Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Animals at play"Musings of an old man - 2022
45 total reviews
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is a form I don't see very often. It lends itself well to a joyful children's poem, keeping up the pace and enhancing the fun factor. I love the procession if animals and the great time it feels as though they're having.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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This is a form I don't see very often. It lends itself well to a joyful children's poem, keeping up the pace and enhancing the fun factor. I love the procession if animals and the great time it feels as though they're having.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you, I haven't written in this poetic form very often, thanks for your comments.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a good poem that includes a lot of animals and a lot of different relationships. One question, wouldn't a crack in a tooth make eating nuts harder that eating honey? I like the artwrork.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay heatlhy
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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This is a good poem that includes a lot of animals and a lot of different relationships. One question, wouldn't a crack in a tooth make eating nuts harder that eating honey? I like the artwrork.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay heatlhy
dragonpoet
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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AH, but the nuts would never bring the discomfort that sweets bring to a hot nerve - speaking form my personal experience - but, perhaps, I should revisit this line thank you Joan!
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With that reasoning, I understand your line. But pressure sometimes causes pain and chewing hard foods cause that pressure.
You're welcome.
Joan
Comment from Lilly Flowers
One little thing I found in the first line - I think you meant to write 'thought.' This was adorable. I love alliteration and you worked it well into the names of the animals, except for Danny. Sally might work, but you'd have to change it from a boy to a girl.
Anyway, that's minor stuff and this was such a cute little poem for the kiddies and us big kids as well. Best regards, Lilly
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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One little thing I found in the first line - I think you meant to write 'thought.' This was adorable. I love alliteration and you worked it well into the names of the animals, except for Danny. Sally might work, but you'd have to change it from a boy to a girl.
Anyway, that's minor stuff and this was such a cute little poem for the kiddies and us big kids as well. Best regards, Lilly
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Hi Lilly, thanks for your well meaning thoughts. While I had intended it to be though ?. For better flow I changed it to thought. And I went will Stevie the squirrel.
Comment from karenina
A clever and fun poem in rhyming tercets with lots of sprinkles of alliteration throughout ~ something I find children seem to take to (as do I!) A great image was chosen to enhance your words! (Nice of your to acknowledge "avmuray")--
I'll read this one to my youngest grandson!
Karenina
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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A clever and fun poem in rhyming tercets with lots of sprinkles of alliteration throughout ~ something I find children seem to take to (as do I!) A great image was chosen to enhance your words! (Nice of your to acknowledge "avmuray")--
I'll read this one to my youngest grandson!
Karenina
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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That?s great.
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I did, and he loved it....
Comment from royowen
An excellent entry in this contest, an apt entry, and unusually, the first one I've read, in mono rhyming triplets, expertly written, and a worthy and competitive contest entry, articulate but simple, as it should be, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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An excellent entry in this contest, an apt entry, and unusually, the first one I've read, in mono rhyming triplets, expertly written, and a worthy and competitive contest entry, articulate but simple, as it should be, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Anne Johnston
Great rhyming and interesting descriptions in this delightful children's poem. Animals at play, so much fun to watch. I hope your poem does well in the Children's Poem contest.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Great rhyming and interesting descriptions in this delightful children's poem. Animals at play, so much fun to watch. I hope your poem does well in the Children's Poem contest.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Anne just your validation makes it already a win! Thank you!
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You are very welcome.
Comment from harmony13
An excellent children's poem! The author's words sweet, interesting,
playful, fun and creative. The rhyming in this poem was awesome.
I pondered how much a child would enjoy this poem. The poem flows
and connects well. The artwork goes well with this poem.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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An excellent children's poem! The author's words sweet, interesting,
playful, fun and creative. The rhyming in this poem was awesome.
I pondered how much a child would enjoy this poem. The poem flows
and connects well. The artwork goes well with this poem.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Thanks so much!
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Author,
This is a very nice children's poem full of nice-sounding alliteration that would attract a child's curiosity and love of animals.
Excellent poem.
Good luck and blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Author,
This is a very nice children's poem full of nice-sounding alliteration that would attract a child's curiosity and love of animals.
Excellent poem.
Good luck and blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Thank you Cindy!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
A good entry to the children's poetry contest - cute rhymes and animals, you can't go wrong!
First line - did you mean to say thought instead of though?
Good luck!
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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A good entry to the children's poetry contest - cute rhymes and animals, you can't go wrong!
First line - did you mean to say thought instead of though?
Good luck!
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Pam you are the second one so now the word is changed to thought. I was over thinking this one. 🫢🫢
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written six star poem in my eyes. You used great descriptive and rhyming words with very good imagery from the art work you chose. I think children would love to have that read to them or read to themself if they are old enough. love and blessings, teri
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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This is a very well written six star poem in my eyes. You used great descriptive and rhyming words with very good imagery from the art work you chose. I think children would love to have that read to them or read to themself if they are old enough. love and blessings, teri
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Teri, I am honored to receive one of your precious six stars on this children's poem! Thank you, may your week be filled with fun and laughter!
