The Creator's Hand
An artist's story.47 total reviews
Comment from Annmuma
I am impressed by the amount research you have done. The story is one that should be shared and celebrated. I've visited a number o Indian Reservations and their monuments, and I had never heard of this painter until you showed me his painting
The story is well-told and an interesting read. Once the reader reads your introduction, there is no stopping un the final word. Great post. The presentation is good and the imagery is excellent.
I did see a couple of spag things: - see below. ann
David and Joe were picked up in the Admiralty Islands by authorities -- suggest: David and Joe were picked up by authorities in the Admiralty Islands. (I think we have a split something here.)
a full-blooded (I am not sure on this one, but you might want to check it out. I would have said 'full-blood' = but I could be wrong)
He was also friends and tutored by an American painter, --
Suggest: He was also friends with and tutored by an American painter
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
  |
I am impressed by the amount research you have done. The story is one that should be shared and celebrated. I've visited a number o Indian Reservations and their monuments, and I had never heard of this painter until you showed me his painting
The story is well-told and an interesting read. Once the reader reads your introduction, there is no stopping un the final word. Great post. The presentation is good and the imagery is excellent.
I did see a couple of spag things: - see below. ann
David and Joe were picked up in the Admiralty Islands by authorities -- suggest: David and Joe were picked up by authorities in the Admiralty Islands. (I think we have a split something here.)
a full-blooded (I am not sure on this one, but you might want to check it out. I would have said 'full-blood' = but I could be wrong)
He was also friends and tutored by an American painter, --
Suggest: He was also friends with and tutored by an American painter
Comment Written 01-May-2022
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
-
Thank you, I will look at the spags. Terry.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nice story. Nicely done.
I don't understand abstract art very well, and I really don't understand the triangles above and below the hand and arm. (pointers?) But I like the sentiment.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
 |
Very nice story. Nicely done.
I don't understand abstract art very well, and I really don't understand the triangles above and below the hand and arm. (pointers?) But I like the sentiment.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 01-May-2022
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
-
Thank you. Terry
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What an incredible lad, to have been through all that before he was twenty years old. The maggots and leeches, I'd heard that before, and although it sounds gross, it really did save his life, and his legs it seems. I loved the sardine tin trick, that was so clever! Lol. I'll remember that if I'm ever made homeless. I'm sure at least one restaurant would feel sorry for an old woman, like they would young lads. Mind you, I'm not so sure they would today. This was really interesting, he was an amazing man. Thanks for sharing this with us. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
|
What an incredible lad, to have been through all that before he was twenty years old. The maggots and leeches, I'd heard that before, and although it sounds gross, it really did save his life, and his legs it seems. I loved the sardine tin trick, that was so clever! Lol. I'll remember that if I'm ever made homeless. I'm sure at least one restaurant would feel sorry for an old woman, like they would young lads. Mind you, I'm not so sure they would today. This was really interesting, he was an amazing man. Thanks for sharing this with us. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-May-2022
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
-
Sandra, thank you very much. Terry.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of your work reminisces the travails of David Paladin on a hard road to travel and his eventual metamorphosis into an outstanding artist, who is credited with the pioneering role of evolving the Native American form of sand painting.
The work highlights his adventurous nature; his favourable alignment with the miraculous hands of fate that jostled him into assuming a coveted pioneering status in Native American form of sand painting.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes reminiscent with the irony of fate.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
|
The objective correlative of your work reminisces the travails of David Paladin on a hard road to travel and his eventual metamorphosis into an outstanding artist, who is credited with the pioneering role of evolving the Native American form of sand painting.
The work highlights his adventurous nature; his favourable alignment with the miraculous hands of fate that jostled him into assuming a coveted pioneering status in Native American form of sand painting.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes reminiscent with the irony of fate.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 01-May-2022
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
-
Dang, Lloyd, your reviews are better than my stories! Thank you. Terry.
-
Remain Blessed.
Comment from Susan Newell
Terry,
This is an absolutely fascinating story about an incredible human being. It would have earned more stars except for having so many SPAGs as noted below. Unfortunately they interrupt the flow of the writing.
Sue
You decided. -- typo ==> decide
David Chethlahe Paladin/Chethlah == which is it?
hitchhike to Chicago. ==> hitchhiked.
At the Embaracadero, they stow-a-away ==> Embarcadero & stowed-away
German named Ted Keck on this ship ==> the ship (only one mentioned)
The "intelligent" officers ==> intelligence
So, they joined the OSS, the Office of Strategic Servies eventually, this organization would become the CIA. -- run-on sentence ==> Services. Eventually
eat raw chicken entails. ==> entrails
David would attend several art schools, including a scholarship to the prestigious Chicago Art Institute. -- including doesn't work this way; a scholarship isn't a school. Better as "schools, including the prestigious . . . Institute on a scholarship."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
 |
Terry,
This is an absolutely fascinating story about an incredible human being. It would have earned more stars except for having so many SPAGs as noted below. Unfortunately they interrupt the flow of the writing.
Sue
You decided. -- typo ==> decide
David Chethlahe Paladin/Chethlah == which is it?
hitchhike to Chicago. ==> hitchhiked.
At the Embaracadero, they stow-a-away ==> Embarcadero & stowed-away
German named Ted Keck on this ship ==> the ship (only one mentioned)
The "intelligent" officers ==> intelligence
So, they joined the OSS, the Office of Strategic Servies eventually, this organization would become the CIA. -- run-on sentence ==> Services. Eventually
eat raw chicken entails. ==> entrails
David would attend several art schools, including a scholarship to the prestigious Chicago Art Institute. -- including doesn't work this way; a scholarship isn't a school. Better as "schools, including the prestigious . . . Institute on a scholarship."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-May-2022
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
-
Thank you for the corrections. I read it a hundred times, Grammarly checks its twenty times, and I still cannot find them. I did present his name correctly. Thanks again. Terry
-
You are welcome. It is hard to proof one's one work and Grammarly is not reliable. What I questioned on the name was whether or not there is an e in Chethlahe. If so, you missed it the second time around. Very profound story.
-
You are right there is an E on the end of the name, and I did miss it. I do know Grammarly is not 100% or maybe even 85%, but still better than me by myself.
I have one more story that I have written, I plan to release it sometime next week. I think it is a really good story, and I think it will present well.
I thought this was a good story and it would present well, but it didn't. I am sure that the next story will have its problems too.
I am thinking the next one will most likely be my last. I am too old to learn how to make it better. Terry.
-
Terry,
I love your writing and you are not too old to learn. That's what we are here for. Some of the other writers are so bad, I don't even review them. Yours sometimes need a few tweaks, that's all. Please keep writing.
Sue
Comment from barbara.wilkey
WOW!!! Thank you for sharing this amazing artist with us. I had not heard of him. He needs to be heard of. His story is amazing and a testimony of faith.
The next day the cousins, about ten years old, hitchhike to Chicago. (The following day...)
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
|
WOW!!! Thank you for sharing this amazing artist with us. I had not heard of him. He needs to be heard of. His story is amazing and a testimony of faith.
The next day the cousins, about ten years old, hitchhike to Chicago. (The following day...)
Comment Written 01-May-2022
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
-
Thank for the review and the edit. Terry.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
What an interesting story. I'll need to find a better representation of The Creator's Hand. I cannot make out the details. Thank you for sharing. May your life continue with obvious blessings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
|
What an interesting story. I'll need to find a better representation of The Creator's Hand. I cannot make out the details. Thank you for sharing. May your life continue with obvious blessings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-May-2022
reply by the author on 01-May-2022
-
Tom, I am sorry about the picture. It is the best I can do. The light is not good in the room where it is hanging. Thank you for reading. Terry.
-
That's okay. I looked up the artist and saw many renderings but not The Creator's Hand.
