Autumn Magic
Seasonal poem4 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Vivid lines are one and two, and that is where it ends. Line three would do for me if it reads Autumn shows enthrall for they do it continually every fall. idk/ We all write differently. Good luck.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
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Vivid lines are one and two, and that is where it ends. Line three would do for me if it reads Autumn shows enthrall for they do it continually every fall. idk/ We all write differently. Good luck.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
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I follow your line of thought
At the same time autumn is autumn .. the leaves fall, wind is chilly , days are shorter , the leaves are vivid .. it?s a repeat every year . It?s the same show every year
Keep safe!
Comment from Michele Harber
What an original idea, doing your 5-7-5 from the dog's perspective. I can certainly see how diving into a pile of leaves might be a way for a dog to enjoy the season.
I gave you five stars because the poem itself is sweet, and I like that you rhymed all three lines. However, it doesn't actually follow the contest's rules, which say that the word "autumn" must be included. If you were to switch "magic" for "Autumn," you'd be complying with the rules while maintaining the syllable count and the spirit of your poem.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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What an original idea, doing your 5-7-5 from the dog's perspective. I can certainly see how diving into a pile of leaves might be a way for a dog to enjoy the season.
I gave you five stars because the poem itself is sweet, and I like that you rhymed all three lines. However, it doesn't actually follow the contest's rules, which say that the word "autumn" must be included. If you were to switch "magic" for "Autumn," you'd be complying with the rules while maintaining the syllable count and the spirit of your poem.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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Okay, thanks for the tip .. I didn't notice .. the first draft actually had the word Autumn but then I changed the wording.
I will edit!
Keep safe !
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No problem. I didn't want to see you get disqualified when the edit was so simple.
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I need to learn to read everything and not stop after first sentence( sigh) .
I hope you have a sunny weekend!
Keep safe!
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It happens to the best of us. The main thing is that we caught it. You have a sunny weekend as well.
Comment from Wendy G
I love your image - and your words. But the word "Autumn" must be included in the 5-7-5 according to the rules. Can you quickly edit it? eg "Autumn game enthralls" If you change it to "game" (or "fun") it links with the dog nose-diving as well. Just a thought. But it is your poem. Wishing you the best. Love the joyful image.
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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I love your image - and your words. But the word "Autumn" must be included in the 5-7-5 according to the rules. Can you quickly edit it? eg "Autumn game enthralls" If you change it to "game" (or "fun") it links with the dog nose-diving as well. Just a thought. But it is your poem. Wishing you the best. Love the joyful image.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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Thanks .
My first draft actually had the word autumn but then I edited the whole last line :
Play brawls, Autumn thralls.
Good thing I looked up the English word THRALLS and I realised the meaning I thought it held was completely different.
I thought it meant exciting
I will edit!
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Thanks .
My first draft actually had the word autumn but then I edited the whole last line :
Play brawls, Autumn thralls.
Good thing I looked up the English word THRALLS and I realised the meaning I thought it held was completely different.
I thought it meant exciting
I will edit!
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
This is a beautiful picture. I love Golden Retrievers. That dog is so pretty. He looks like he is having the time of his life. Those leaves are lovely. However, they can be dangerous. As a military police officer, my husband encountered a terrible accident in Germany. A young child, age five, was covered in leaves. A German truck driver ran over her. My husband never got over the scene. Thank you.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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This is a beautiful picture. I love Golden Retrievers. That dog is so pretty. He looks like he is having the time of his life. Those leaves are lovely. However, they can be dangerous. As a military police officer, my husband encountered a terrible accident in Germany. A young child, age five, was covered in leaves. A German truck driver ran over her. My husband never got over the scene. Thank you.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2022
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What's what you call a freak accident..they are the worse. Poor child
I can understand your husband's reaction .. what a horrible ordeal.
I'm glad you enjoyed the read. The canine looks he is having the time of the world.
We had three huge beeches and I had a lot of racking to do ...I made heaps and my afghan Abdullah got a kick nose-diving in them ..the golden leaves looked like Christmas ornaments in his long silky fur.
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Thank you for sharing.
