The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Concerned Direction"Adventures around & upon a hill
12 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
I enjoyed this for the visceral description of how cold it is. Very nicely done.
I had to laugh at 'watering a dead stick'. It reminds me of my wife and me gardening. We steadfastly refuse to believe anything is dead until it actually falls over!
Interesting snippet about the horseshoes. I'm always careful to hang them the right way up, too, so the luck doesn't run out of them!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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I enjoyed this for the visceral description of how cold it is. Very nicely done.
I had to laugh at 'watering a dead stick'. It reminds me of my wife and me gardening. We steadfastly refuse to believe anything is dead until it actually falls over!
Interesting snippet about the horseshoes. I'm always careful to hang them the right way up, too, so the luck doesn't run out of them!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your entertaining review. LOL you are are so funny. I'm glad my incidental tidbits inspired you to humor.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Liz, I notice that you have your special way of writing; which I like
To me it helps me to slow my pace as I'm reading.
Oh indeed you know how to describe how cold is when milking a cow in the bitter cold--
Here is an example---
However, as wonderful as, these mittens may be, they are no good for when I'm actually milking the cows. My fingers sting from the biting cold. I knot, release, and knot them again, trying
Gert
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Hello Liz, I notice that you have your special way of writing; which I like
To me it helps me to slow my pace as I'm reading.
Oh indeed you know how to describe how cold is when milking a cow in the bitter cold--
Here is an example---
However, as wonderful as, these mittens may be, they are no good for when I'm actually milking the cows. My fingers sting from the biting cold. I knot, release, and knot them again, trying
Gert
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. I'm so glad you especially appreciate my cadence.
You have complimented me in a way no one ever has. I am touched.
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Liz
You are most welcome
Please keep writing
Gert
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is an interesting segment, Liz. The conversation between Samuel and James seems almost intimate. I can feel the cold of the day when having to trudge to the barn, through the snow to milk the cow, even though I only once attempted to milk our cow, without success, after my husband injured his hand in the workshop. Well done
One little spag: "as wonderful as(,) these mittens may be, they..." - the first comma isn't needed.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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This is an interesting segment, Liz. The conversation between Samuel and James seems almost intimate. I can feel the cold of the day when having to trudge to the barn, through the snow to milk the cow, even though I only once attempted to milk our cow, without success, after my husband injured his hand in the workshop. Well done
One little spag: "as wonderful as(,) these mittens may be, they..." - the first comma isn't needed.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you like my descriptions.
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You?re most welcome, Liz.
Comment from Beck Fenton
I'm starting to get a feel for your writing style. It leaves much to the imagination... perhaps too much. I'd love to know what breed of cows the monks had, what the barn was like if it was that cold inside in might be just a shed...
I wonder if Brother Samuel would say "Coptic" or just socks? They look very uncomfortable.
Anyway, keep writing. Maybe describe a little more with a few well-placed adjectives. Smile
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I'm starting to get a feel for your writing style. It leaves much to the imagination... perhaps too much. I'd love to know what breed of cows the monks had, what the barn was like if it was that cold inside in might be just a shed...
I wonder if Brother Samuel would say "Coptic" or just socks? They look very uncomfortable.
Anyway, keep writing. Maybe describe a little more with a few well-placed adjectives. Smile
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. They are Jersey cows. I think somewhere explain they have heavier cream as opposed to Holstein. Back in the 15th century they were lucky to have anything to wear. They had to be knitted by John, their shepherd, who Madeline deduced is her friend Cyndy who she will eventually become very good friends.
Comment from lyenochka
Of course, you know all about real cold and how to stay warm! I like that you transitioned to a different time. It shows how the time travel is still continuing. I really liked that there is a connection with Brother James, who is so caring and even gives reasons for the orders to carry out.
One comment:
I bet you, many a monk has dunked (I wonder if you need the "you" as it suddenly makes Madeline address the reader. The second person wasn't used before this point.)
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Of course, you know all about real cold and how to stay warm! I like that you transitioned to a different time. It shows how the time travel is still continuing. I really liked that there is a connection with Brother James, who is so caring and even gives reasons for the orders to carry out.
One comment:
I bet you, many a monk has dunked (I wonder if you need the "you" as it suddenly makes Madeline address the reader. The second person wasn't used before this point.)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your involved. The 'I bet you' is an idiom. It could have been written 'I betcha' maybe I should change it.
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I think you're right that it's idiomatic. It just suddenly felt like I was being addressed! 😊💖
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I think I'll change it the idiom will shine through
Comment from leather
No spelling errors were noted in this chapter, and it was nice to have the author's notes.
Some sections seem too wordy. There is one run-on sentence that has approximately 38 words in it.
Another sentence starting with the words 'I've heard whisperings.....' has two sections separated by a comma. However, the two sections seem unrelated.
This seems like a good story that just needs to be polished up.
Best wishes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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No spelling errors were noted in this chapter, and it was nice to have the author's notes.
Some sections seem too wordy. There is one run-on sentence that has approximately 38 words in it.
Another sentence starting with the words 'I've heard whisperings.....' has two sections separated by a comma. However, the two sections seem unrelated.
This seems like a good story that just needs to be polished up.
Best wishes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Jay Squires
It's good getting back to Samuel's adventures again. Your description of the winter and the cold sounds like someone who has experienced winter snow and cold. Good solid descriptions. I especially enjoyed the story of Dunstan and the devil.
I've heard whisperings, it's turning cold with snow falling frequently. [Hey, Liz, you need something more than a comma separating two complete sentences. A semicolon or a period would do.]
Wool double-socks doesn't sound so bad if it helps them to get better. ["socks" is plural, so it takes "don't" sound...]
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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It's good getting back to Samuel's adventures again. Your description of the winter and the cold sounds like someone who has experienced winter snow and cold. Good solid descriptions. I especially enjoyed the story of Dunstan and the devil.
I've heard whisperings, it's turning cold with snow falling frequently. [Hey, Liz, you need something more than a comma separating two complete sentences. A semicolon or a period would do.]
Wool double-socks doesn't sound so bad if it helps them to get better. ["socks" is plural, so it takes "don't" sound...]
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your observant review. It's good to know how it's coming across.
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I love it!
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***warm grin***
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I've always known the horseshoe over the door is good luck but never heard why. The story of St. Dunstan is interesting. It is also pleasant that James seems to be helping him so much. Very interesting chapter.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I've always known the horseshoe over the door is good luck but never heard why. The story of St. Dunstan is interesting. It is also pleasant that James seems to be helping him so much. Very interesting chapter.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your involved review.
Comment from aryr
What a fantastic continuation chapter, Liz. I really do appreciate your narrative notes, you take the time to explain each important thing. An amazing chapter about the continuation of Madeline / Brother Samuel. Milking cows is an fundamental thing for the time period and I am so glad that Brother Samuel was assigned this task. Brother James does seem to have medical knowledge. This was actually great. Very well done and greatly enjoyed .
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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What a fantastic continuation chapter, Liz. I really do appreciate your narrative notes, you take the time to explain each important thing. An amazing chapter about the continuation of Madeline / Brother Samuel. Milking cows is an fundamental thing for the time period and I am so glad that Brother Samuel was assigned this task. Brother James does seem to have medical knowledge. This was actually great. Very well done and greatly enjoyed .
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. It's good to know how my efforts are coming across.
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You are so welcome, Liz.
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***warm smile***
Comment from dellsworthpoet
I am enjoying this story. The small details of daily life add to the reality of the tale. The language is simple and fitting to the harsh setting. The flow is good. Images are sharp.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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I am enjoying this story. The small details of daily life add to the reality of the tale. The language is simple and fitting to the harsh setting. The flow is good. Images are sharp.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. It's good to know how my efforts are coming across.
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You are welcome.
