when I do my final edit of the whole book. I really appreciated this review, my friend, and I'm so glad you are following me. Thank you! :)) Sandra xxx
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Glad I can help. I always enjoy your writing. Be well.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Sandra,
After reading this chapter, I was enticed to read the first installment.
Your dialogue is believable and your premise has nice twists concerning time travel.
Congrats on the number one ranking for a March.
One error I found: I wish that it was "he" who died...
After a being verb: is, was, etc. , the nominative case is used. The objective case is not (him).
This is such a minor that does not detract from your poignant love story.
I hope you stay well and have a wonderful summer--I can't wait for the warmth.
Blessings, Cindy
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2022
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Sandra,
After reading this chapter, I was enticed to read the first installment.
Your dialogue is believable and your premise has nice twists concerning time travel.
Congrats on the number one ranking for a March.
One error I found: I wish that it was "he" who died...
After a being verb: is, was, etc. , the nominative case is used. The objective case is not (him).
This is such a minor that does not detract from your poignant love story.
I hope you stay well and have a wonderful summer--I can't wait for the warmth.
Blessings, Cindy
Comment Written 09-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for another lovely review, Cindy
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Wow. Your book is very popular and I'm not surprised. It's a romantic ghost story, I think. I like it you go back and forth between two periods and between the appearance of two similar characters Meg and Margo.
Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2022
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Wow. Your book is very popular and I'm not surprised. It's a romantic ghost story, I think. I like it you go back and forth between two periods and between the appearance of two similar characters Meg and Margo.
Well done.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2022
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Aw, thank you so much, Jasmine, I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading this part. Yes, it is a romantic story, with some twists. I hope you continue to pop by and read more. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
I'm convinced Bessie is an angel. It must be possible for them to set things right in the past, or she would know it. I think they'll succeed. But if Miles and Meg get married, what happens to Margot in the future?
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2022
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I'm convinced Bessie is an angel. It must be possible for them to set things right in the past, or she would know it. I think they'll succeed. But if Miles and Meg get married, what happens to Margot in the future?
Comment Written 08-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2022
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You are not the only one to believe Bessie is an angel, I've not been told anything yet, so I can't confirm or deny it! Lol!!!
Thank you so much, Cindy, I really loved your review. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from dmt1967
'Margot and Bessie waited while Miles checked his horse was stabled for the night. When he was satisfied, he beckoned the women to join him.'
You have already told the reader this in the previous chapter. Maybe, (Margot and Bessie waited. They saw Miles speak to a stable hand for a few minutes, turn, and beckon them to join him.)
Thank you for sharing and tae care. Another great chapter.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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'Margot and Bessie waited while Miles checked his horse was stabled for the night. When he was satisfied, he beckoned the women to join him.'
You have already told the reader this in the previous chapter. Maybe, (Margot and Bessie waited. They saw Miles speak to a stable hand for a few minutes, turn, and beckon them to join him.)
Thank you for sharing and tae care. Another great chapter.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for this great review, and the pick-up. I've changed that sentence as you were completely right. Thanks for that. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Each chapter gets better and better than the last one, Sandra. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this one. You did a great job. You gave readers details about the situation which created great imagery. This chapter contains good intrigue and 'time travel.' I see the 'instant spark that lit up Miles and Margot's eyes as more than love--it's like a transfer of imagery between them. I believe the way Miles' memory is fading is a set up for him to appear in Meg's time when she returns. Then she and he can marry. Of course Meg will have solved the murder--along with Miles and Bessie's help. Bessie is one who can travel back and forth to different periods of time at will, otherwise how can she appear whenever there is a need of her help?
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Each chapter gets better and better than the last one, Sandra. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this one. You did a great job. You gave readers details about the situation which created great imagery. This chapter contains good intrigue and 'time travel.' I see the 'instant spark that lit up Miles and Margot's eyes as more than love--it's like a transfer of imagery between them. I believe the way Miles' memory is fading is a set up for him to appear in Meg's time when she returns. Then she and he can marry. Of course Meg will have solved the murder--along with Miles and Bessie's help. Bessie is one who can travel back and forth to different periods of time at will, otherwise how can she appear whenever there is a need of her help?
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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aw, Thank you, Jan! I love all your reviews. You are the only one who has caught on about what and who Bessie is. I think I could write a series about her ... a Time Travelling Detective! Lol.
Thank you so much, Jan, for the wonderful review and the six stars, I really appreciate all your input. Warm hugs, dear freind. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
How frustrating for poor Margot. At least Miles has Meg to go home to! Putting the two scenes next to each other reinforces the point. Nothing like a bit of unrequited passion to stir the hearts of your readers!
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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How frustrating for poor Margot. At least Miles has Meg to go home to! Putting the two scenes next to each other reinforces the point. Nothing like a bit of unrequited passion to stir the hearts of your readers!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Hi Tony, thank you for your lovely review. There are some twists coming along in the story, but not yet. Lol. Thanks so much for the shiny six stars, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
