Let Me Tell Y'all a Story
Imaginative take on hillbilly visit12 total reviews
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
I guess I need to duplicate my last review to you about loving the back hills feel of your writing, to my comparison of Festus! ! Awesome job my dear friend! I just can't get enough & I am a far cry from a country girl! We do however own a farm that we recently inherited from his folks, and just rent out the 80 acres for a bean and corn crop. This was so much fun to read, and as much as you had stiff competition in this contest, you get my vote!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
  |
I guess I need to duplicate my last review to you about loving the back hills feel of your writing, to my comparison of Festus! ! Awesome job my dear friend! I just can't get enough & I am a far cry from a country girl! We do however own a farm that we recently inherited from his folks, and just rent out the 80 acres for a bean and corn crop. This was so much fun to read, and as much as you had stiff competition in this contest, you get my vote!
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
-
I'll do my best to keep you entertained my friend. thanks for dropping in.
Comment from pome lover
That is a neat story (and picture).
I do hafta say that if " the cah is pahkd" is how Bostonians speak, they're not too fah off from Georgians (my origin), except I imagine we say it a bit slowah.
Anyway, I enjoyed your story and laughed at the names, Cooter and Dwayne. Perfect. And Harvard Yard was a surprise.
Imaginative story with an unexpected ending. Very nice.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
|
That is a neat story (and picture).
I do hafta say that if " the cah is pahkd" is how Bostonians speak, they're not too fah off from Georgians (my origin), except I imagine we say it a bit slowah.
Anyway, I enjoyed your story and laughed at the names, Cooter and Dwayne. Perfect. And Harvard Yard was a surprise.
Imaginative story with an unexpected ending. Very nice.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
-
Thanks for the review and comments. What have you written recently?
-
Have been entering blind contests (and not winning) but I have one ready for the dialogue contest in April. Am working on a story book for children 4-7 for the Institute of Children's Literature contest - world-wide contest. It's been a while since I wrote one. I used to base some of them on things my granddaughter said or did, and now she's 22!
Trying to get away from politics as I get too angry.
Comment from Terry Broxson
An excellent story for this contest, good luck. A prompt for the format of this contest said to have fun. I believed you did! Your references to West by-God Virginie were terrific. Very well-done. Terry.
|
An excellent story for this contest, good luck. A prompt for the format of this contest said to have fun. I believed you did! Your references to West by-God Virginie were terrific. Very well-done. Terry.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
Comment from robyn corum
Tom,
So, this was a dream? And you are determined to relate it exactly - with all the nonsense? Confusing, really.
I enjoyed the first part. I even liked the idea that these guys weren't interested in company - just firing off the scattergun. Sending you back on your merry way. I didn't get what the turnpike's construction had to do with the STORY.
Other:
1.) In a vision, I saw two men, Cooter and Dwayne, beyond a field of cotton bolls, whitening in the summer sun.
--> right now you have the men whitening in the sun *smile* Remove the last comma:
--> In a vision, I saw two men, Cooter and Dwayne, beyond a field of cotton bolls whitening in the summer sun.
2.) Beside the hand-hewn, oaken-legged table lay a jug of hooch on the floor
--> 'sat' - unless it's pouring out
3.) Sadly, the state's turnpike, which began construction in nineteen-fifty-two, remains in disrepair.
--> why is this here? - I see later that you are gonna be adding a little more on this topic - but this is incongruous when it appears suddenly.
4.) sign which anyone could recognize as the state's unfinished turnpike.
--> she was holding the turnpike. hmmm...
I'd suggest an edit. But you are welcome to disagree - folks mostly do. *smile* Thanks a bunch - the piece was really well-written, deserving of the five.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
|
Tom,
So, this was a dream? And you are determined to relate it exactly - with all the nonsense? Confusing, really.
I enjoyed the first part. I even liked the idea that these guys weren't interested in company - just firing off the scattergun. Sending you back on your merry way. I didn't get what the turnpike's construction had to do with the STORY.
Other:
1.) In a vision, I saw two men, Cooter and Dwayne, beyond a field of cotton bolls, whitening in the summer sun.
--> right now you have the men whitening in the sun *smile* Remove the last comma:
--> In a vision, I saw two men, Cooter and Dwayne, beyond a field of cotton bolls whitening in the summer sun.
2.) Beside the hand-hewn, oaken-legged table lay a jug of hooch on the floor
--> 'sat' - unless it's pouring out
3.) Sadly, the state's turnpike, which began construction in nineteen-fifty-two, remains in disrepair.
--> why is this here? - I see later that you are gonna be adding a little more on this topic - but this is incongruous when it appears suddenly.
4.) sign which anyone could recognize as the state's unfinished turnpike.
--> she was holding the turnpike. hmmm...
I'd suggest an edit. But you are welcome to disagree - folks mostly do. *smile* Thanks a bunch - the piece was really well-written, deserving of the five.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
-
I wrote for fun. It wasn't a dream. It is fictitious. The whitening was to the bolls of cotton. Grammarly found no mistakes as written. The WVA turnpike has been a joke since it began. I toured playing college basketball in the early days when there was no interstate. WVA is all mountains. Flood, landslides always were the news of the day. and the boy's mother worked on the road crew. She was hired as a road crew member. Nepotism is common for the state.
-
hahaha! Tom, you should know by now that Grammarly isn't perfect. You are welcome to disagree. That's fine. But I just hope you understood what I was saying?
-
I wrote for fun. It wasn't a dream. It is fictitious. The whitening was to the bolls of cotton. Grammarly found no mistakes as written. The WVA turnpike has been a joke since it began. I toured playing college basketball in the early days when there was no interstate. WVA is all mountains. Flood, landslides always were the news of the day. and the boy's mother worked on the road crew. She was hired as a road crew member. Nepotism is common for the state.
Comment from Earl Corp
The picture looks like the cabin the Clampetts lived in. It sounds like your visit didn't go well and gave you PTSD. Very nice job. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
|
The picture looks like the cabin the Clampetts lived in. It sounds like your visit didn't go well and gave you PTSD. Very nice job. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
-
It's fiction cowboy. Thanks for sidling up for a review.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good work.
The dialogue seemed to run true and consistent.
Only word caught me up was 'smackdown'. I've heard 'smackdab' all my life.
Best wishes and good luck.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
|
Good work.
The dialogue seemed to run true and consistent.
Only word caught me up was 'smackdown'. I've heard 'smackdab' all my life.
Best wishes and good luck.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
-
Smackdown works but smackdab is better. I changed it. Thanks.
Comment from Wendy G
Well written and humorous, Tom. I do struggle a bit with some of the words, not being American! Just me. I would change from "dentures" though, as these are false teeth.
Interesting throughout. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
|
Well written and humorous, Tom. I do struggle a bit with some of the words, not being American! Just me. I would change from "dentures" though, as these are false teeth.
Interesting throughout. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
-
Yep. Working on that denture slip
-
Yep. Working on that denture slip
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Oh my, just about everyone in the south is kin,lol, and you were lucky to get away from those hillbillies, whippersnapper, "good old boys."
Those are the type who live deep in the backwoods. They will shoot you if you step on their land, and will drag you into their house. Once the law gets to the house, it was "Self Defense." This looks like the Clampett's cabin. And many family members lived in those homes, not houses. Anyway, that show did not do us southern people any good. Roll Tide.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
|
Oh my, just about everyone in the south is kin,lol, and you were lucky to get away from those hillbillies, whippersnapper, "good old boys."
Those are the type who live deep in the backwoods. They will shoot you if you step on their land, and will drag you into their house. Once the law gets to the house, it was "Self Defense." This looks like the Clampett's cabin. And many family members lived in those homes, not houses. Anyway, that show did not do us southern people any good. Roll Tide.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
-
Remember this is to e taken as humorous
-
Remember this is to e taken as humorous
-
Thank you.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Right, it happens, patient can't speak everything after the surgery, there is though lingual problem, still none could speak the right, for this does not happen every day, so none could tell the truth of happening; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
|
Right, it happens, patient can't speak everything after the surgery, there is though lingual problem, still none could speak the right, for this does not happen every day, so none could tell the truth of happening; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
-
Thanks for your review
-
Thanks for your review
Comment from jessizero
This was a great story, and the picture you used fit the story perfectly. Thank you for choosing to share this, and keep up the good work. Best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
|
This was a great story, and the picture you used fit the story perfectly. Thank you for choosing to share this, and keep up the good work. Best wishes to you.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
-
Thank you
-
Thank you
