Creativity in the Community
A million-dollar bequest submission.7 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
A very sound and thoughtful proposal. I hope "Mr. Anthropist" takes advantage of the suggestion.
A couple of observations
Para 3, sentence 2: Add comma (,) after "Also"
Para 3, sentence 3: "prioritised" should be "prioritized"
Para 4, sentence 1: MAYBE "Centre" should be "Center"?
Para 5, sentence 1: Change comma after "man," to a semi-colon
Para 7, sentence 2: MAYBE "centre" should be "center"?
I like your sign off "I. M. Artist"
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
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A very sound and thoughtful proposal. I hope "Mr. Anthropist" takes advantage of the suggestion.
A couple of observations
Para 3, sentence 2: Add comma (,) after "Also"
Para 3, sentence 3: "prioritised" should be "prioritized"
Para 4, sentence 1: MAYBE "Centre" should be "Center"?
Para 5, sentence 1: Change comma after "man," to a semi-colon
Para 7, sentence 2: MAYBE "centre" should be "center"?
I like your sign off "I. M. Artist"
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review and taking the time to offer helpful advice. I live in New Zealand, so that is how we spell words here - with an 's' and not a 'z'. If I were writing to an American billionaire I would probably Americanize my letter, but we have billionaires here too.
I agree with your advice to put a comma after 'Also', but the semi-colon is not right as it would break the sentence into 2 distinct parts, which isn't my intention.
Best wishes,
LM
Comment from lyenochka
Perfect letter for such a situation! I remember the schools had no funding to teach art in our elementary schools so we parents had to teach art as volunteers. It's a very important activity that can help develop the creativity needed in STEM studies, too!
Best wishes in the contest!
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Perfect letter for such a situation! I remember the schools had no funding to teach art in our elementary schools so we parents had to teach art as volunteers. It's a very important activity that can help develop the creativity needed in STEM studies, too!
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
Comment from Stuart V. Witt
Key: This is indeed a letter, as required. In addition, it's meaningful, fun, and delightful. The merits of the request are carefully spelled out. On the other hand, the author acknowledges that others' requests have merit too. This helps to establish the positive character and sincerity of the request. Still further, the author's proposal presents itself as a partial, important righting of the balance between art and technology in modern times, important to and relevant in modern times. Fun? Delightful? My response is "Yes". The letter begins, " Dear Phil Anthropist". Think about that for a while. My technological computer underlines "Anthropist" in red, but I hope the reader gets past the technological objection. My computer still does not get it. There is a second underlining of 'the word in question' in red.
The letter presented is, in my opinion, beautifully written, from beginning to end. However, I do wish to point out that again, near the beginning of the letter, appear the words "The Importance of Art" and these very words are rendered as visual art. How appropriate!
The author ends his letter with "I. M. Artist". How appropriate!
Thank you "I. M. Artist" for entering this contest.
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Key: This is indeed a letter, as required. In addition, it's meaningful, fun, and delightful. The merits of the request are carefully spelled out. On the other hand, the author acknowledges that others' requests have merit too. This helps to establish the positive character and sincerity of the request. Still further, the author's proposal presents itself as a partial, important righting of the balance between art and technology in modern times, important to and relevant in modern times. Fun? Delightful? My response is "Yes". The letter begins, " Dear Phil Anthropist". Think about that for a while. My technological computer underlines "Anthropist" in red, but I hope the reader gets past the technological objection. My computer still does not get it. There is a second underlining of 'the word in question' in red.
The letter presented is, in my opinion, beautifully written, from beginning to end. However, I do wish to point out that again, near the beginning of the letter, appear the words "The Importance of Art" and these very words are rendered as visual art. How appropriate!
The author ends his letter with "I. M. Artist". How appropriate!
Thank you "I. M. Artist" for entering this contest.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Creativity in the Community, gives some sound points for convincing the rich donor to send those duckets to people who can improve the cultural footing in the community. Nice.
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This story, Creativity in the Community, gives some sound points for convincing the rich donor to send those duckets to people who can improve the cultural footing in the community. Nice.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
Comment from John Ciarmello
I wish I had a million. I wouldn't hesitate to fund this project. This is a great contest entry. I'm not sure where the contest stands, but this is a contender. I wish you much success. Best, JohnC
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I wish I had a million. I wouldn't hesitate to fund this project. This is a great contest entry. I'm not sure where the contest stands, but this is a contender. I wish you much success. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
Comment from Wendy G
An artist with a certain wit and sense of humour, and who writes well also? How many can there be? Your creative entry will definitely stand out from the others - sending best wishes to you for your entry.
Wendy
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An artist with a certain wit and sense of humour, and who writes well also? How many can there be? Your creative entry will definitely stand out from the others - sending best wishes to you for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
The letter fits the requirements for the contest. I feel more details could be given about the Art Centre. The salutation/greeting is cleverly done as well as your closing name. I wish you luck in the contest.
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The letter fits the requirements for the contest. I feel more details could be given about the Art Centre. The salutation/greeting is cleverly done as well as your closing name. I wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2022
