The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Return Chapter 10"Erotic Turmoil
36 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
Hi Sandra, Miles sounds like every women's
dreams guy...or at least mine...sad thing is...
their a rare breed...sigh...
now...Bessie said her and Margot were there to find out what happened...I believe she is some kind of time traveler...
sent by someone...and will be revealed when your spaceship lands...
but they better move fast...sounds like Miles in on borrowed
time...
and ya kind of hate to see Margot have to leave without him...I'm working on how that will turn out...stand by...
way to go my amazing friend...this is an awesome chapter...
when you walk away from writing to take a break...does the
story follow you around???...I loveeeeee it sweet girl...
truly Sandra...I said it before...this is one of your best...soooooooo very well written you...sending my love in bunches...ð???ð??»ð?¤?ð???ð???ð??? Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
  |
Hi Sandra, Miles sounds like every women's
dreams guy...or at least mine...sad thing is...
their a rare breed...sigh...
now...Bessie said her and Margot were there to find out what happened...I believe she is some kind of time traveler...
sent by someone...and will be revealed when your spaceship lands...
but they better move fast...sounds like Miles in on borrowed
time...
and ya kind of hate to see Margot have to leave without him...I'm working on how that will turn out...stand by...
way to go my amazing friend...this is an awesome chapter...
when you walk away from writing to take a break...does the
story follow you around???...I loveeeeee it sweet girl...
truly Sandra...I said it before...this is one of your best...soooooooo very well written you...sending my love in bunches...ð???ð??»ð?¤?ð???ð???ð??? Linda xxoo
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
-
Sorry Linda, he's all mine!!!!! I, as the author, take first choice. You can have Miles' dad!! Lol!
Thank you so much dear lady, for this amazing review and for the sixth star award!
Bessie is an inigma, for sure. I've been asking her for weeks to tell me where she's from, but she's keeping it to herself. I'll get Margot to snoop around, she might turn up some answers! I need her help! LOL!
Yes, Miles will forget who they are and why there are they are there soon, and he'll forget his Meg is in danger, but Margot and Bessie are ready to take over now. Such fun ahead.
I'm really glad you think this story is good, Linda, that really made my day. You always do, come to that!
An orchard full of love coming your way, my friend, and loads of hugs. Say hi to everyone for me! :)) Sandra xxxxxx
-
Hi Sandra, in case you haven't notice when you look across the dinner table...your taken...
OH you definitely need some help...that jacket you wear around the house...don't let Graham tell you it's for warmth...he's keeping a secret from you...boy if that ain't true love...
not sure I like the idea of Miles losing his
memory...but I guess I'm not sure I like the idea of me losing mine as well...and yours...dododo...only time will tell...
well, Noah just got done with his bath...and he's making a dinosaur stew...yum...
Ok reach for the sky...
love you my amazing friend..."soooooooo bigggggg"...and your sooooooo welcome...Linda xxoo
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Sandra Ooooh well done Caught up again Cpts 9 and 10
And loved the way you have created this story 2 Megs for him to contend with. (He does sound a bit yummy also ha ha)
A great read do far More please
Cheers Chrisxx
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
|
Hi Sandra Ooooh well done Caught up again Cpts 9 and 10
And loved the way you have created this story 2 Megs for him to contend with. (He does sound a bit yummy also ha ha)
A great read do far More please
Cheers Chrisxx
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
-
Hi, Chris, thank you so much for reading both parts, I'm glad you enjoyed them, and thank you soooo much for the golden star!! Miles is my idea of a dream man, but unattainable in real life! Lol. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from blondie560
I was getting a little jealous of Margot describing Miles!
Bessie and Margot are set out to stop Meg's accident, but doesn't that mean history will be re-written? Will the cosmos be able to handle it? I love thinking of the possibilities when it's fantasy and you don't have to be logical because it wouldn't happen. I have a theory where your story might head, but I'm excited to read more, and to see if I'm even on track. It's nice to be able to escape all the bad things happening by reading good stories like yours. Hugs :) Sally
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
|
I was getting a little jealous of Margot describing Miles!
Bessie and Margot are set out to stop Meg's accident, but doesn't that mean history will be re-written? Will the cosmos be able to handle it? I love thinking of the possibilities when it's fantasy and you don't have to be logical because it wouldn't happen. I have a theory where your story might head, but I'm excited to read more, and to see if I'm even on track. It's nice to be able to escape all the bad things happening by reading good stories like yours. Hugs :) Sally
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
Miles is my fantacy man!! Lol.
No, stopping Meg's murder won't change anything because they don't have children, but Meg's brother will, which is neccessary as you will soon understand. But there are some twists in the story coming up soon. Thank you so much for another lovely review, and that beautiful golden star, Sally, your the best!! Have a wonderful week, my friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is a really good chapter, Sandra.
-We learn some interesting things about Miles and what he can and cannot do as far as time traveling is concerned.
-The dialogue with Bessie, Margot, and Miles was very good, and you show the connection between Miles and Margot very well.
-You leave us wondering how Bessie was involved, and Miles seemed to remember her, but he also started being confused with some of his thoughts.
-Bessie's explanation to Margot was interesting when she said it won't be long before he forgets time traveling and them.
-You build the suspense well because time is of the essence.
-I can't help but wonder is Meg is already pregnant but not aware of it yet.
-I look forward to seeing where all of this goes and what the father and brother of Miles is like. I am sure they are not the friendly sort!!!
-Well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
|
-This is a really good chapter, Sandra.
-We learn some interesting things about Miles and what he can and cannot do as far as time traveling is concerned.
-The dialogue with Bessie, Margot, and Miles was very good, and you show the connection between Miles and Margot very well.
-You leave us wondering how Bessie was involved, and Miles seemed to remember her, but he also started being confused with some of his thoughts.
-Bessie's explanation to Margot was interesting when she said it won't be long before he forgets time traveling and them.
-You build the suspense well because time is of the essence.
-I can't help but wonder is Meg is already pregnant but not aware of it yet.
-I look forward to seeing where all of this goes and what the father and brother of Miles is like. I am sure they are not the friendly sort!!!
-Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, Pam, it will be moving on now to the detecting part. I've a few twists coming soon. (●'◡'●)
What I liked about your review is how you've picked out parts that I was unsure of, the dialogue between Bessie, Margot and Miles. It's getting it to sound natural that is the hardest part. So your comments were more than encouraging! Now I can go to bed with a smile on my face and not worry!! Thank you so much, my dear friend, and a big hug for the golden sixth star! :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment from damommy
Aha! So they've already been intimate. Luckily for now, no pregnancy. I've been wondering. If Margot is unsuccessful in saving Meg, does that mean she would die, too, in Meg's time? Has Margot disappeared from her time for now? Hmmmm.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
|
Aha! So they've already been intimate. Luckily for now, no pregnancy. I've been wondering. If Margot is unsuccessful in saving Meg, does that mean she would die, too, in Meg's time? Has Margot disappeared from her time for now? Hmmmm.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
Meg and Miles have, but not Margot. She's still a virgin. Now, you should know I'm not going to tell you what happens to Margot if she saves Meg, but I will tell you, I don't do unhappy endings!!! Lol. Thank you so much, dear STAP, for another wonderful review and the golden star, I'm so pleased you are still enjoying the story. Love and hugs, dear sister. :)) Sandra xxx
-
I AM!
Comment from Pantygynt
This still a great tale of romance and intrigue and I liked the way you had Margot go all indignant with Miles to begin with before she became bewitched by his charisma.
I found this sentence a tad clumsy:
'But it was the emotions that overtook her that were her problem, being the most scandalous, but incredibly breath-taking feelings of raw passion she'd ever felt.'
The doubled 'that' early on didn't help, and I thought it might be better to make two sentences of it. How about this?
'But it was the emotions overtaking her that were the problem. They were the most scandalous, but incredibly breath-taking feelings of raw passion she had ever felt.'
There are a number of occasions outside direct speech when you use contractions (she'd) and I think these are better reserved for use only in direct speech as they are there to mimic it.
I am not sure what date Miles is in I sort of feel it is 19th century so:
'You must have found it surreal travelling back to my century and coming face to face with yourself...' This is said by Miles in his own time. So, the word 'surreal' dates from the 1930s and while I know you are playing ducks and drakes with time, but isn't this a bit of an anachronism?
These are minor niggles in what is overall a great story.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
|
This still a great tale of romance and intrigue and I liked the way you had Margot go all indignant with Miles to begin with before she became bewitched by his charisma.
I found this sentence a tad clumsy:
'But it was the emotions that overtook her that were her problem, being the most scandalous, but incredibly breath-taking feelings of raw passion she'd ever felt.'
The doubled 'that' early on didn't help, and I thought it might be better to make two sentences of it. How about this?
'But it was the emotions overtaking her that were the problem. They were the most scandalous, but incredibly breath-taking feelings of raw passion she had ever felt.'
There are a number of occasions outside direct speech when you use contractions (she'd) and I think these are better reserved for use only in direct speech as they are there to mimic it.
I am not sure what date Miles is in I sort of feel it is 19th century so:
'You must have found it surreal travelling back to my century and coming face to face with yourself...' This is said by Miles in his own time. So, the word 'surreal' dates from the 1930s and while I know you are playing ducks and drakes with time, but isn't this a bit of an anachronism?
These are minor niggles in what is overall a great story.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
Minor niggles, but very important. I know this is fiction, but I should have checked 'surreal' out before I added it to the chapter. Thanks, Jim. I'll go over those contractions, you're right about that as well!!! What an idiot I am! I'm sure you would normally have given me a five, so thank you so very much!! :)) I've made the corrections now, thanks so much, my friend. Glad to have you back again. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Margot is having a tough time ignoring her strong attraction to Miles. He is stirring up some strong sensual feelings she
needs to ignore if they will be able to do the job they have set out to do. Well done dear. Nancy
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
 |
Margot is having a tough time ignoring her strong attraction to Miles. He is stirring up some strong sensual feelings she
needs to ignore if they will be able to do the job they have set out to do. Well done dear. Nancy
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
Yes, she is, and it's going to get worse. At least she has some investigating to do, to take her mind off him. Thanks so much, dear Nancy, for this lovely review. I'm so pleased you are still enjoying it. Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Ulla
Aw, that was a great chapter, Sandra. I can see that the passion between them can be a problem for Margot. And I also agree with Bessie. Miles need to forget about Margot in present time. You write this so very well, my friend. The whole concept is fascinating. A hug, Ulla xxxx
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
|
Aw, that was a great chapter, Sandra. I can see that the passion between them can be a problem for Margot. And I also agree with Bessie. Miles need to forget about Margot in present time. You write this so very well, my friend. The whole concept is fascinating. A hug, Ulla xxxx
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
Aw, thank you, Ulla. Yes, Miles would feel that way seeing Margot, he still thinks of her as his Meg. But Margot knows his love isn't for her, and she has to cope with that. Thank you for that golden star, my friend. Love and hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from judiverse
This is so intriguing. Margo is really stunned when she goes back into the past. Miles is proving irresistible. Still, they decide to work on how Meg was killed. Miles's father is someone to look into, and so is Meg's brothers. Miles's love for Meg is so strong he vows he won't marry any other woman and will deny his father a grandchild to carry on the line. You did a great job of handling the time travel. I wonder if Bessie was deliberately sent away on some work so she wouldn't know what was happening to Meg. judi
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
|
This is so intriguing. Margo is really stunned when she goes back into the past. Miles is proving irresistible. Still, they decide to work on how Meg was killed. Miles's father is someone to look into, and so is Meg's brothers. Miles's love for Meg is so strong he vows he won't marry any other woman and will deny his father a grandchild to carry on the line. You did a great job of handling the time travel. I wonder if Bessie was deliberately sent away on some work so she wouldn't know what was happening to Meg. judi
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
Thank you, Judi, for another wonderful review, and for those six shiny stars. I'm over the moon with your comments, it's so nice to know you are still enjoying my story. Thank you so very much, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra, xxx
-
You're welcome. I'm really enjoying the story. I'm glad that you brought in the element of mystery, too. judi
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I completely enjoyed reading this post. You did a wonderful job writing. I enjoyed Miles and Margot's interaction. It was genuine and fun. Thank you for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
|
I completely enjoyed reading this post. You did a wonderful job writing. I enjoyed Miles and Margot's interaction. It was genuine and fun. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
Thank you so much, Barbara, for this really lovely review, and all the stars!! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Lots of twists coming up!! :)) Sandra xxx
