Interpretations For Consideration
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Uh-Oh!"An Ekphrastic Poetry Collection for NaPoWriMo 2022
12 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Debra,
I suppose you're well into your evening right now. It's 6:40PM here in Saint John, New Brunswick. You'll soon be heading off to bed.
I enjoyed your poem about balloons. I wrote a children's poem about a type of balloon back in 2010. Can I share it with you? It's called "Billy Hubble Blows A Bubble"...
There was a boy named Billy Hubble.
He always seemed to get in trouble.
He liked to chew his gum in school.
This broke the first and foremost rule.
It made his teacher very mad.
She phoned his mom, and paged his dad.
But Billy blew with all his might,
Became a bubble satellite!
His feet began to leave the floor.
He floated right outside the door.
He rose into the autumn air,
High above the village square.
He floated up and glided down,
Soaring sideways all around.
He flew along with inky crow,
Just like an acrobatic pro.
He rose into the sky of blue,
Until a cloud came into view.
Now this may sound a little silly,
But that's the last we saw of Billy.
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You ended the poem with the fatal line,
"Strings are slipping from my grip."
Last lines are the most important in a poem, and yours is perfect. Nice imagery!
This is a fine addition to the NaPoWriMo contest!
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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Hi Debra,
I suppose you're well into your evening right now. It's 6:40PM here in Saint John, New Brunswick. You'll soon be heading off to bed.
I enjoyed your poem about balloons. I wrote a children's poem about a type of balloon back in 2010. Can I share it with you? It's called "Billy Hubble Blows A Bubble"...
There was a boy named Billy Hubble.
He always seemed to get in trouble.
He liked to chew his gum in school.
This broke the first and foremost rule.
It made his teacher very mad.
She phoned his mom, and paged his dad.
But Billy blew with all his might,
Became a bubble satellite!
His feet began to leave the floor.
He floated right outside the door.
He rose into the autumn air,
High above the village square.
He floated up and glided down,
Soaring sideways all around.
He flew along with inky crow,
Just like an acrobatic pro.
He rose into the sky of blue,
Until a cloud came into view.
Now this may sound a little silly,
But that's the last we saw of Billy.
***************************************
You ended the poem with the fatal line,
"Strings are slipping from my grip."
Last lines are the most important in a poem, and yours is perfect. Nice imagery!
This is a fine addition to the NaPoWriMo contest!
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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LOL! Poor old Billy! I really enjoyed your poem, Kimbob - just my kind of humour ;)
Thanks for your feedback - it came through last night as I was going to bed, around 11pm-ish, so I reckon you're about 5/6 hours behind me, time wise. Have a great Saturday... it's cold and dull here, after a week of sunshine :(
Best wishes as always, Debra x
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Hi Debs,
We have a gorgeous day here this morning. I shouldn't be surprised... last night skies to the west were a nice shade of red. But it's cold, below zero! I hope you a have a fabulous weekend!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What a fun poem--except not for the one slipping away. You did
a great job with our rhymed Whitney, Debra. I haven't see that
style Ina a while. I enjoyed reading yours. I like the image, the
color scheme, and the neat formatting of the last line that says it
all in great rhyme.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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What a fun poem--except not for the one slipping away. You did
a great job with our rhymed Whitney, Debra. I haven't see that
style Ina a while. I enjoyed reading yours. I like the image, the
color scheme, and the neat formatting of the last line that says it
all in great rhyme.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 20-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much for your encouraging feedback, Jan :)
Best wishes as always, Debra
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness, this is indeed a dilemma! Ha ha ha, it reminds me of the ending scene in the second Mary Poppins movie when every flies off holding a balloon! You made me smile and your words are so cleverly rhymed here, a magical write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Oh my goodness, this is indeed a dilemma! Ha ha ha, it reminds me of the ending scene in the second Mary Poppins movie when every flies off holding a balloon! You made me smile and your words are so cleverly rhymed here, a magical write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Dolly, for your kind feedback. Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation, Debra.
-Do you remember Brooke(adewpearl).
-I don't remember if she created this form or not,
but she wrote a lot of them. I used to do some, too.
Thanks for bringing it back.
-A good topic, effective imagery, and rhyme.
-I like the contrast in the poem from "flying free"
but it's "not your kind of trip."
-A very good concluding line, too.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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-Nice artwork and presentation, Debra.
-Do you remember Brooke(adewpearl).
-I don't remember if she created this form or not,
but she wrote a lot of them. I used to do some, too.
Thanks for bringing it back.
-A good topic, effective imagery, and rhyme.
-I like the contrast in the poem from "flying free"
but it's "not your kind of trip."
-A very good concluding line, too.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Hi Pam :)
Thank you for your kind feedback :)
Yes, I remember Brooke well... I used to love her poems... and her love of dandelions! She was the one who initially introduced me to the Whitney form.
Best wishes as always, Debra x
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You are welcome, Debra, and thanks for sharing. That's how I learned the form, too.
Comment from lyenochka
You told a fun / scary story in your Whitney poem. And you also kept to the picture, making it ekphrastic as all your poems for this month. I would not want to fly that way!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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You told a fun / scary story in your Whitney poem. And you also kept to the picture, making it ekphrastic as all your poems for this month. I would not want to fly that way!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Me neither!
Thanks for your kind feedback, Helen :)
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Val Crisson
Love this, and are the 8 balloons symbolic of your 8th poem in this contest. This just lovely, especially the last line - STRINGS ARE SLIPPING FROM MY GRASP.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Love this, and are the 8 balloons symbolic of your 8th poem in this contest. This just lovely, especially the last line - STRINGS ARE SLIPPING FROM MY GRASP.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much Val :)
Nothing symbolic about the number eight, though! ;)
Best wishes as always, Debra
Comment from Gloria ....
I do very much enjoy the humour here. Thank goodness eight balloons usually, unless they are very large balloons have sufficient lift-off to carry us away.
And your penultimate line leads into the final line of slipping for each reader to draw their own conclusion.
Very nicely written Whitney here. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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I do very much enjoy the humour here. Thank goodness eight balloons usually, unless they are very large balloons have sufficient lift-off to carry us away.
And your penultimate line leads into the final line of slipping for each reader to draw their own conclusion.
Very nicely written Whitney here. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much for your kind feedback, Gloria :)
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from jessizero
This was cute! I think it suited the picture perfectly, and you followed the syllable count and guidelines. Thanks for choosing to share this here. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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This was cute! I think it suited the picture perfectly, and you followed the syllable count and guidelines. Thanks for choosing to share this here. Best wishes.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Jessi :) I'm glad you enjoyed the read! Best wishes, Debra
Comment from royowen
Somehow this reminded me of a abandoned child, and I guess this great metaphorical image could be construed as leaving a child to tackle a bad situation, beautifully written Debra, it was probably meant differently, but great job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Somehow this reminded me of a abandoned child, and I guess this great metaphorical image could be construed as leaving a child to tackle a bad situation, beautifully written Debra, it was probably meant differently, but great job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Roy :) I appreciate your feedback as always... Best wishes, Debra x
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Most welcome
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Oh my goodness, I would hate to be in her position. This is a humorous poem. Thank you for sharing this poem. Have a great evening. Good luck and stay safe.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Oh my goodness, I would hate to be in her position. This is a humorous poem. Thank you for sharing this poem. Have a great evening. Good luck and stay safe.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your kind feedback. Best wishes, Debra :)
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You are welcome.
