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A Penny for you Fought

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Intimate Draught"
Dragon Dance Chronicles Book 2

6 total reviews 
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Excellent
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Roz is somewhat thecworse for wear, but she's sufficiently irritated that the mole isn't going to be happy when he's uncovered. Bass is a new name. Interested in finding out who this family is and why they want Roz dead. Well done, Mike. :) Nancy

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
    Thank you, Nancy :-). We're heading into the final straight now!

    Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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This is a very good addition to your previous posts. I can't wait to discover who the security issue is.

"Oh, he wouldn't hurt me," I smiled. "We go back, me and Uncle Don." Air whistled between my teeth. "Tell me I won't be gumming my food like a retired tortoise boxer for the rest of my life."
London smiled nervously. "I tried something. They should grow back. Never tried anything like it before, but I had strong motivation." Okay, so I forgive him. (two dialogues in one paragraph, you need two paragraphs)

"Dirt's balls, you really are an idiot aren't you?" (comma needed after 'idiot')

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
    Thabks fir the catches, Barbara :-). I out paragraph breaks in after pasting into the editor, so I obviously missed one!

    Mike
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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This is a rather interesting story. I haven't read any previous chapters so I'm a bit lost as to what's going on. The dialogue is very good and carries the story forward in a nice manner. I enjoyed reading your writing. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022
    Thank you for taking the time :-). I know, it's difficult jumping in, but I appreciate your feedback.

    Mike
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I loved this chapter, and luckily, I have a six left! I think Roz is a brilliant character, and Terence, they are my favourites. How wonderful to have a spell to make your teeth grow back!!
I'm wondering, is Smiff the traitor? He couldn't wait to get out of there. Hmm, although I can't see it myself unless he's been threatened with something worse than Terence having a go at him.
The next thing Roz has got to do is, find some decent clothes!! Lol. Well done, I really enjoyed this part. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
    Well, it remains to be seen whether the tooth spell pans out, lol. Thanks so much, Sandra - I'm genuinely thrilled you enjoyed this chapter. Once Roz gets her arse covered up, we'll see what happens :-)

    Mike
Comment from Iza Deleanu
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This part made me laugh:""What happened?" I coughed and pulled myself to a sitting position. I had on the flimsiest gown imaginable, made from the kind of cloth posh folk use to wipe their arses. It was rougher than a sand shower and about as comfortable as a cactus armchair. "Last thing I remember is sending Terence to help you lot, a dirty magic finger, and getting into a fight I wasn't sure I could get out of. Remind me not to do that last bit again."
I can imagine how awkward you must feel when you wake up in uncharted territory hanging only to the memory of the attack that brought into that state "of art". Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
    Thank you, Iza. I have a lot of fun writing this :-)

    Mike
Comment from royowen
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Rozlyn is tough cookies, in more ways than one, they catch an assassin and Terence puts him in a compromising situation, until gets him to a spot were he is willing to confess his hirer, it turns out to be a guy called Bass, and it is whom Roz thought it was, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
    Thank you, Roy :-). We're heading into the final straight for this tale now.

    Mike
reply by royowen on 01-Jun-2022
    Good job