Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This senryu, As Chilly Winds Blow, presented with a 5-7-5 formatting, might leave the reader thinking that a relationship has fallen apart.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022

Yep, that was the intention.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Excellent entry for the. Write A Senryu writing prompt contest. It's so romantic and sad â?¡

Good syllables count and connection between lines with great presentation and imagery. It flows well with descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022

Thanks Gypsy.

Comment from C2

Exceptional

What an incredibly artful expression of the emotional experience of loss. The clever play with the word "leaves" and "uprooted" are stellar. I also love the image you chose. It's apt simplicity fits your poem perfectly. Well done!

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022

Thank you so much for your high praise of this poem.

Comment from jessizero

Excellent

I loved the imagery in this poem. The tree words really bring the poem to life. Thank you so much for choosing to share this here, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022

Thanks for your review feedback Jessi.

Comment from C.A.Currie

Excellent

I like it! Love the play on words with 'branched' leaves' and 'uprooted'. Is that a prerequisite of the style? (I'm still learning;-) )

Thanks for sharing!
Sunshine, Rainbows, and Unicorns from my heart to yours
~ Christine ~

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022

Thanks for reviewing. I am no expert, but no, it isn't a prerequisite, I just like wordplay so I use it a lot in my poems, whatever form they take.

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

I am chilled just reading it. :) Well done on developing a meaningful verse with such strict constraints. Your choice of artwork is spot on and helps the poem have even more depth. Good luck.

Melissa

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022

Thanks for your warm response to my chilly poem.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

A very clever Senryu - and I always like the play on words (branched, leaves, uprooted). The image is perfect to accompany your excellent entry. Sending good wishes to you for the contest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022

Thanks for your warm response to my chilly poem.

reply by Wendy G on 10-Jun-2022

I like your style!

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

The author's words are descriptive, interesting, are thought provoking
and creative. I like the way this author phrased these words. To me
there are different ways of understanding the meaning of these words.
The artwork is perfect and compliments these words.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022

Thanks for reviewing. I try to be ambiguous in my meaning.

Comment from Val Crisson

Excellent

I really like this senyru, as it ACTUALLY reads like a senyru. What a beautiful depiction of a "breakup" My only suggestion is that you might want to center it for more pop. I love the way the title is presented and the lack of caps and very little punctuation

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022

Thank you for offering a great suggestion - I changed it to see how it looks and it is definitely an improvement.

reply by Val Crisson on 10-Jun-2022

I think so to.

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022

Thanks again.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I like this clever senyru which describes a relationship that ended in fall, leaving the Speaker discombobulated.
Excellent use of the tree metaphorically to describe both him and now her. I also like how "leaves" takes on a double meaning.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022

Thanks Rod. (I haven't heard 'discombobulated' for years - I love it.)