A Needle in a Haystack
A 200-word story15 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, this is such a moving story, Rod! I hope you get it published somewhere. Even those who don't even like war stories or the military can still relate to two people connecting this way. Congratulations on the win!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Oh, this is such a moving story, Rod! I hope you get it published somewhere. Even those who don't even like war stories or the military can still relate to two people connecting this way. Congratulations on the win!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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I truly appreciate your encouraging review, lyenochka. Many thanks for your high praise and the big congrats. Rod
Comment from Bill Schott
This two-hundred-word story, A Needle in a Haystack, has the required word count and touches the heart of this reader and I imagine all others who see it. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
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This two-hundred-word story, A Needle in a Haystack, has the required word count and touches the heart of this reader and I imagine all others who see it. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much, Bill, for sharing and praising my story. Rod
Comment from Spitfire
No wonder you are such a good writer. I taught HS English too, mostly eleventh and twelfth year too. I put in at least forty years.
This story gets off to an excellent start with your word choice of 'glided slowly toward'. The description made me think of a love story and in a more usual way, this was-- the connection between the young and old man.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
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No wonder you are such a good writer. I taught HS English too, mostly eleventh and twelfth year too. I put in at least forty years.
This story gets off to an excellent start with your word choice of 'glided slowly toward'. The description made me think of a love story and in a more usual way, this was-- the connection between the young and old man.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
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I am honored to receive such high praise from a colleague. Many thanks, Spitfire.
Comment from jessizero
This was so touching and sweet. I am impressed that you told such a beautiful story in just 200 words. Thank you for sharing this here, and best wishes.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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This was so touching and sweet. I am impressed that you told such a beautiful story in just 200 words. Thank you for sharing this here, and best wishes.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for your high praise of my shortie.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
How many men went to that war never to return. I know a half dozen of my classmates didn't. They likely never stood the chance of having offspring as young as they were went they went... over there.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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How many men went to that war never to return. I know a half dozen of my classmates didn't. They likely never stood the chance of having offspring as young as they were went they went... over there.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Many thanks, Tom, for sharing my poem.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
What a wonderful way of honoring a gentleman! They knew the same fellow, and it turns out to be the boy's father. It is a small world and when a person least expects to find an acquaintance, it is truly like finding a needle in a haystack!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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What a wonderful way of honoring a gentleman! They knew the same fellow, and it turns out to be the boy's father. It is a small world and when a person least expects to find an acquaintance, it is truly like finding a needle in a haystack!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much, Rosemary, for sharing and praising my story.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the 200 Word Story writing prompt contest. It has a clear beginning, middle, and an end.
You made me cry. It's so heartfelt and well written.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Excellent entry for the 200 Word Story writing prompt contest. It has a clear beginning, middle, and an end.
You made me cry. It's so heartfelt and well written.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Gypsy, for sharing my tearful story and your kind praise.
Comment from L J Temple
Wow touching read.
Great picture of life.
Definitely lives up to the title.
Would like to hear more stories like this that bring sadness to joy.
Well done
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Wow touching read.
Great picture of life.
Definitely lives up to the title.
Would like to hear more stories like this that bring sadness to joy.
Well done
Comment Written 07-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for your kind praise of my story.
Comment from Ulla
Yes, indeed, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I really enjoyed this little flash story, and I hope it will do well in the contest.
It must have been very be emotional for the two men. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Yes, indeed, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I really enjoyed this little flash story, and I hope it will do well in the contest.
It must have been very be emotional for the two men. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Ulla, for sharing my story and your encouragement.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is an emotional and heartwarming story. I've visited the Vietnam Memorial and it's haunting to see family and friends locate a loved one.
I have a couple of suggestions:
"two men glided." How do people glide? If you want to use a verb other than "walked," you could say stride, shuffled, drifted, trudged, etc.
"Y--you knew him?" the young man said. You could say, "the young man asked, since it was a question.
However, it's purely the writer's choice. Mine are merely suggestions.
Great story. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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This is an emotional and heartwarming story. I've visited the Vietnam Memorial and it's haunting to see family and friends locate a loved one.
I have a couple of suggestions:
"two men glided." How do people glide? If you want to use a verb other than "walked," you could say stride, shuffled, drifted, trudged, etc.
"Y--you knew him?" the young man said. You could say, "the young man asked, since it was a question.
However, it's purely the writer's choice. Mine are merely suggestions.
Great story. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, LJbutterfly, for taking the time to read my story so closely and make suggestions. I am especially pleased you found it emotional and heartwarming.
