The Comfort of Sleep
An ode to therapeutic sleep in 5/7/5 syllables.13 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
"Oh, deep blissful sleep," I wish I knew how you felt. The last phrase is written by a person that doesn't sleep well...me. Your title, artwork, and poetry provide such comforting pleasure, especially the words, "blissful, peace, and gently ease." I lingered on this page a few extra minutes just to enjoy the colors and meaning.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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"Oh, deep blissful sleep," I wish I knew how you felt. The last phrase is written by a person that doesn't sleep well...me. Your title, artwork, and poetry provide such comforting pleasure, especially the words, "blissful, peace, and gently ease." I lingered on this page a few extra minutes just to enjoy the colors and meaning.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review. I'm not a good sleeper either, so I sympathize with you. I love my bed but I seem to spend most of my time in it awake.
Comment from Wendy G
I like this clever write, and I am glad you got second place. It's very meaningful, thoughtful, and well composed. And different from the others. Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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I like this clever write, and I am glad you got second place. It's very meaningful, thoughtful, and well composed. And different from the others. Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Thanks Wendy. I often check to see what other entrants have written about then decide what I'll do to have a different topic.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The strength of this poem is the line end rhymes on lines 1 and 3. Nice. However, I think there is a but missing at the start of the last line. To me the private tears arise despite the peace and easing.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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The strength of this poem is the line end rhymes on lines 1 and 3. Nice. However, I think there is a but missing at the start of the last line. To me the private tears arise despite the peace and easing.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thanks for reviewing. Syllable count restriction kicks in. My sleep eases my tears - so sorry that yours doesn't.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
I don't even like to watch bedding advertisements on TV because they always make me so tired/sleepy. This soothing verse along with the placidf photo makes me want to go back to bed right now.
Good job
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I don't even like to watch bedding advertisements on TV because they always make me so tired/sleepy. This soothing verse along with the placidf photo makes me want to go back to bed right now.
Good job
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Sweet dreams!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Ode 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. I love to sleep in. LoL
Good syllables count and connection between lines. Excellent imagery and presentation. Well done! I wish you the best.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Excellent entry for the Ode 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. I love to sleep in. LoL
Good syllables count and connection between lines. Excellent imagery and presentation. Well done! I wish you the best.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Thank you. I love my bed.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
I enjoyed reading this post. The picture goes great. I can not stand to lie down and toss and turn. When you get the correct amount of hours sleep, you feel so much better the next morning. It is hard to find a decent mattress these days. I bought a few mattress until I found one that was comfortable. Thank you for the awareness.
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I enjoyed reading this post. The picture goes great. I can not stand to lie down and toss and turn. When you get the correct amount of hours sleep, you feel so much better the next morning. It is hard to find a decent mattress these days. I bought a few mattress until I found one that was comfortable. Thank you for the awareness.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
Comment from jessizero
You wrote an excellent ode to sleep in the 5-7-5 format. It's calming and upsetting all at once. Thank you for sharing this here, and best wishes to you.
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You wrote an excellent ode to sleep in the 5-7-5 format. It's calming and upsetting all at once. Thank you for sharing this here, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
Comment from harmony13
The first two lines of this poem flow and connect well. The last line says it all! I pondered on these words and there is nothing like a blissful sleep even though deep within there may be tears. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is awesome and compliments these words.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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The first two lines of this poem flow and connect well. The last line says it all! I pondered on these words and there is nothing like a blissful sleep even though deep within there may be tears. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is awesome and compliments these words.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your generous review. Here's to the bliss of a good night's sleep.
Comment from RodG
Sleep is indeed a great comfort for many. I like how you imply the Speaker is grieving for a lost love one through your phrase "private tears." You are maybe a bit heavy-handed with the rhyme, but I do much like this ode. Rod
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Sleep is indeed a great comfort for many. I like how you imply the Speaker is grieving for a lost love one through your phrase "private tears." You are maybe a bit heavy-handed with the rhyme, but I do much like this ode. Rod
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your comments Rod. I agree with the 'heavy-handed' comment. I was toying with putting 'gently ease' into the 2nd line instead of 'keep'. Do you think that is more effective? I do.
Currently:
Oh, deep blissful sleep ?
In your peace you safely keep
private tears I weep.
Considering changing to:
Oh, deep blissful sleep ?
In your peace you gently ease
private tears I weep.
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Sorry, but I don?t think of sleep ?easing? tears or preventing them.
Comment from John Ciarmello
An excellent piece. I wonder what your private tears are all about. It is a thought-provoking piece and relatively peaceful at the same time. I wish you much success with the contest. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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An excellent piece. I wonder what your private tears are all about. It is a thought-provoking piece and relatively peaceful at the same time. I wish you much success with the contest. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Not telling - they're private, haha.
Thanks for reviewing, John.
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Darn!
