Tucker at the Trocadero (Part-2)
A cantankerous Tucker verses an evil Farnsworth.34 total reviews
Comment from rockinm76233
I'll return the favor with six stars. I love a mystery. why not do a book? It's not a big deal. I have written 20 +. didn't say they were all bestsellers, but certainly will keep you entertained for a while. Yours would do the same I bet.
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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I'll return the favor with six stars. I love a mystery. why not do a book? It's not a big deal. I have written 20 +. didn't say they were all bestsellers, but certainly will keep you entertained for a while. Yours would do the same I bet.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Rockin'M, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. I enjoy reading your books every day, but for me, my attention span gets sidetracked and drifts off to Never Never Land, maybe it's ADD. LOL. I appreciate YOU, and your encouraging review!
Comment from Brett Matthew West
An offer he couldn't refuse - grabs attention and makes reader want to know what's up with that.
Talk about a double-cross, Tucker nailing Farnsworth's dirty deeds.
hummingbird-sized Mosquitos, no need to capitalize Mosquitos.
What a description of TD.
As the ending says better tie on tight. This could be one wild ride.
Definitely want to read more!
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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An offer he couldn't refuse - grabs attention and makes reader want to know what's up with that.
Talk about a double-cross, Tucker nailing Farnsworth's dirty deeds.
hummingbird-sized Mosquitos, no need to capitalize Mosquitos.
What a description of TD.
As the ending says better tie on tight. This could be one wild ride.
Definitely want to read more!
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Brett Matthew, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. Another of my fragment plastered spoofs with quirky characters, maybe I pattern them after myself. LOL. I can't thank you enough for your wonderful and encouraging review and comments. It's always a pleasure to read your posts, and receive your motivating review. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Susan Newell
Ric,
Your story is fast-moving and engaging. I kept wanting to know what would happen next. You do seem to have a lot of sentence fragments that might due better as sentences with semicolons. I don't mind an occasional fragment for emphasis, but a whole string of them is disrupting to the reader. I will be sure to tune in on the ensuing segments. I made few notes below.
Sue
hummingbird-sized Mosquitos -- no need to cap mosquitos
Tammy Jo, the bartender, tried to attract Tucker's attention: adding a little pretentious wiggle to her boom-chick-a-boom walk. Such a cute little bubble-butt twitching like bait on the end of a flyrod. Every bug-eyed bass or trout waiting for the hook to be set. -- Excellent paragraph for phrases, but I would prefer better sentence structure.
"What--Tammy," Tuck asked? ==> "What--Tammy?" Tuck asked.
staring a whole through Tuck. -- nasty homonym ==> hole
closest example of a Father -- no cap for father
Out celebrating with friends on her twenty-eight birthday, ==> twenty-eighth
made a pack to never let anything come between them again. ==> pact
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reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Ric,
Your story is fast-moving and engaging. I kept wanting to know what would happen next. You do seem to have a lot of sentence fragments that might due better as sentences with semicolons. I don't mind an occasional fragment for emphasis, but a whole string of them is disrupting to the reader. I will be sure to tune in on the ensuing segments. I made few notes below.
Sue
hummingbird-sized Mosquitos -- no need to cap mosquitos
Tammy Jo, the bartender, tried to attract Tucker's attention: adding a little pretentious wiggle to her boom-chick-a-boom walk. Such a cute little bubble-butt twitching like bait on the end of a flyrod. Every bug-eyed bass or trout waiting for the hook to be set. -- Excellent paragraph for phrases, but I would prefer better sentence structure.
"What--Tammy," Tuck asked? ==> "What--Tammy?" Tuck asked.
staring a whole through Tuck. -- nasty homonym ==> hole
closest example of a Father -- no cap for father
Out celebrating with friends on her twenty-eight birthday, ==> twenty-eighth
made a pack to never let anything come between them again. ==> pact
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Susan, for your kind words, suggestions, and generous review. I do have a terrible habit of intentionally using lots of fragments, trying to show a little of the narrator's character or lack thereof. And most of the other things you and a couple others have pointed out are mostly carelessness from writing too fast and not bothering to edit, correct, and polish. My least favorite chores. And yes, I should be ashamed, since kind people like you take their time to read and offer help. I will make an effort to be more careful and cut down on the fragments. A little. LOL. I appreciate talented writers like you who take time to help us old hacks. Thanks, again!
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You are welcome, Ric. I think my issue with the fragments is that if they are over used they lose some of their punch, but I am always careful about objecting to them with accomplished writers like yourself. It's a different story when someone doesn't know they are doing it and they are just more confusion in a piece riddled with bad grammar.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Sensational my friend! It has been a long time. I'm happy to see you back, no matter how long or short a time that will be. You're writing is an inspiration. Thank you for the Ric-read! An enjoyable part 2.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Sensational my friend! It has been a long time. I'm happy to see you back, no matter how long or short a time that will be. You're writing is an inspiration. Thank you for the Ric-read! An enjoyable part 2.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, John, for taking time out to read my second part of Tucker. This one isn't too exciting, just mostly an introduction to some vital people as the story moves forward. Appreciate your kind words, encouragement, and generous review.
